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作文点评

作文点评. 作者： 林茜 地址： 广东南海大沥高级中学 邮编： 528231 联系电话： 0757-85518566 邮箱： lindalinxi@163.com 本课件适用于高三复习课. 题目 ： 目前，沙尘暴多次肆虐我国。假如你是李华，请根据下图，向报社投稿。呼吁大家植树造林，保护环境。 注意： 1. 字数 100 左右； 2. 开头已为你写好。 提示： wasteland 荒地 sandstorm 沙尘暴 . NMET 书面表达评分原则. 1 、先根据文章的内容和语言初步 确定档次 。. 第五档 . 21~25 分

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作文点评

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  1. 作文点评 作者：林茜 地址：广东南海大沥高级中学 邮编：528231 联系电话：0757-85518566 邮箱：lindalinxi@163.com 本课件适用于高三复习课

  2. 题目： 目前，沙尘暴多次肆虐我国。假如你是李华，请根据下图，向报社投稿。呼吁大家植树造林，保护环境。 注意：1.字数100左右； 2.开头已为你写好。 提示：wasteland 荒地 sandstorm 沙尘暴

  3. NMET书面表达评分原则 1、先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定档次。 第五档. 21~25分 第四档. 16~20分 第三档. 11~15分 第二档. 6~10分 第一档. 1~5分 0分

  4. 覆盖所有内容要点 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇 2、主要内容： 内容要点； 词汇和语法的数量和准确性； 上下文的连贯； 语言的得体性 语言地道，流畅,规范 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分

  5. 3、拼写和标点是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。3、拼写和标点是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。 4、词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分。 5、如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。

  6. 作品1: 得分 : 10 分 点评: 要点齐,文章的基本框格有，卷面清楚，但有些句子表达不正确, 受汉语影响;语法错多. 作品2: 得分:15分 点评: 要点齐全,结构完整,少语法错误,句子的表达基本正确,但句子比较平淡,句式变化少.

  7. 作品3 得分: 20分 点评: 要点齐全, 结构完整, 连贯性好,文笔流畅,从句使用恰当, 句式有变换,出现高级句型 和语法多样化，基本无语法错误.

  8. 要点全 如何算是一篇好文章？ 1.覆盖了所有的要点 2. 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇 3. 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑 词汇,句型 （高级）和语法多样化（较复杂） 连接词

  9. 1.要点齐全,结构较好,过渡词使用得当. 2.遣词造句有很大进步,句式多样,出现不少好词和好句. Good points

  10. Enjoy good sentences

  11. 1)Every day is not Sunday.(雁 晶) 2) How beautiful it was! 3) Going to see the flowers and trees was a feast for the eyes.(淑华) 4) The trees could be seen here and there. ( 燕文) 5)suffer from 6) strike/ sweep(艳霞)

  12. Compare the following sentences 1.Long long ago there were many trees . 2. There used to be forest everywhere. 3. It was the forest that covered our country. 4. Our country used to be a beautiful place. Thick trees covered the mountains , making it the best home for the birds and animals. What a beautiful scene it was! 一般 较好 优秀

  13. 书信格式. • 标点符号不规范. • 动词时态,语态使用不当.如 was begin/ It was looked beautiful./ We are grow more trees. • 受汉语影响. The people knew wrong./ People in order to grow more crops. Bad points

  14. Correction

  15. In the past my hometown is beautiful. Thick trees and 1 green grass could seen everywhere. In order to build __2__ houses and grew more crops, people cut down more ___3_ and more tree. As time went on, the whole forest __4__ was almost destroied. Gradually, the green hills __5__ changed into wasteland. As a result, __6__ the sandstorm strike us now and then. ___7__ People come to realize how serious this problem. ___8__ They were began to plant trees. So I do hope ___9_ the environment will more and more beautiful. _10__

  16. Enjoy the possible version

  17. Dear editor, 1)In the past my hometown used to be a beautiful place. Thick trees and green grass could be seen everywhere. 2)In order to build houses and grow more crops, people cut down more and more trees. As time went on, the whole forest was almost destroyed. 3)Gradually, the green hills have changed into wasteland. 4)As a result, sandstorms struck us now and then, from which we suffered a lot. So, 5)I do hope all the people should realize the terrible result of not caring about our environment. What’s more, we should take good care of the forests and plant more trees instead of cutting them down so as to improve our living conditions. Yours, Li Hua

  18. Homework • Use the good phrases to make some sentences • Rewrite your writing .

  19. Thank you

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