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FOCUS LESSON The Mall of America- You Can’t Tell It All Kathy Bumgardner kbumreading@yahoo

FOCUS LESSON The Mall of America- You Can’t Tell It All Kathy Bumgardner kbumreading@yahoo.com. The Mall of America…You Can’t Tell It ALL…. Writing Assignment. Tell about a time that you had fun with a friend or a relative. Write a story about a fun time with a friend or a relative.

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FOCUS LESSON The Mall of America- You Can’t Tell It All Kathy Bumgardner kbumreading@yahoo

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  1. FOCUS LESSON The Mall of America- You Can’t Tell It All Kathy Bumgardner kbumreading@yahoo.com kbumreading@yahoo.com

  2. The Mall of America…You Can’t Tell It ALL… kbumreading@yahoo.com

  3. Writing Assignment Tell about a time that you had fun with a friend or a relative. Write a story about a fun time with a friend or a relative. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  4. The girl began to think: • I have had many fun times. • What should I write about? • I think maybe my trip to see my friend Lauren last year. • But we did SO MANY fun things that long weekend! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  5. My teacher has told our class we should write about ONE MAIN EVENT. • I think I will write about our trip MALL of AMERICA when I was visiting Lauren….but that is still TOO BIG to focus on as one WOW Moment! We did a lot of stuff there. • What are the things we did at the Mall of America? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  6. The Mall of America: It is a really BIG place! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  7. We walked around and saw many wonderful stores and lots of people….I could write about one of those…OR… kbumreading@yahoo.com

  8. We even saw a live show with real singers and a band. It was cool. I could write about that….OR…. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  9. There was even an amusement park that was IN the mall! It was called Camp Snoopy and we spent almost 2 hours just in the park! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  10. In Camp Snoopy we saw a ferris wheel, some swings, the log flumes. We even went shopping in the SNOOPSHOP and bought some hats. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  11. But when we went up on this bridge in the park we could see all around. That's when we saw the roller coaster that went all the way around the park and way up into the air. WOW! We ran straight to get a ride on that coaster! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  12. The Mall of America: Things we did that were fun: • Went shopping in stores • Saw lots of people • Watched a real band on stage • Went into an amusement park inside of the mall called Camp Snoopy kbumreading@yahoo.com

  13. I liked Camp Snoopy…the amusement park… the best: • Shopped for hats in the Snoop Shop • Rode some great rides kbumreading@yahoo.com

  14. I can narrow it to the rides…. • Ferris Wheel • Swings • Log Flumes • Roller Coaster  kbumreading@yahoo.com

  15. That is it! I remembered the ROLLER COASTERRIDE. Wow….! That is something I could write my story about!! Roller Coaster kbumreading@yahoo.com

  16. I am going to write about the ride that Lauren and I took on that ROLLER COASTER at the Mall of America. That will make a great WOW (Seed Idea) Moment! I can put the ride into SLOW MOTIONREPLAY and show my readers why it was so much fun! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  17. MY FOCUS STATEMENT: My story is going to be about…. …the time that I had fun with my friend Lauren when we rode the roller coaster at the Mall of America… kbumreading@yahoo.com

  18. What did I see? • What did I hear? • What did I think? • What did I feel? • What was I saying to others? SLOW MOTION REPLAY Slow motion replay on the roller coaster….. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  19. Thinking About and Planning My Story: • Introduction: • Who: Lauren and me • What: a fun time on the roller coaster at Mall of America • When: Cold February • Where: Minnesota- Mall of America • Rising Actions: • Arrive at mall • Head to amusement park • See many rides including a huge roller coaster- goes around whole park kbumreading@yahoo.com

  20. MAIN EVENT: The Roller Coaster Ride • Getting on • Jerking forward • Zooming and screaming • Dark tunnel • Going up and down hills • Scared of falling out • Everyone scared • Lights blinking high up kbumreading@yahoo.com

  21. CLOSING ACTIONS: • Pull back in • We hop out • CONCLUSION: • We tell each other that we had fun • We go to next ride kbumreading@yahoo.com

  22. Introduction A time I had fun with a friend was when I went to Minneapolis, Minnesota on a chilly February morning to visit the great Mall of America. It all started one morning in the state of Minnesota. I was 10 years old and had come to visit one of my best friends Lauren. Lauren had moved with her family to Minnesota from Greensboro and I was happy to get to visit her again. That morning we decided to go to the huge Mall of America. We had quite a time! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  23. Rising Actions At about 11:00 we were out the door and almost there. When we arrived, I jumped out of the car and headed for the door. We went in and ran straight to the giant amusement park. It was a huge place, with huge rides! There was a ferris wheel, a roller coaster, a log flume, giant swings and much, much more! Of course I ran straight for the roller coaster. It was a huge roller coaster with steel green tracks that went swiftly around the whole park. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  24. Main Event When it was our turn to get on, Lauren and I hopped into the first seat. My mom and Lauren’s mom were right behind us. My heart was pounding as I awaited the ride.Then, all of a sudden the ride jerked us forward and off we were! We were zooming across the place with our arms in the air and screaming our head off! Boy were we speeding! We were going as fast as a speeding bullet! Suddenly, we were in a dark tunnel, with Paul Bunyan moving statues spinning all around us. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  25. Main Event (continued….) The roller coaster was going up a hill-like thing and then it started speeding downward again. Wow!I felt like I would fall off because the roller coaster was tipping in-ward pulling my body foward. I’m going to fall out I thought while terror gripped my stomach. My hands were clenching the slippery bar with excitement. Suddenly I felt wild and free as we raced down the gigantic tracks. “This is so much fun!” I screamed. No one else answered. I think they were frozen with fear. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  26. Main Event (continued….) In the blink of an eye we were on the other side of the amusement park passing by a store. Lights shone in our eyes as we squinted because they were as bright as the afternoon sun. We were above everything there and high in the air. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  27. Closing Actions When we pulled back into the place where you get on, we all hopped out. Lauren and I almost fell over as we stumbled together dizzily. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  28. Conclusion “That was so fun!” we both screamed with excitement as we hugged each other. Giggling, we skipped merrily over to the next ride. That was a time I had fun with a friend. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  29. Was this story focused? • Was there a beginning, a middle, and an end? Was the story complete? • Did most of the details and elaboration fit the story and help the reader “see” the story? • Did she choose interesting words that fit and use a variety of sentences? • Did she use mostly correct spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and complete sentences in this story? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  30. Parts of a narrative: • AN INTRODUCTION • RISING ACTIONS • MAIN EVENT • CLOSING ACTIONS • CONCLUSION • Did her Mall of America story have all of these? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  31. FEATURES of • GOOD WRITING • Focus • Organization • Support & Elaboration • Style • Conventions kbumreading@yahoo.com

  32. What else could I use to model narrowing down the FOCUS? How about a trip to Carowinds? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  33. A Trip to Carowinds • So much to tell about…. • Too much to write about…. Write about a Small Moment that you had at Carowinds: A special ride, winning a stuffed animal, finding a $100 dollar bill, getting lost, eating the best hot dog ever….. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  34. A time I had fun at Carowinds riding on TOP GUN….. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  35. Riding on the Vortex… kbumreading@yahoo.com

  36. Riding on the Rapids…. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  37. Stretching Out the WOW Moments…. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  38. Remember that when planning a narrative that you must be able to choose a topic that you can manage in that “Moment in time”. • It must be “narrow” enough to be able to focus on in one story. It should be focused on one “Moment in Time”…one WOW,SMALL Moment….one MAIN EVENT. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  39. What is a MAIN EVENT? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  40. What is a MAIN EVENT? *This is what a story is building up to. *The main event is what the story is really all about. *It is unfolded as the story is told. *It is the CENTRAL PROBLEM, CONFLICT, DILEMMA, or MAJOR PART OF THE ADVENTURE. *It may even be a STRUGGLE. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  41. The MAIN EVENT changes the main character in some way: *They will never forget it. *They have learned a lesson. *They have had a change of heart. *They have gained something new. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  42. The MAIN EVENT carries significance. *It is something worth writing about. *It is the major scene in a play. *It is the major part of a chapter. *It is that one vacation or field trip picture that highlights the best part of the whole trip. *It is that WOW moment in time frame by frame. *It is the “slow motion replay”…. kbumreading@yahoo.com

  43. A Main Event • Should Contain Some or • All of the Following: • ACTION-Whatare you doing? What is going on around you? Show your reader. • DESCRIPTION-Whatdoes it look like? What do you see? What do you smell? How does it feel to your skin? kbumreading@yahoo.com

  44. THOUGHTS / FEELINGS-What are you thinking? How are you feeling? DIALOGUE-What are you saying? What are others saying? (Caution: Do not list… “he said…I said…he said…” ) Use conversation strategically! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  45. Spicing Up My Writing Style kbumreading@yahoo.com

  46. Above all…. Remember to STAY FOCUSED !!! kbumreading@yahoo.com

  47. What’s the MAIN EVENT? • Trip to Disney World or The Scary Roller Coaster Ride? • Fun at the Beach orFinding a Special Shell? • The Best Field Day Ever or Winning the Tug of War Event with My Class • My Favorite Christmas ora Surprise Bike for Christmas kbumreading@yahoo.com

  48. Remember….that when planning to write to a prompt that you should choose a topic and plan your story so that you can: • FOCUS on a whole story • ORGANIZEwith a beginning, middle, and end • SUPPORT and ELABORATEwith details that help your reader SEE your story….bring your story to life! • Add STYLE- wise word choice/variety • Use correct CONVENTIONS kbumreading@yahoo.com

  49. Happy Writing ! kbumreading@yahoo.com

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