Fiqh of Marriage

1. Fiqh of Marriage Instructor: AyshaWazwaz 18

2. Marriage in Islam and its legislature مشروعية الزواج • General ruling on marriage in Islam • Allah Almighty considers it a sign of His glory • سبحان الذي خلق الأزواج كلها (يس 36) • ومن ءاياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا (الروم 21) • The prophet peace be upon him asking the youth to get married • Prophets way • Natural order, natural fitra, if going halal becomes worship • Media portrays marriage as boring, to much responsibility • Delaying the age of marriage is part of fasad, since it contradicts Islamic order from beginning. 18

3. Marriage a natural order • ومن كل شيء خلقنا زوجين لعلكم تذكرون ( الذاريات 49) • The natural fitra goes in the order and follows the system God had created in this world. • Going against fitra is therefore harram, and a spiritual denouncer. • Therefore, homosexuality, or any type of sexual fulfillment outside of legitimate married couple of man and women is harram, and a major sin. • والذين هم لفروجهم حافظون إلا على أزواجهم أو ما ملكت أيمانهم • In the Quran any type of sexual act outside of marriage is فاحشة 18

4. Marriage to continue life existence • والله جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجاً وجعل لكم من أزواجكم بنين وحفدة ( النحل 72) • يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيرا ونساءً (النساء 1) 18

5. Marriage family rights • Have safe, secure and healthy children, women and men. • Rights and responsibilities to manage the marriage system in a certain direction. • Preserve families from physical, psychological and social disorders. • "The choice of spouse is one of the most significant you'll make in your life; it is more serious than choosing a house or anything," says Brian Baker, a psychiatrist at the University of Toronto. "There is nothing like a good, solid marriage." 18

6. Health facts and marriage • "The benefits are better physical health, more resistance to infection, fewer infections, and a reduced likelihood of dying from cancer, from heart disease, from all major killers," psychologist and author John Gottman, PhD, tells WebMD • "There are physical benefits and mental health benefits," says Gottman. "You have less depression, less anxiety disorders, less psychosis, less posttraumatic stress disorders, fewer phobias. You also have fewer injuries due to accidents."

7. Islam encourages marriage • فانكحوا ما طاب لكم من النساء (النساء 3) • جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا ومن الأنعام أزواجاً (الشورى 11) • يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها (النساء 1) • في صحيح البخاري: «تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك» • The prophet peace be upon him said: women are chosen for their: wealth, beauty, piety, choose piety, or poverty is your destiny” • قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض لبصر، وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء» • The prophet peace be upon him said: “oh youth, who ever is physically capable of getting married, then do so, for it preserves your gaze, and your chastity, who ever is not able to do so, then he shall fast, for it will guard him” 18

8. Islam encourages marriage • وأنكحوا الأيامى منكم والصالحين من عبادكم وإمائكم (النور 32) • ولقد أرسلنا رسلا من قبلك وجعلنا لهم أزواجاً وذرية» (الرعد 25) • Prophet invoked Allah Almighty: • ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين (الفرقان 74) • Jannah a place where marriage is a reward • ولهم فيها أزواج مطهرة وهم فيها خالدون (البقرة 25) • جنات عدن يدخلونها ومن صلح من آبائهم وأزواجهم وذرياتهم» (الرعد 23) 18

9. Islam against celibacy. • Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: • Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (PBUH). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (PBUH) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (PBUH) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. • - وعن أنس رضي الله عنه قال‏:‏ جاء ثلاثة رهط إلى بيوت أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، يسألون عن عبادة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فلما أخبروا كأنهم تقالوها وقالوا‏:‏ أين نحن من النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قد غفر الله له تقدم من ذنبه وما تأخر‏.‏ قال أحدهم‏:‏ أما أنا فأصلي الليل أبداً وقال الآخر‏:‏ وأنا أصوم الدهر أبداً ولا أفطر، وقال الآخر‏:‏ وأنا أعتزل النساءفلاأتزوج أبداً، فجاء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إليهم فقال‏:‏ ‏"‏أنتم الذين قلتم كذا وكذا‏؟‏‏!‏ أما والله إني لأخشاكم لله وأتقاكم له لكني أصوم وأفطر، وأصلي وأرقد، وأتزوجالنساء، فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏ ‏. 18

10. Marriage and realities • Poll: Importance of Marriage Dropping Among Americans • Within the Muslim community, marriage is a problem: • Financial problems • Finding the right person • Cultural differences • Generation barriers • Lack of awareness • Book smart, social ignorance on how to win hearts over arguments • Family interference • Financial pressure, along with degree and dream pressures. 18

11. Claiming the marriage is not important • Some ideas in the community • Marriage is a headache • Marriage is a barrier to success • Marriage is disgusting • I don’t want to talk about marriage with my teenage daughters… • Marriage is never successful • Marriage is disgusting 18

12. Replying to previous claims • إنما كان قول المؤمنين إذا دعوا إلى الله ورسوله ليحكم بينهم أن يقولوا سمعنا وأطعنا (النور 51) • وما كان لمؤمن ولا مؤمنة إذا قضى الله ورسوله أمرا أن يكون لهم الخيرة من أمرهم (الأحزاب 36) • The prophet peace be upon him encouraged marriage • If a marriage goes the wrong way, doesn’t make marriage the problem, but wrong application is the problem. 18

13. A scholars note • Alshafi’ee said: “God Almighty had permitted and loved marriage for men and women, if they are in desire, because God Almighty had accepted it, encouraged it, and the prophet peace be upon him had said: “get married, and bring children, I will be proud of you on judgement day over all nations, even with the lowest persons” • He also said: “who ever loves my path shall take my path, and marriage is from my path and tradition. “ • يقول الشافعي رحمه الله تعلى: «أحب للرجل والمرأة أن يتزوجها إذا تقات أنفسهم إليه، لأن الله تعالى أمر به ورضيه وندب إليه، وبلغنا عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «تناكحوا تكاثروا، فإن أباهي بكم الأمم حتى بالسقط»، وقال «من أحب فطرتي، فليستن بسنتني، ومن سنتي النكاح» • مختصر المزني 3/ 255 18

14. Level of recommendations in general • Obligatoryواجب/ فرض • Sunnah: highly recommended سنة مؤكدة • Sunnah: recommended سنة • Mubah: permissible مباح • Makrooh: hated مكروه • Harram: forbidden حرام 18

15. Level of recommendation of marriage • Scholars had different opinions • Obligatory , which would mean that the person that leaves marriage is sinning, during capability • فرض كفاية community obligation • Permissible when having the desire, and obligatory when fearing zina • Makrooh, claimed to have been said by Alshafi’ee. 18

16. When is marriage harram or makrooh • Marriage would be makrooh in the situation: • If /he/she is incapable of fulfilling marriage duties • Financial for wife and family • Psychological incapability of not being able to e just with his wife or husband. Such as certain bipolar or mental disorders • Some scholars hated it for hostages in a place other than a Muslim place in fear of his children growing up in non Muslim areas. 18

17. Preponderant ruling on marriage in general • Recommended and liked as the Quran and sunnah indicates in general. • Celibacy is hated, and does not increase faith/eman or spirituality. • Some scholars have said in case of sickness, where person has no sexual desire, marriage is not as recommended to a normal situation. • In conclusion, marriage depends on each individual's physical and psychical demand, and capability of fulfilling its needs. 18

18. Marriage conduct • Marriage conduct/ contract a special place in Islam • ميثاق غليظ • Unlike other contracts Islam obligated certain conditions • Wedding, party a must • Family participation • Family agreement • Gifts/ dowry • Shared life • A hard long processes to leave this contract • The contract has literal verbal words to be said. • This is a serious issue 18

19. Family support • Encouragement from family and friends • Help give advice, even if that includes telling the person about his faults. • قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: يا أبا ذر إنك ضعيف، وإنها أمانة • Search back ground • Make duaaروى البخاري ومسلم أن الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم دعى لجابر وقال: «بارك الله لك» • وقال لعلي: اللهم بارك فيهما وبارك لهما في بنهائهما» سنده حسن • روى الترمذي وأحمد وغيرهم أن الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم أن الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم كان إذا رفأ الإنسان (أي دعا له في زواجه) قال: بارك الله لك وبارك عليك، وجمع بينكما في خير» 18

20. What must be in a marriage contract • Consent from both sides • Waliy for the woman • Two witnesses • dowry 18

21. What marriage does necessarily have to have, therefore valid…. • Does not have to have a wedding, but must be announced. • Does not have to be in a masjid • Does not have to be done by the imam • Does not have to have paper work, but beware of these contracts women are the first victims 18