A Topical Approach to LIFE-SPAN DEVELOPMENT

1. A Topical Approach toLIFE-SPAN DEVELOPMENT Chapter Fourteen: Families, Lifestyles, and Parenting John W. Santrock

2. Family Processes • Reciprocal socialization • Individuals affected by five environmental systems • Microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, macrosystem, and chronosystem according to Bronfenbrenner • Microsystem level: reciprocal socialization • Bidirectional: children and parents socialize each other • Family as a social system • Sociocultural and historical changes • Affects family processes

3. Marital relationship Child behavior and development Parenting Direct and Indirect Interactions Between Parents and Children Fig. 14.1

4. Family Processes • Reciprocal socialization • Changes in families: children affected most • High immigration rates of Latinos and Asians in the United States • More stressors (language, identity, relocation, SES) • Older adults have lost socializing role in the family • More urban and suburban dwelling than in rural, on farms • More family mobility across the United States • More exposure to media and technology • More divorces and remarriages; rising dissatisfaction

5. Family Processes • Multiple development trajectories • Different trajectories for children and adults – timing of changes • Children: timing of child care and middle school entry • Adults: timing of family tasks and changes • Planned such as delayed marriage • Unplanned such as job loss and divorce • Reentry into workforce

6. Diversity of Adult Life Styles • Single Adults • Being single • Dramatic increase from 2000 to 2006 (ages 20 to 29) • Single stereotypes • Advantages and disadvantages • When deciding to settle down, changes occur in: • Autonomous decisions on life course, developing personal resources for goals, personal scheduling, pursuit of interests and opportunities, privacy

7. Diversity of Adult Life Styles • Cohabiting adults • Living together, unmarried, in a sexual relationship • United States: from 11% in 1970 to 60% today • More likely in low-income than higher-earning situations • Relationships more equal than those in marriage • Cohabiting tends to be short-lived in United States • Single women at higher risk of abuse than married ones • Higher in countries other than the United States • Advantages and disadvantages of cohabiting

8. Increase in Cohabitation in the United States Fig. 14.2

9. Diversity of Adult Life Styles • Cohabiting older adults • Increasing number are cohabiting: 4% today • More for companionship than love • Expected to continue increasing • Separate assets best when one needs expensive care • More stable, positive relationship than young cohabitating couples • More depressed than married counterparts • Less likely than young adults to marry their partner

10. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Married adults Fulfillment of goals in and out of marriage have changed marriage; created new trends Changing male-female equality in marriage has created more fragile, intense marital relationships More adults remain single longer United States still a marrying society; divorce rates slowing Social contexts: culture influences marriage International comparisons in marriage

11. Diversity of Adult Life Styles What makes marriages work Establishing love maps Nurturing fondness and admiration Turning toward each other instead of away Letting your partner influence you Solving solvable conflicts Overcoming gridlock Creating shared meaning

12. Diversity of Adult Life Styles What makes marriages work Coontz on U.S. marriages More fragile because partners have become more self-centered and career-minded? Increased equality, loving and intimate relationships, protection of children Gottman: Important for self-repair process Deep friendship and mutual respect Forgiveness and commitment are necessary; includes self-sacrifice

13. Diversity of Adult Life Styles What makes marriages work Premarital education Improves quality of marriage May reduce risk of divorce Linked to higher commitment level to spouse, lower destructive level in marital conflict Benefits of a good marriage Longer, healthier lives Lower levels of depression, anxiety, anger

14. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Marriage in middle and late adulthood Middle Adulthood Most marrieds express considerable satisfaction Middle Adulthood Widowhood and adjustment Adjustments needed at retirement Happiness affected by each partner’s coping with aging, personal conflicts More satisfied than younger singles; very happy

15. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Divorced adults Rate of 10% in 2002; decreasing since 1980s Higher rates in disadvantaged groups If divorce occurs, it usually happens early in marriage Stress of separation, divorce risks: psychological and physical difficulties Psychiatric disorders, hospital admission, clinical depression, alcoholism, sleep disorders, chronic health problems

16. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Dealing with divorce A chance for personal growth Make decisions carefully Focus more on the future than on past Use your strengths and resources Don’t expect success, happiness in all you do You’re never trapped by one pathway Custodial/non-custodial parental issues

17. Divorce Rate in Relation to Number of Years Married 10 8 6 Percent of divorcees 4 2 0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 Years married Fig. 14.5

18. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Divorced in Middle and Older Adults Main reason for staying married: children Main causes of divorce For women Verbal, physical, emotional abuse (23%) Alcohol or drug abuse (18%), cheating (17%) For men No obvious problems, just fell out of love (17%) Cheating (14%), different values, lifestyles (14%)

19. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Remarried Adults and adjustment Average: remarriage within four years of divorce Stepfamilies: many sizes/forms; face unique issues Custodial/noncustodial parents and stepparents face many challenges, complex problems Issues faced by biological grandparents of children; children adjustment to step-grandparents Strategies: have realistic expectations and develop new positive relationships within family Avoid repeating past problematic behaviors

20. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Remarriage and aging Remarriage rates are up due to longevity and better health Positive reaction by majority of adult children Gay and lesbian adults Usual legal, social barriers to separation often do not exist in same-sex partnerships Similar in satisfactions and need to find balance as heterosexual couples

21. Diversity of Adult Life Styles Gay and lesbian adults Lesbian couples place high priority on equality Compared to heterosexual couples Satisfactions: loves, joys, conflicts Needs: romantic love, affection, autonomy, equality More flexible in gender roles than heterosexuals Prefer long term, committed relationships Lesbians usually do not have open relationships Increasingly creating families with children

22. Parenting • Parental Roles • Many plan to be parents; others are startled • Needs and expectations stimulate myths • Timing of parenthood • Advantages of having children early and later • Transition to parenting requires adapting • Choices of how to become parents • Career and role decisions

23. Parenting • Parents As Managers • Provide opportunities, monitor, act as social arrangers for children • Teach child to be independent, make competent decisions • Serve as regulators of children • Effective management produces best outcomes • Important in adolescence due to social contexts available

24. Parenting • Parenting styles and discipline • No quick-fix approaches work; good parenting takes time and effort • Quality more important than quantity • Baumrind’s parenting styles • Authoritarian — restrictive, punitive • Authoritative — warm, supportive, accountability stressed • Neglectful — uninvolved in child’s life, no controls/norms • Indulgent — highly involved, child sets rules, no controls

25. Classification of Parenting Styles

26. Parenting • Parenting styles in context • Authoritative parenting linked to competence across wide range of • Ethnic/cultural groups (variation in styles, especially Asians and Latinos) • SES: physical punishment used more by African Americans • Most associated with positive child outcomes in ethnic studies

27. Parenting • Punishment and Discipline • Consequences of corporal or harsh punishment • Parent is out-of-control role model • Instills fear, rage, and avoidance in child • Shows/tells child what not to do; not what to do • Punishment can be abusive • Sweden outlawed physical child spanking in 1979 • Youth rates of delinquency, alcohol use, rape, and suicide dropped

28. Parenting • Coparenting • Cooperation, joint support of parents to raise child • Counseling and therapy benefits for parents • Child maltreatment • Almost 1 million children in 2002 were abused • 84% — abusers were parents • Laws in many states require reporting suspected abuse; still many cases go unreported • Maltreatment more diverse than “abuse”

29. Parenting • Types of child maltreatment • Physical abuse • Infliction of physical injuries • Child neglect: • Failure to provide basic necessities • Sexual abuse • Fondling of genitals, exploitation, pornography production, physical penetration of body cavities • Emotional abuse • Acts/omissions inflicting mental/psychological injury

30. Parenting • Context of abuse • No single factor is total cause • Presence of violence in U.S. culture and its media • Family member interactions • Perpetuating history: parents abused as children • Developmental consequences • Emotional and relational/attachment problems • Personality problems and risk of suicide • Aggressive behaviors and substance use/abuse

31. Parenting • Parent-adolescent relationships • Good parenting takes time and effort • Conflict when adolescents push for autonomy; gradual release of control is best • Gender and culture affect seeking and granting autonomy • Parent-child attachment remains important • Secure attachment very important through conflicts

32. Parenting • Parent-adolescent conflict issues • Adolescent changes • Biological changes of puberty • Cognitive changes and idealism • Social changes and independence • Emotional/maturational changes • Violated expectations and idealism • Some cultures marked by less conflict

33. Parenting • Emerging adult relationships with parents • Relationships with parents improve • Grow closer psychologically • Share more • Some emerging adult decisions may trouble parents • Advantages and disadvantages to living in parents’ home • Parents may set new rules for their own lives • A time to sort out emotional issues: what to take, leave, and create in adulthood

34. Parenting • Working parents • Work has positive/negative effects on parenting • Nature of parent’s work is important • Girls of working mothers engage in less gender stereotyping, have more egalitarian views of gender • Effects of mother working in first year on child’s later development is still debated

35. Parenting • Children in divorced families • U.S. divorce rate much higher than other countries • Effects of Divorce on Children • More likely to show poorer adjustment • More likely to have academic and behavioral problems • Overall adjustment affected by social maturity, gender, temperament, custody situation, SES • Adjustment improves if • Conflicts reduced by divorce • Parents harmonious and authoritative

36. Divorce and Children’s Emotional Problems Fig. 14.10

37. Parenting • Communicating with Children About Divorce • Explain separation • Separation not child’s fault • May take time to feel better • Keep door open for further discussion • Provide as much continuity as possible • Provide support for children and yourself

38. Parenting • Stepfamilies • Divorce and widowhood creates three types of stepfamilies • Stepfather, stepmother, blended or complex • In stepfamilies, children show more adjustment problems • Usually better relationships with custodial parents • More adjustment problems from divorced families • Adolescence is difficult time for adjustment demands

39. Parenting • Stepfamilies • Gay male and lesbian parents • More partnerships are creating families with children • Like heterosexual couples, gay/lesbian parenting varies • Adjustment from heterosexual union to gay union • Extensive debate on effects of gay/lesbian families but most researchers find few differences between children growing up in heterosexual families and those growing up in gay/lesbian families (overwhelming majority of children have heterosexual orientation)

40. Parenting • Adoptive parents and adopted children • Adoption: legal and social process of creating a parent-child bond between persons unrelated at birth • Increasing diversity exists • U.S. history: • Adopting healthy, white infants; unwanted at birth • Middle or upper class married, infertile couples • Strict screeningout by adoption agencies

41. Parenting • Adoptive parents and adopted children • Changes occurring • Adopting foreign ethnic/racial children • Adopting “special needs” children • Adopting children once in foster care; abused or neglected • Single, gay, and lesbian adults are adopting • Cannot generalize the average adoptee or adopting parent

42. Parenting • Developmental outcomes for adopted and nonadopted children • In general, adopted children • More likely to have psychological and school-related problems; use illicit drugs, engage in delinquency • Show slightly more behavior problems • Have higher use of mental health services • More prosocial, less likely to be withdrawn • No differences in self-esteem

43. Other Family Relationships • Siblings and birth order • Difficult to generalize as relationships vary • Persist over entire lifespan; closer in adulthood • Three important characteristics • Emotional quality of relationship • Familiarity and intimacy of relationship • Variation in sibling relationships

44. Other Family Relationships • Birth order • Limitations on what can be predicted • Higher expectations for first-born children • First born more adult-oriented, helpful, conforming, anxious, and self-controlled • Only child often achievement-oriented and displays desirable personality • Affected by many factors: • Parenting styles, family relationships/contact, peers, school, socioeconomics, and culture

45. Other Family Relationships • Grandparenting and Great Grandparenting • Highly satisfying for most • Easier than parenting; enjoy frequent contact • Grandmothers have more contact • Functions of role varies in families, ethnic groups, and cultures; support, advice, child care • Grandparent roles and styles • Biological continuity and reward • Emotional fulfillment, companionship

46. Other Family Relationships • Changing profile of grandparents • Increasing number raising their grandchildren • Divorce, adolescent pregnancies, drug use by parents • In 2005: 6.1 million children • Stress linked to raising grandchildren • Less than 20% of grandparents are 65 years or older • Younger age of grandparents, “special needs” children • Grandparents/great grandparents are living longer • Better educated, better health, still employed

47. Other Family Relationships • Grandmothers and Grandfathers • Grandmother • Maintained family ties across generations • Have more contact with grandchildren than grandfather • Grandfathers • Few expectations for role, more voluntary • Little research done on great-grandparenting

48. Other Family Relationships • As children age, think more positively of their parents • Mother-daughter conflicts lessen over life course • Family members maintain considerable contact • Parents and young adult children describe their relationship differently; relationship related to nature of earlier relationship

49. Other Family Relationships • Intergenerational relationships vary among cultures and ethnic groups • Common conflicts arise • Communication and interaction style • Habits and lifestyle choices • Childrearing practices and values • Affected by earlier family experiences • Affected by gender, education, and age • ‘Sandwich generation’ issues

50. The End