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Parenting in 2016

Parenting in 2016. Tips and Guidelines. Parenting is Imperfect. Trust your judgment LISTEN Reflect and Try again Be mindful. Do as I say/ Not as I Do P rofessional advice/ not my own Only you know your children and circumstances. PRESENTATION. LIFE SKILLS DISCIPLINE SCREEN TIME.

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Parenting in 2016

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  1. Parenting in 2016 Tips and Guidelines

  2. Parenting is Imperfect • Trust your judgment • LISTEN • Reflect and Try again • Be mindful • Do as I say/ Not as I Do • Professional advice/ not my own • Only you know your children and circumstances

  3. PRESENTATION • LIFE SKILLS • DISCIPLINE • SCREEN TIME

  4. Career Builder national survey of 2200 employers rated these “soft skills as critical to employment: • Organized/ Set Priorities • Works well under pressure • Effective communicator • Flexibility • Problem Solving • Strong Work Ethic • Dependable/ Reliability • Leadership • Self Motivated / Initiative • Team oriented • Career Builder 2014

  5. Top Value Parents want for their children-Pew 2014- Study of 3000 parents • Responsibility- regardless of race/ age/ politics- 93% ranked this as first • We want kids who can be relied on and who work hard • Religious faith was stronger among conservatives • Empathy for others- more liberal • Curiosity • Well mannered • Independent • Obedient

  6. “Raising Good Kids”- Harvard 6/2015 study So many choices!

  7. “Raising a caring, respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work. But it’s something all of us can do, And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding” HARVARD PARENTING STUDY 2015

  8. Show them the Big Picture Hang with your kids If it Matters, Say it out Loud Show Your Child How to Work it Out Make a Helpfulness and Gratitude Routine Check your Child’s Destructive Emotions- Why? Show your Kids the Big Picture Harvard 2015 Study Raising Good Kids

  9. RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORS • LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE • ACKNOWLEDGE PEOPLE • SHAKE HANDS • STAND UP • DON’T INTERRUPT • USE MANNERS • THANK YOU/ PLEASE • ADDRESS OTHERS WITH RESPECT

  10. RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORS • NO AND STOP- MEAN IT!!! • DON’T EMBARRASS OTHERS • EVEN IF THEIR WRONG • HELP OTHERS • REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE

  11. we Communication skills “We need to elevate speaking to the same level as reading and writing” Founder of Well Being- a social learning curriculum- 10/2016

  12. DISCIPLINE

  13. DISCIPLINE • NEGOTIATING- WATCH THE BARGAINING • NO MORE MENUS AT MEAL TIME • TEAM CLEANING • NO MORE UNDERNMING TEACHERS AND COACHES • BOSSES/ CO WORKERS/ YOUR 10 YEAR OLD MIGHT BE WRONG • BUS INCIDENT • NO MORE COVERING FOR THEM • FORGOT THEIR HOMEWORK/ SPORTS EQUIPMENT/ LUNCH • BE CONSISTENT

  14. “LETTING CHILDREN ALWAYS WIN GAMES AND COMPETITIONS MAY GIVE THEM A FALSE SENSE OF CONFIDENCE AND OFTEN INTERFERES WITH DEVELOPING PROBLEM SOLVING STRATEGIES.” JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY

  15. DAYDREAMING/ UNPLUG!!!

  16. Family Media Plan Children are spending an average of 7 hours a day on entertainment media including Television, computers, phones and other electronic devices Need to balance media use with other healthy behaviors Average tween sends over 130 text per day AAP/ 2016

  17. DAYDREAMING FIVE TIMES MORE INFORMATION COMES AT AN INDIVIDUAL TODAY THAN IT DID IN 1986 HOW DO CHILDREN SHIFT THROUGH THIS OVERWHELMING STIMULI? SCHOOLS AND PARENTS HAVE A NEW JOB/ TEACHIIG CHILDREN THE LEGITIMACY OF MESSAGES/ WEBSITES/ EXTERNALIZE THE PROCESS- GOOD OLD NOTE CARDS HAVE DAYDREAMERS AD ORGANIZERS WORK TOGETHER LIKE IN SILICON VALLEY AT GOOGLE!

  18. DAYDREAMING • MULTITASKING DOES NOT EXIST- NOT AS PRODUCTIVE AS WE THINK • BRAIN ONLY WORKS IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER SO IT WILL KEEP BREAKING DOWN • AND RECEIVING INFORMATION AND WILL HAVE TO CONTINUALLY • BREAK IT DOWN …Daniel Levitin, McGill University • MULTITASKING IS STRESSFUL ON THE BODY • THE BRAIN USES OXYGENATED GLUCOSE FASTER AND RELEASES • THE STRESS HORMONE CORTISOL/ ANXIETY • ONE TASK AT A TIME LEADS TO MORE EFICIENCY/ SET PRIORITIES • TAKE BREAKS- THOSE WHO DO ARE MORE PRODUCTIVE • GIVES THE BRAIN WILL CONSOLIDATE AND PROCESS • CHILDREN NEED SOME SPONTANEITY AND DOWN TIME

  19. American Academy of Pediatrics 10/2016 • Content matters • 80,000 apps- Commonsensemedia.org- to review age appropriate apps/ games • Co-engagement counts • Playtime critical • Create tech free zones • Kids will be kids- expect mistakes • Media is just another environment • Parenting has not changed • Role model • We learn from each other • Set limits • Its ok for teens to be online

  20. American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Screen time- 10/2016_________________________________________ • Healthychildren.org- sets limits – family media use plan • Devices at the table! • Difference between passive and interactive • Avoid for less than 18 months • 18-24 months introduce high quality programming like Sesame Street/ watch it with them • 2-5 years old- limit to one hour of high quality programs and co view (speech vs passive communication) • School age- balance all other interactive parts of school life

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