1 / 13

YOU NEED IT (and we’re about to tell you why )

YOU NEED IT (and we’re about to tell you why ). Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08). Overview. Market research: opening for dating Scientific tests*: compatible! Telltale signs you’re in the market: Of marriageable age!

nhu
Download Presentation

YOU NEED IT (and we’re about to tell you why )

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. YOU NEED IT(and we’re about to tell you why) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08)

  2. Overview • Market research: opening for dating • Scientific tests*: compatible! • Telltale signs you’re in the market: • Of marriageable age! • Not barefoot and pregnant! • Spotted regularly outside of kitchen! • CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU *: OKCupid: not actually scientific

  3. Recent study on single women Don’t let this be you!

  4. Introducing Jason: Convenient! • Located nearby: gas-efficient! • 24/7 roadside assistance! • Fast internet with just your phone!

  5. Convenience (ctd) • Proxy shopper! • Chauffeur! • Kills spiders dead! BUT WAIT -- THERE’S MORE!!

  6. Fashion • Cold? Take his jacket! • Hot? He’ll help you disrobe! • Never out of season

  7. Fashion (ctd) • Comes with closet space, perfect for: • Handbags • Skeletons • Hiding from the po-po

  8. Manual labor • Bury those corpses down low! • Get that peanut butter up high! • Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE!

  9. Manual labor (ctd) • Picks up heavy things! • Tired? Piggyback ride! • Too bumpy? Rickshaw!

  10. Furnishings • Pillow! • Footrest! • Blanket! • Folds up for easy storage! PLEASE NOTE: Due to liability issues, the Jason™ doormat functionality has removed from 07-08 version.

  11. Testimonials • “I beta-tested Jason for several years in college -- high marks!” • College sweetheart • “A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN” • Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller • “He’s really a very special boy.” • Jason’s mom • “Disease-free and housebroken.” • Jason’s college diploma

  12. Security • Human shield! • Emergency rations! • Patsy for over 50 felonies!

  13. Conclusion • Pretty please with sugar on top • And a cherry • I’ll be your best friend • You can even read my comics • Aw, c’mon • I really need this sale • Can’t you just help me out here? • I’d do it for you

More Related