Agape LOVE = God

1. This creates a massive problem for us because selfishness is lethal to everything it touches, every relationship, and since we cannot often see it, we have no idea why our relationships suffer and die. So far we have learned that the absolute key to living is to function according to our God-designed pattern, where He is the core of our unconditional agape love, which becomes the purpose for existing and the interpreter of all data we encounter. That means that each of us must recognize our problem and ask the Lord to heal us so that we can become HEALING agents in our relationships rather than problems in them. The problem that we all have is that we are so ensconced in the mire of self, that we often cannot even see it, and have no idea what is destroying us. We think people are our enemies.

2. Everything tethered to man is in a constant state of decline. Things associated to God like the Bible, forests and deserts continue to thrive. Things that men do begin, have their success and then decline and die because what men do is generally self-centered and self-serving.

3. Wouldn’t you say that 100% of our relationship problems comes from trying to bend issues according to our desires rather than working with God in what He is trying to accomplish in the issue in the first place? Let’s review our graphic and then try some test illustrations to see if we have learned the two ways of looking at and interpreting what is really going on around us and how to engage it rather than trying to fight it.

4. Remember that philos love is designed to come out of agape love, which drives philos love and provides its components and function. Philos Love Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Intimate communion Kindness Not jealous Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Preferring others

5. Notice that godly philos love will always come out of agape love and always be unconditional even though it is reciprocal. When philos love is corrupted by a self-seeking conditional love which is a failure in the core, then all relationships are subordinated to the service of self and are sacrificed to the pleasure of self. If we want to live well and enjoyably while on planet earth, we are going to have to learn how to distinguish between love that is corrupt and self-seeking, and love that is healthy and other-giving. If we don’t learn the distinction we will live and love parasitically, selfishly feeding upon those that we should be nourishing and nurturing. I’m saying this because I want you to see how the character of philos love reflects its source. Characteristics like jealousy, manipulation or control indicate a self-serving core, which is helpful in diagnosing internal selfishness rather than allowing it to hide itself by blaming others. Philos Love Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Intimate communion Kindness Not jealous Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Preferring others

6. Eros love, when driven by agape love, is holy and healing. Eros Love Philos Love Unity Peace Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Joy Intimate communion Self Sacrifice Kindness Not jealous Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Security Devotion Preferring others Belonging Faithfulness Deep satisfaction

7. To a wife - This total satisfaction allows God’s people to give their lives to others who are absolutely famished. Eros Love Wife Philos Love Unity Peace Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Joy Intimate communion Self Sacrifice Kindness Not jealous Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Security Devotion Preferring others Belonging Faithfulness Deep satisfaction

8. To a child - Eros Love Wife Philos Love Unity Child Peace Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Joy Intimate communion Self Sacrifice Kindness Not jealous Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Security Devotion Preferring others Belonging Faithfulness Deep satisfaction

9. To a neighbor or coworker - Eros Love Wife Philos Love Unity Child Peace Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Joy Intimate communion Self Sacrifice Kindness Not jealous Neighbor Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Security Devotion Preferring others Belonging Faithfulness Deep satisfaction

10. How is this perfect and amazingly satisfying system destroyed by us? This is the perfect design and perfect way to live, but that is not how we commonly live, is it? And, like Jesus, even to an adversary! Eros Love Wife Philos Love Unity Child Peace Pure friendship Self-sacrifice Joy Intimate communion Self Sacrifice Kindness Not jealous Neighbor Agape LOVE = God Not provoked Security Peace Patience Forgiving Security Devotion Preferring others Belonging Faithfulness Deep satisfaction Adversary

11. When Adam and Eve sinned, they ejected God as the source of their love as well as the drive for all they thought and did, and replaced God with the SELF who became the new god. With SELF as the cause, purpose and origin for all thought, values and action, the quality and potential of life is immediately decimated. Insecurity Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God SELF LOVE = god Emptiness BLAME

12. With philos love being controlled by SELF, all of the thoughts and actions of that love will also have to serve SELF which will produce: Remember also that we are created in God’s image, designed to be directed by His love in all of our choices and interaction with Him and others. With the core of life now totally dedicated exclusively to the SELF, notice how it affects the next level of love. We would do well to understand that when God is not at the core, operating our being, we are at the service of an implacable, self-serving monster that will destroy everything around us. Philos Love jealousy manipulation control Insecurity conflict Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God heresy SELF LOVE = god division Emptiness Idolatry BLAME alcohol abuse sensuality

13. If self-love, rather than agape love is interpreting what is going on around us, then failures and disappointments will all be blamed on others rather than where it belongs – SELF. This is important because if we are driven by selfishness, we will be blinded from seeing it. Philos Love jealousy manipulation control Insecurity conflict Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God heresy SELF LOVE = god division Emptiness Idolatry BLAME alcohol abuse sensuality

14. Let’s use our chart and see if we can trace our way through the manifestations of philos love to the cause. A husband has an opportunity to advance in his work resulting in a considerable increase in pay. His wife complains that he is gone too much, is always tired and she said she says she sees no purpose for their marriage and is considering divorce. With these attributes visible, let’s consider some scenarios and see if we can identify the fruit and the origin accurately. Philos Love jealousy manipulation control Insecurity conflict Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God heresy SELF LOVE = god division Emptiness Idolatry BLAME alcohol abuse sensuality

15. The most obvious is that she is experiencing conflict with her husband, and is perhaps using manipulation to get him to do what she wants. She probably made an idol of her husband because she cannot function without him even though she knows he is working to give her a better financial living. Let’s start with the wife. What is wrong? Philos Love jealousy manipulation control Insecurity conflict Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God heresy SELF LOVE = god division Emptiness Idolatry BLAME alcohol abuse sensuality

16. He is trusting in his own ability to achieve something that will please his wife and give him more value and appreciation in her eyes. What about the husband? Philos Love jealousy manipulation control Insecurity conflict Frustration Anger Agape LOVE = God heresy SELF LOVE = god division Emptiness Idolatry BLAME alcohol abuse sensuality