Of Mice and Men FP Narrative

Write a story ending with the words: ‘So there I was – no money, no friends and no where to go.’ The character I am going to write as is ……………………………. Of Mice and Men FP Narrative http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GJIDR9J5eg

Outcomes: • B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised, accurate throughout. • C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different sentences, well chosen words and description. My story is organised, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately. • D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story.

Skill: commas Section 1: Setting The dustbowl has left the land dry, dusty and bare. Life has been difficult and I’ve never seen son many men drifting in and out of town. We give work were we can but at times, my father and I have to turn them away. The ranch, which sits overlooking the Salinas Valley, just outside Soledad, has been in the family for generations. Bucking barely and tending the fields to produce crops is what the Jones’ family do best. I often like to sit on the porch and watch the hares bounding through the crops, foxes waiting to pounce on their prey. During the day, it becomes so hot, it becomes laborious to work here. To add to my woes is my new wife, Sandy, who never seems to be around. Highlight all the commas and the good words you can find in this passage.

Skill: commas Section 1: Setting The dustbowl has left the land dry, dusty and bare. Life has been difficult and I’ve never seen son many men drifting in and out of town. We give work were we can but at times, my father and I have to turn them away. The ranch, which sits overlooking the Salinas Valley, just outside Soledad, has been in the family for generations. Bucking barely and tending the fields to produce crops is what the Jones’ family do best. I often like to sit on the porch and watch the hares bounding through the crops, foxes waiting to pounce on their prey. During the day, it becomes so hot, it becomes laborious to work here. To add to my woes is my new wife, Sandy, who never seems to be around. Highlight all the commas and the good words you can find in this passage. Your turn – write the opening paragraph to your own story featuring you as your chosen character. You must include commas and good vocabulary. You need to write about 150 words.

Skill: Semi ColonsSection 2: Character I have been living in the shadow of my father for many years. The men on the ranch don’t take me seriously. They taunt me; talk about me behind my back; and curse my wife. Boxing has been my only salvation. Growing up I was forced to take care of myself; I had no brothers to defend me or to watch my back. Once my mother died, from a long drawn out illness, I had no choice. I needed to toughen up to help me survive the beatings father used to give. He didn’t mean to hurt me, it was just his way. I guess that’s why I don’t like big guys. I wish Sandy didn’t like be guys either. Highlight all the semi colons and good words in this extract. Can you work out the two ways you can use a semi colon? Write two sentence below with semi colons in them. Example 1 Example 2

Semi Colons • Can be used in a list of phrases and before and Curley was a fierce boxer; bully to his wife; and abusive to the men on the ranch. 2. Can be used to join two short sentences that have linked ideas Curley’s wife was lonely. She had nobody to talk to. Curley’s wife was lonely;she had nobody to talk to.

Self Assess • Highlight/ underline all the good effective and impressive words you have chosen. • Highlight/ underline the semi colons you have used. • Check your work is accurate and makes sense: Spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Feedback WWW: Most of You able to use ; and , in your writing EBI: more impressive vocabulary to make descriptions and writing more interesting.

Pick out an effective description

Find a good adjective (describing word)

Pick out an effective description and a good adjective (describing word)

UPGRADE YOUR WORDS

EXTENSION LOOK UP THESE WORDS ANDWRITE A DEFINITION IN YOUR OWN WORDS.

Find 8 new adjectives that you think you could use somewhere in your story so far. Write them in the margin of you book IN RED and draw an arrow to the words you are replacing.

Outcomes: • B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings. • C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different sentences, well chosen words and description. My story is organised, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately. • D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story.

SKILL: Words and descriptionSECTION 3:Building to the Main Event One afternoon, after I returned from Suzie's place (I like to have drink or two to unwind), I found that Sandy was not at home. Again. Ambling over to the bunk house I resolved to find her; she was probably with Slim. He was like a prince to the others. God damn wound me up the way he paraded around the ranch with that Stetson under his arm as if he owned the place. With an intake of breath I swung open the door to find the new guys playing solitaire and Slim conversing with Carlson over a tin of what smelt like hard whiskey. Before I even spoke, the big fella smirked in my direction. Fury began to coarse through my veins; I could feel my temples pulsing with anger. Who did he think he was to scoff at me? Him and his shrewd guardian, feet well and truly under my father’s table. The big guy’s stupidity and foolishness drove me to distraction! Rolling up my sleeves I stormed across to the table with the intention of confronting him. Read the next part of my story as Curley and highlight effective descriptions and good words.

SKILL: Sentence Openings Rewrite the following sentences in two different ways. Example: The woman slowly opened the door to the dark cellar. COULD BE Slowly, the woman, who was now terrified, opened the door to the dark cellar. OR The door to the dark cellar creaked as it was slowly opened by the woman. • The soldiers cowered in the damp trenches, fear written on their faces. • The spaceship hurtled towards the burning planet, spinning out of control. • Nervously, the young man approached the beautiful model. • Tired from his adventures, Terrence retreated into his shell. • Roaring like an express train, the snow charged down the mountain. • She glanced behind her, convinced she had heard footsteps.

Savage Porcupines Can Always Annoy People

You must start your sentences in different ways to show skill and variety. This makes your writing more interesting to read. 1. The subject The man walked down the street. 2. A participle (-ing or –ed word) Walking up the street, he tripped. Worried about tripping, he bumped into his wife. 3. A conjunction As he walked, he whistled. 4. An adverb Joyfully he skipped up the street. 5. An adjective Angry at the world, he stalked off. 6. A phrase At the top of the road, he paused.

Review: Go back through your story so far and draw a little porcupine in the margin where you have used these sentences. If you haven’t used these types of sentence anywhere then tweak your work to include them

Skill: Sentence OpeningsSection 3: Main Event The new guy was a huge fella. Towering over me like a big dumb bear, I locked eyes on him, “what you gawping at?” I demanded. “Let him be.” said the small guy; his words were laced with concern. “You don’t speak for him!” I was becoming increasingly frustrated. “I’ll ask you again, what you gawping at?” The big guy looked astonished and uncertain what to do. Raising my fists I was caught off guard; unprepared when the big guy lunged at me like crazed loon. “Get off, get off!” I bawled but the weight of the giant began to crush me. Ferociously, he seized my hand. Pain seared through my fingers, spread up my arm and into my shoulder. Twisting and burning, I convulsed in pain as I felt my bones crack. As I dropped to my knees, Carlson and George managed to drag that thug from me. At that moment, I knew I had to get out of there.Angry and humiliated I tried to retreat from the barn but Slim stepped in the doorway, blocking my escape route. HIGHLIGHT and LABEL: savage porcupines can always annoy people

You must start your sentences in different ways to show skill and variety. This makes your writing more interesting to read. Highlight at least four different ways to use in your own story. Choose ones you think you can use successfully. The subject (usually a noun) The man walked down the street. A participle (-ing or –ed word) Walking up the street, he tripped. Worried about tripping, he bumped into his wife. A conjunction (connective) As he walked, he whistled. An adverb (describes a verb) Joyfully he skipped up the street. An adjective (describing word) Angry at the world, he stalked off. A phrase At the top of the road, he paused.

Skill: Sentence OpeningsSection 4: Main Event The new guy was a huge fella. Towering over me like a big dumb bear, I locked eyes on him, “what you gawping at?” I demanded. “Let him be.” said the small guy; his words were laced with concern. “You don’t speak for him!” I was becoming increasingly frustrated. “I’ll ask you again, what you gawping at?” The big guy looked astonished and uncertain what to do. Irritated by his lack of response, I wasn’t going to give him a third chance. Raising my fists I was caught off guard; unprepared when the big guy lunged at me like crazed loon. “Get off, get off!” I bawled but the weight of the giant began to crush me. Ferociously, he seized my hand. Pain seared through my fingers, spread up my arm and into my shoulder. Twisting and burning, I convulsed as I felt my bones crack. As I dropped to my knees, Carlson and George managed to drag that thug from me. At that moment, I knew I had to get out of there.Angry and humiliated I tried to retreat from the barn but Slim stepped in the doorway, blocking my escape route.

Outcomes: • B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised skilfully and effectively, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings and sentences lengths for effect. • C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different length sentences well chosen words and description. My story is organised effectively, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately. • D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story. I can write using some different sentences.

Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left. He darted left. I lunged right. He lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger. He prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper. That was all it took. I got the message. These passages are virtually the same. Decide what the difference is between the passages. Which build tension more effectively and why? Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left and he darted left. I lunged right then he lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger to me and he prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper was all it took for me to get the message.

Skill: Simple sentences for effect and echoing.Section: Ending Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left. He darted left. I lunged right. He lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger. He prodded my chest.He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper. That was all it took. I got the message. Slim moved away from the exit of the barn and I scampered like a terrier to a place of safety. The porch. I sat for a moment or two to let Slim’s words sink in. A hare was bounding through the crops; a fox ready to pounce. Just as I had been ready to pounce on George in the barn. This was the first time I had felt it; shame. It had been a hot day and as I contemplated Slim’s warning, I realised that I was still no closer to tracking down my elusive Sandy. Nowhere to be seen; it was now apparent that she was the least of my woes. Already unpopular, I had made more enemies in the bunkhouse. I had to watch my back. • Highlight/ underline all the simple sentences in my ending. • Look back at the beginning of my story and write down what you think echoing is? Echoing is when ...

Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left. He darted left. I lunged right. He lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger. He prodded my chest.He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper. That was all it took. I got the message. Slim moved away from the exit of the barn and I scampered like a terrier to a place of safety. The porch. I sat for a moment or two to let Slim’s words sink in. A hare was bounding through the crops; a fox ready to pounce. Just as I had been ready to pounce on George in the barn. This was the first time I had felt it; shame. It had been a hot day and I as I contemplated Slim’s warning, I realised that I was still no closer to tracking down my elusive Sandy. Nowhere to be seen; it was now apparent that she was the least of my woes. Already unpopular, I had made more enemies in the bunkhouse. I had to watch my back. Echoing: If you look back at section one of my story –the setting – what do you notice when you compare it with the ending?

Outcomes: • B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised skilfully and effectively, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings and sentences lengths for effect. • C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different length sentences well chosen words and description. My story is organised effectively, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately. • D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story. I can write using some different sentences.

Self Assess • Proof read your work to check it makes sense. • Highlight where you have used simple sentences for effect and to control the reader. • Highlight any details you have used which ‘echo’ your setting. Don’t forget you should have included the other skills we have covered (, ; vocabulary, openings)

Revision Starter Copy and complete the table:

Today… • Stick in sheets (in order) • Look at each section and make sure it is complete: Setting, Character, Building to Main Action, Main Action and Ending. • Across your whole story, highlight the skills we have covered: • Commas • Semi colons • Vocab • Sentences openings • Simple sentences for effect/ echoing 4. Lined paper from the front – begin writing up your story in best. You can alter and improve your story to include more skills and details.

Homework Planners Out: Finish writing up story in neat on A4 paper for hand in on Monday No Excuses!

Checklist Throughout my story I need to use: • Commas • Semi colons • Vocab • Sentences openings • Simple sentences for effect/ echoing WWW: EBI:

Preparing for our CA • You have done a great job so far! • You have been practicing all the skills you need • You need to know your stories really well • You need to revise your stories and your skills for the writing assessment • You need to transfer details and words onto a planning triangle

Skills Revision • Commas Write down 3 sentences from your story that use commas. • Semi colons Write down 3 sentences from your story that use semi colons • Vocabulary Write down 3 sentences with impressive vocabulary from your story • Sentences openings Write down 3 sentences with different openings from your story • Simple sentences for effect Write down 3 effective simple sentences from your story

CHALLENGE We have been very clever using OMAM to inspire our writing this half term. However the exam board states that your writing assessment stories need to have a particular title. We must choose from: (a) Write about a time when you were ashamed of yourself. (b) Write a story ending with the words: ‘So there I was – no money, no friends and no where to go.’ (c) Write a story about a time when you managed to do something for the first time. Think about your story, select a task that you could tweak your story to match. We’ve got to keep Mr Gove happy and prove we aren’t daft!

Planning Triangle MainEvent Build to Main Action Middle Character Semi Colons Commas Sentence Openings Simple Sentences Echoing Words and Description ASOSMAP –adjectives, adverbs, similes, senses, onomatopoeia, sentences (lengths and structures), metaphor, alliteration, punctuation and paragraphs. Setting Dustbowl men drifting The ranch Salinas Valley, Soledad Bucking barely tending sit on the porch watch the hares foxes waiting Hot and laborious new wife, Sandy Ending End Beginning

Instructions... • Label beginning, middle and end on your triangle. • Give your triangle your chosen task as a title. • Write down all the skills you need to show in your writing, in the middle of the triangle. • Plot the sections (setting etc) around the outside of your triangle in RED. • Now jot down brief details, key words and vocabulary around the outside to help you remember your story. WORKING INDEPENDENTLY

Of Mice and Men FP Narrative

Of Mice and Men FP Narrative

Presentation Transcript

Of Mice and men

Of Mice and Men..

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men:

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

“Of Mice and Men”

Of mice and men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

OF MICE AND MEN.

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

“Of Mice and Men”

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men