Avoiding biggest mistakes in Divorce

1. Phone: 203-403-6659 Toll Free: 866-463-5144 Fax: 203-431-2189 E-mail: gcapodilupo@ridgefieldattorney.com Avoiding biggest mistakes in Divorce

2. During the divorce process, people are already stressed. It is not uncommon to make mistakes under such stress which can detrimental to one’s interest in divorce case. This presentation highlights some of such mistakes and ways to avoid them.

3. Ignoring alternatives to fighting in court • Research your options before you see a divorce lawyer. • Take informed decision. • Team mediation, and collaborative law are excellent, lower cost, private alternatives to litigation. • In the trial, the arguments can be nasty and lead to washing dirty linen in the public.

4. Running straight to a divorce lawyer when you are mad • Take time to decide. • Wait to make major decisions like how you choose to divorce until you are calm and thinking clearly. • It is difficult to be rational when you are emotional and angry. • In a state of seething anger, you may agree to pay a large retainer to a divorce lawyer, in order to get out of marriage at any cost.

5. Hiring the divorce lawyer who tells you everything you want to hear • Choose a lawyer who talks to you realistically about all your options. • He should say what law says, and what is reasonable to expect in your case. • He should not make statements and tall claims to impress you. • They are tall claims, just to solicit you. • Beware of any lawyer who says • You are right and your spouse is wrong. • I can fix everything. • I can get you everything you want.

6. Using your lawyer as your mouthpiece • Before seeing a divorce lawyer , talk to your spouse and try to reach at agreement in the areas of less contention. • If you can’t talk to your spouse, try using a mediator – a common friend, relative or someone you both trust. • Talking through lawyers. • It is expensive and message often miscommunicated or misinterpreted causing more trouble.

7. Demanding everything and offer nothing • State your needs in terms of interests, not demands. • Tell your spouse why what you want is important to you. • Be reasonable and realistic. • Fear can cause people in divorce to demand things. • More spousal maintenance than reasonable • Sole custody of a child when both are fit parents. • Making unreasonable demands may make your divorce nastier and protracted.

8. Making a public spectacle of your spouse • Use divorce mediation or collaborative law which are confidential processes, to deal with such issues. • Character assassination of your spouse in the court lowers dignity of both of you. • If you have children, they need both of you to take care of them and be as their role models.

9. Stop seeing your therapist or pastor • Find a therapist, pastor, or support group to help get you through. • A therapist, pastor, or support group provide channels to deal with those stressful and lonely times. • Stress can be devastating for your physical and mental health. • Many divorcing spouses report is they no longer have a close adult to talk to everyday and feels lonely and insecure.

10. Contact Divorce Attorney Giustino Capodilupo 100 Danbury Road, Suite 101 Ridgefield, CT 06877 Phone: 203-403-6659 Toll Free: 866-463-5144 Fax: 203-431-2189