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Self Esteem

Self Esteem. What is self-esteem ?. Self -esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves.

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Self Esteem

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  1. Self Esteem

  2. What is self-esteem? • Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. • We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. • Ultimately self-esteem can be improved.

  3. The effects of good or low self-esteem • If you have good self-esteem you like yourself and believe that you are as OK as other people. If you have low self-esteem it means that you feel that you are not OK and that other people are better than you are. • People with low self-esteem tend to focus on, and magnify, what they see as being wrong about themselves and ignore their strengths and achievements. • Self-esteem affects how you feel, how you relate to others, how you deal with challenges and how safe and relaxed you feel in your daily life.

  4. To be happy you need to like yourself. If you believe that you are not OK, or if you constantly put yourself down you are more likely to feel depressed, anxious or miserable. • Self esteem affects • Your relationships • Your willingness to try new things • How relaxed and comfortable you feel in the world. • It's not about boasting or trying to prove to other people how good you are. It is about believing in yourself and what you think you can do.

  5. The cycle of low self-esteem • Low self-esteem can become a vicious cycle. • If you don't feel OK about yourself you may not try to be friendly to someone else. You may not smile or try to talk to another person. That person might then think that you are cold and distant and may not try to be friendly with you. This can lead you to feeling worse about yourself, and it is harder to try again.

  6. Some of the things that people with low self-esteem might do: • Compare themselves to everyone around them and pick out things that another person has that are better – such as 'she is good at maths and I am bad'. They do not see the things about themselves that are OK. • They don't listen to the good things that people say about them. • They say negative things about themselves such as 'I am stupid' or 'I am ugly'. • They only dwell on things that went wrong or when they felt embarrassed • People with low self-esteem don't try something new because they believe that they won't be able to do it well. They will sit back and wait for something to happen rather than trying to make it happen. When it does not happen they can feel even worse.

  7. Building self-esteem • Self-esteem is something that can be built up but it is not something that you can achieve over night. It is something that you need to work on over time. • A good way of building self-esteem is to talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend. Notice the things that you are good at, and remind yourself of them. If you make mistakes, forgive yourself. • Become aware of your negative self talk ('I am stupid' or 'I am ugly') and replace it with thoughts about how you could do better next time. For example instead of thinking 'I did not do well in the test because I am stupid' think 'next time there is a test I will study more'. 

  8. Building self-esteem • Stick to the facts. You might think 'no-one likes me' when in fact only one or two people in your class don't like you, and the rest think that you are OK. • Avoid comparing yourself with others. If you try hard enough you can always find someone who seems to be prettier or stronger than you are, or who can do better in tests. If you compare yourself negatively with someone else you might not try to look good yourself. For example you might not wash your hair regularly if you believe that it is no use.

  9. Building self-esteem • Everyone has faults and weaknesses – this is part of being human. The key to good self-esteem is self-acceptance. This means that you do not wait until you are 'perfect'; you instead notice the things that you already can do well, and plan the next little step needed to move towards your goal. • Communicate assertively with others. This can mean looking at the other person and speaking clearly rather than looking at your feet and mumbling. This helps others to treat you with respect and this will help you feel good about yourself. Have a look at the topic 'Assertiveness – what it means'.

  10. Reference/ Resource • http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=243&np=293&id=2161

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