Technology, social media, & the internet

Technology, social media, & the internet September 2012

Just some data • Teens send an average 166 texts a day. • More than half of all parents use some sort of parental control to monitor their teen's internet access. • 1/3 teens claim to have met someone online with whom they ended up having intimate relations. • Teens who watched videos online in a one-month period were exposed to 1.2 million drug-related videos. • Nearly one in five teens (19%) report they have been harassed or bullied online. • Remember, your child has a deep social need to be connected at all times. To you this seems superficial but to them it is reality!

teen technology trends • Am I pretty? • “Truth is” or “To be honest…” • Checking in • Omegle and Chatroulette • Formspring • SimSimi

teen technology trends: am I pretty? • Users post a video of themselves on YouTube asking viewers to say if she is pretty or ugly in the comments. The comments range from hateful to sexually explicit. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/03/am-i-pretty-youtube-pheno_n_1318713.html

teen technology trends: Truth is… • Users put "Truth is…" or “To be honest…” as their status, and then post their truthful feelings about everyone who "likes" that status. Yes, kids are asking for it by liking the status, but can be very surprised and hurt by what is written.

teen technology trends: Checking in… • A common feature on Facebook, Twitter, FourSquare, and other social networking sites, “checking in” posts your current location to everyone who has access to your profile. Even if your teen's profile is private, they are often not be selective about who their friends are. http://www.wafb.com/story/14603770/hidden-dangers-from-checking-in-on-facebook

teen technology trends: Omegle & Chatroulette • These are websites that allow users to text or video chat (respectively) with strangers. These are very popular with teenage girls. They are often exposed to live videos of men masturbating and/or exposing their genitals or asking the girls to expose their breasts. http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/04/talk-to-strangers-is-the-new-chat-craze-dangerous-for-girls/

teen technology trends: formspring • Users set up an account allowing other users to ask them questions or make comments about them, either anonymously or through their own accounts. The questions and the user’s responses are recorded on their page for everyone to read. Because it is seen as consensual, many teens do not consider cruelty on Formspring to be bullying. http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/03/what-every-parent-should-know-about-formspring-the-new-cyberscourge-for-teens/

teen technology trends: simsimi • A website and smartphone app that allows users to chat with an artificially intelligent robot, which is trained by users. Teens have adapted this app as a tool for bullying, teaching the robot to say cruel or inappropriate things when a user types in a certain name. http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2012/02/10/concerns-growing-over-smartphone-app-bullying/

The internet is permanent • It is harder growing up today because of the permanency of what is posted, tweeted, texted, etc. • It is incumbent in parents to help our kids put this in perspective because they cannot truly understand time. • Timeline of life - short years but long lasting consequences because of technology.

psychological effects of social media on teens and families • Teens are more connected and also less connected • How to help teens utilize this to their benefit not detriment • Dangers include • Sexting • Unwanted strangers • Porn/addiction • Games • NO FAMILY TIME

warning signs of distress in your teen • Anger • Addictive behavior • Only social outlet • Extreme secrecy • Loss of reputation • Look for maturity or lack of in other areas

The Good news… • It is your right and responsibility as a parent to involve yourself in your child’s use of technology!

Monitoring your child’s internet usage • At Home: • Mac Parental Controls • Net Nanny • Clear Sail • Spectrosoft (recommended by EHS parents) • At School: • Past 48 hours of internet use at school can be tracked by IT. • Contact David Lankford or Rey Gongora for those reports If you block your child’s internet usage, they WILL find a way around it. If you monitor use, you have the opportunity to correct the behavior.

how to engage your teen in meaningful conversation about internet use • Ask other parents and us at school • Engage your child in drafting the rules for the family: • guidelines for use • consequences for breaking those rules

Engaging your child, cont. • Validate your child’s reality and their need to be connected. • Rather than asking your child “do you use Chatroulette?” try saying “do you know people who use Chatroulette? What do you think about it?” • Model appropriate use of technology: • Minimize texting • Don’t use cell phone or laptop at mealtime

How to get involved • Require that your child add you as a friend on Facebook, but never comment on anything or post pictures of them (it's embarrassing). • If your child is not posting on their Facebook page, they probably have another "secret" one that they actually use! • Some families require that ALL family members (adults included) leave cell phones in a basket by the front door when they are at home. Try this as an experiment for a week (or even just a day) and see if it changes the dynamic in your home. • Consider keeping your child's phone and laptop in your room at night. Many teens have such an intense need to be connected at all times that they sleep with their phones on their chest. Night time is prime time for bullying and gossiping via phone or social media. • Require that all computer usage be in a common area of the home. Even if your child is doing schoolwork, teens "multi-task" by checking Facebook every few minutes while working. Wiseman, Rosalind. Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World. New York: Three Rivers, 2009. Print.

resources • www.cypu.org

Questions? • Jill Ahrens, Choices Counselor: (713) 512-3481, jahrens@ehshouston.org • Lauren Weiner, Choices Intern: lweiner@ehshouston.org • Beth Fowler, School Psychologist:(713) 512-3404, bfowler@ehshouston.org • Adam Greene, Dean of Spiritual Life: (713) 512-3409, agreene@ehshouston.org

Technology, social media, & the internet