1 / 20

♥ MICROSOFT OFFICE ROMANCE ♥ A Short Primer On How You Should Probably Not Use PowerPoint

♥ MICROSOFT OFFICE ROMANCE ♥ A Short Primer On How You Should Probably Not Use PowerPoint. The Setup. Me! The internet! A girl!. Wait, what?. Romance! … Romance? … Confusion!. A Brilliant Idea. Lightbulb!. YOU NEED IT (and we’re about to tell you why ).

lilika
Download Presentation

♥ MICROSOFT OFFICE ROMANCE ♥ A Short Primer On How You Should Probably Not Use PowerPoint

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. ♥ MICROSOFT OFFICE ROMANCE ♥ A Short Primer On How You Should Probably Not Use PowerPoint

  2. The Setup • Me! • The internet! • A girl!

  3. Wait, what? • Romance! • …Romance? • … • Confusion!

  4. A Brilliant Idea Lightbulb!

  5. YOU NEED IT(and we’re about to tell you why) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08)

  6. Overview • Market research: opening for dating • Scientific tests*: compatible! • Telltale signs you’re in the market: • Of marriageable age! • Not barefoot and pregnant! • Spotted regularly outside of kitchen! • CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU *: OKCupid: not actually scientific

  7. Recent study on single women Don’t let this be you!

  8. Introducing Jason: Convenient! • Located nearby: gas-efficient! • 24/7 roadside assistance! • Fast internet with just your phone!

  9. Convenience (ctd) • Proxy shopper! • Chauffeur! • Kills spiders dead! BUT WAIT -- THERE’S MORE!!

  10. Fashion • Cold? Take his jacket! • Hot? He’ll help you disrobe! • Never out of season

  11. Fashion (ctd) • Comes with closet space, perfect for: • Handbags • Skeletons • Hiding from the po-po

  12. Manual labor • Bury those corpses down low! • Get that peanut butter up high! • Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE!

  13. Manual labor (ctd) • Picks up heavy things! • Tired? Piggyback ride! • Too bumpy? Rickshaw!

  14. Furnishings • Pillow! • Footrest! • Blanket! • Folds up for easy storage! PLEASE NOTE: Due to liability issues, the Jason™ doormat functionality has removed from 07-08 version.

  15. Testimonials • “I beta-tested Jason for several years in college -- high marks!” • College sweetheart • “A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN” • Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller • “He’s really a very special boy.” • Jason’s mom • “Disease-free and housebroken.” • Jason’s college diploma

  16. Security • Human shield! • Emergency rations! • Patsy for over 50 felonies!

  17. Reactions (friends) • Mom: “I’m glad there’s no more doormat functionality.” • Dad: “I might’ve done without the part about dead babies.” • Ex: “You’re insane.” • Friend: “I would f**k you for hours if you did that for me.” (this was a lie)

  18. Moment of Truth

  19. Her Reaction • Damn you, Shigeru Miyamoto

  20. Not the End

More Related