5 Love Languages of Children

1. 5 Love Languages of Children Presented by: Melissa J. MacDonald

3. Love as the foundation • You may truly love your child but unless she/he feels it they will not feel loved. • Every child has an emotional tank, a place of emotional strength that can fuel them now and in the future. • By speaking your child’s own love language you can fill his “emotional tank” with love.

4. The 5 Love Languages • Physical Touch • Words of Affirmation • Quality Time • Gifts • Acts of Service

5. Remember • Every child has their own special way of perceiving love. • No child can receive too much appropriate unconditional love • Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them.

6. Physical Touch

7. Physical Touch • Physical touch is one of love’s strongest voices. • Studies have found that most parents only touch when necessary • All children need to be touched • A hug given before a child leaves for school could be the difference between emotional security and insecurity through the day.

8. Physical Touch • Keep filling the love tank even if your child isn’t showing signs they need it • In pre-adolescent and adolescence you must keep touching • Be intentional about physical touch

9. Loving through physical touch • Snuggle while watching tv together • Hug and kiss your child every day before and after school and as you tuck them into bed. • Give high fives • Play games that require physical touch

10. Words of Affirmation

11. Words of Affirmation • Words of affirmation goes beyond just saying “I love you” • If you use praise too frequently, your words will have little positive effect. • The word encourage literally means “to instill courage” • The greatest enemy of encouraging is is anger. • The volume of your voice matters greatly

12. Words of Affirmation • Be careful not to give the right message in the wrong manner. • ie. Yelling “stop screaming and yelling at your brother” • Your words are very important and help shape your child • Be intentional • “Parenting is not just a matter of doing what comes naturally”

13. Loving through words of affirmation • Put a note in your child’s lunch • Mention specific moments you’ve observed that highlight your child’s accomplishments • Create a special nickname for your child • Say, “I love you”

14. Quality Time

15. Quality Time • “He does things with me” • Quality time is focused, undivided attention. • Quality time is a parent’s gift of presence to a child. • You don’t necessarily have to go anywhere • Use eye contact

16. Quality Time • Quality time is not just doing things together, it’s a time for knowing your child better • Children never outgrow the need for quality conversations with parents and adults.

17. Loving through quality time • Stop what your doing when your child is telling you something important and make eye contact with them. • Ask specific questions about your child’s day • Take family walks and bike rides together. • Share meals as a family

18. Gifts

19. Gifts • Other love languages must be given along with a gift • A true gift is not a payment for services rendered, it is an expression of love for the individual • If we do not present gifts as expressions of love, children may learn to receive them as “what is to be expected”

20. Gifts • Be careful not to abuse gift-giving • Parents and grandparents may need to give less rather than more, carefully choosing gifts that will be meaningful. • Not all gifts must come from a store

21. Loving through gift giving • Make a meal you know your child likes. • Give your child a special song. • Create a “secret drawer” where your child can keep her small “treasures”- anything from a bird feather to a pack of gum. • Hide a small gift in your child’s lunch box.

22. Acts of Service

23. Acts of Service • The day you found out you would have a child you enrolled into full-time service. • What would most please your children at the moment is likely not the best way to express your love. • As you express acts of service to your children you are setting a model.

24. Acts of Service • Loving service is an internally motivated desire to give one’s energy to others. • Do an attitude check every now and then to be sure that your acts of service are communicating love.

25. Loving through acts of service • help your children practice for their sports team • Begin teaching your child the importance of serving other through regular involvement together in a local community group or church ministry. • Create flash cards for your child’s upcoming test or quiz

26. Finding your child’s love language • It takes time • Kids are constantly growing and shifting • Children need all love languages to fill their love tank • Observe how your child expresses love • Listen to what your child requests most often

27. Finding your child’s love language • Notice what your child frequently complains about • Give your child a choice between two options • Be multi-lingual

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30. 5 Love Languages of Children Presented by: Melissa J. MacDonald