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Mercy College Parent Council

Mercy College Parent Council. “Our home would be better if the kids did what I said ”! Monday 9 th June 2008. What will we be doing?. Conflict Power struggles Parent responses to conflict Support for us as parents. What does conflict look like?.

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Mercy College Parent Council

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  1. Mercy College Parent Council “Our home would be better if the kids did what I said”! Monday 9th June 2008

  2. What will we be doing? • Conflict • Power struggles • Parent responses to conflict • Support for us as parents

  3. What does conflict look like? • What are the signals that your son/daughter give to show they are unhappy, upset, troubled? • What behaviours do your children do that really push your buttons • How do you feel when these behaviours happen?

  4. Power Struggles • Parent and child want the same thing • Recognise the conflict and what is at stake • Ignore the hook and become a second-to-last-word person • Model the values and behaviours you want to see • Use PEP • Avoid sarcasm • LAAD • Use humour (Mendler, Mendler, Curwin, 2008)

  5. LAAD • Listen: Hear what your son/daughter is saying, not how they are saying it • Acknowledge: Let your son/daughter know in a firm voice but non critical way that you hear them • Agree: Let your son/daughter know that what they are saying is or might be true • Defer: Let your son/daughter know you will discuss this at a later time (Mendler, Mendler, Curwin, 2008)

  6. LAAD in action • Write down one behaviour that your son/daughter does that pushes your buttons (i.e. you want to fight back) __________________________ Strategies • Listening _______________________________ • Acknowledging __________________________ • Agreeing _______________________________ • Deferring _______________________________ (Mendler, Mendler, Curwin, 2008)

  7. Take care of yourself • Develop a support network • Stress release strategies • Journal • Make yourself laugh • Knowledge, reflection & time

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