Chapter 24: Word Choice

1. Chapter 24: Word Choice Slang • Slang should be avoided in academic writing; it is not standard English. • Example: I got your back. • Revised: I will protect you. • Example: Back in the day, I had money. • Revised: In the past, I had money. • Example: He was shady. • Revised: He was an unscrupulous individual.

2. Chapter 24: Word Choice Clichés • Clichés are worn-out expressions. At one time, they were a new way of making a point, but now they have been used too often. • Avoid using clichés in your writing. • Example: I know that Monica is as cool as a cucumber. • Revised: I know that Monica is calm in precarious situations. • Example: Kanye experienced the trials and tribulations of late registration. • Revised: Kanye experienced the difficulties of late registration.

3. Chapter 24: Word Choice Wordiness • As you revise and edit your work, check for wordiness, the use of extra words. • If you can say the same thing in fewer words, do so to be precise and direct. • Example: After the accident, I thought in my own mind that I was to blame. • Revised: After the accident, I thought I was to blame. • Example: In my opinion, I think children should exercise daily. • Revised: In my opinion, children should exercise daily. • Example: Juan bought a CD for the price of $10.95. • Revised: Juan bought a CD for $10.95.

4. Chapter 24: Word Choice Pretentious Writing • Pretentious writing happens when a writer uses too many words in order to impress the reader. The language is too elevated or too technical for the situation. (Remember: Good writers choose words not for their length, but rather for their accuracy to describe.) • Example: In the eve of the night that occurred before tonight, I was surprisingly able to fall upon the extremely favorable fortune of obtaining a surmountable surplus of coinage during my temporary career as a uniformed person in the employment at the establishment where other persons consume foods of mineral, animal, and vegetable. • Revised: Last night, I was fortunate to make over sixty dollars in tips at the restaurant.

5. Chapter 24: Word Choice Exercises • Revise sentences when wordiness, clichés, pretentiousness, or slang is used (answers can vary). Q. After I have finished working the long shift at my job where I work long shifts, I sit in my car and drive myself back to my apartment where I live. A. After I have finished working a long shift, I drive back to my apartment. Q. My heart beat like a drum. A. My heart beat quickly. Q. Check out that dude’s new duds; he’s got mega loot! A. Look at that man’s new clothes; he has a lot of money!

6. Chapter 24: Word Choice Exercises • Revise sentences when wordiness, clichés, pretentiousness, or slang is used (answers can vary). Q. For preschool students, a teacher should explain the detailed and careful precautions they should take in their academic-natured child-learning center if a tornado that is labeled as an F5 on the Fujita Scale should happen to occur from the wall cloud that were, in fact, exhibiting profound rotation. A. For preschool students, a teacher should carefully explain what the students should do if a tornado happens to strike their school. Q. Betty spilled the beans. A. Betty revealed the secret.

7. Chapter 24: Word Choice Exercises • Revise sentences when wordiness, clichés, pretentiousness, or slang is used (answers can vary). Q. When I was walking, moving one foot in front of the other, on the stones, some rounder than others, by the lake under the gray sky with birds in it flying south, I knew that the cold of winter would be here really, really, really, really, really, really soon. A. When I was walking on the stones by the lake, I saw birds in the gray sky flying south, and I knew that winter would be here really soon. Q. Vera was as busy as a bee while I ate like a pig. A. Vera was quite busy while I was occupied eating.