Helping our pupils cope with stress and anxiety during exam stress

1. Helping our pupils cope with stress and anxiety during exam stress A parents guide

2. Outcomes of the session LO1 : To identify what stress is and why it might arise in our pupils. LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time.

3. What is stress? Stress is a natural process. We are designed to cope and survive in a world that is very different to the one we live in today. Stress is the body’s way of coping with a threat and it is a very natural reaction of the nervous system to protect itself from a real or imagined attack what is called ‘fight or flight’. If our senses detect a threat a particular part of the brain, the amygdala, sends messages to different parts of our bodies preparing us to run away or stand up to the threat. Adrenaline is released and if it goes unused the result is stress. Stress can be caused by many things by physical factors like pollution, extreme temperatures or injury or by psychological factors such as having an argument at home or studying for exams! A growing number of students are seeking counselling because of exam stress, according to the children’s charity Childline. The charity said that it had provided 3,135 counselling sessions over the last year, helping pupils to cope with exam pressure. This is the equivalent to almost nine a day. (2017) Unfortunately there is no magic wand that will remove the impact of stress on your life. Controlling stress is an active process which means that you will have to take steps to limit its impact.

4. LO1 : To identify what stress is and why it might arise in our pupils. What does stress and anxiety look like?

5. LO1 : To identify what stress is and why it might arise in our pupils. From where does this EXAM STRESS come? • Pressure for getting good marks • High expectations of parents/teachers/self • Competitiveness • Comparison with others • Fear of being left out alone • Fear of rejections • Fear of being ridiculed by parents, siblings, friends, teachers, other family members

6. LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. The Coping Cycle There are 5 stages to the coping cycle that our pupils will be going through. Successful coping is seen to be instrumental in maintaining well being and achieving high performance in stressful situations (O’Driscoll and Cooper, 1994).

7. The 5 stages of the Coping Cycle LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. Stage 1: Denial – Pupils will deny that they have any revision/school work to do. ‘I don’t want to do that work, I didn’t need to last year and I passed’ ‘In …….. class we don’t do that and I’m still doing well.’ These phrases are clear signs of denial – that the pupil doesn’t want to do the work that they should be doing. In reality in these other classes they are not passing. Stage 2: Defence – For our pupils this can come in the form of the defending how they have always revised and this doesn’t need to change or the reality that a change is needed in the way that the pupils work. The idea that they must face up to these ‘new tasks’ i.e. a lot of revision might push pupils into this stage. They will become defensive about school work and how much they are doing. Stage 3: Discarding – The previous stages have focussed on the past. This stage is where our pupils will begin to let go of the past and start looking towards the future. We do not know how this happens. We know that support can be helpful, whether it be from school and/or home the opportunity to ‘revise’ presents itself more readily – especially as more of their peers are now probably revising. Also, revision will be about to start at school so the future of the exams is not as forbidding as it first seems. Self-esteem is increased through open conversations with teachers/peers/parents/siblings and the stressful situation can be lessened.

8. The 5 stages of the Coping Cycle LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. Stage 4: Adaptation – This is where resilience comes in! Pupils will be trying new strategies for revision, recapping old notes from Year 10, and rarely, does a new system work first time, it takes practice – but it’s the pupils adaptation to these changes and frustrations that will help them cope with the system of revision. Stage 5: Internalisation– Revision is becoming successful! The exams are drawing closer but results in class suggest that the pupils are improving/becoming consistent – as a result of the revision! This should reduce the stressful situation.

9. LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. Coaching Methods As a parent, you can play a key role in helping pupils to cope with this extremely stressful time. By doing this, you'll help them make better decisions, solve problems that are holding them back, learn new skills, and otherwise progress in their lives…helping them overcome what is going to be the one of the most stressful situations they will face. The GROW model is one of the easiest frameworks to help pupils move from a stressful, unstructured situation to a situation where they can move forwards clearly and with ease. GROW stands for: Goal. Current Reality. Options (or Obstacles). Will (or Way Forward).

10. LO2: To examine strategies for coping with stress. The Key to Grow The key to using GROW successfully is first to spend sufficient time exploring ‘G’ until the pupil sets a goal which is both inspirational and stretching for them, and then to move flexibly through the sequence, according to your intuition, including revisiting the goal if needed. It does not matter if you are not an expert at the subjects because you are an expert in your child and will be able to facilitate them in their conversations to move forward.

12. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time. Mindfulness and Wellbeing Managing Stress Reactions There are three managing stress reactions: • Breathing • Thinking • Doing The next few slides explain how these can be helpful and which one or more may work best for your child.

13. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time. Breathing Breathing is Nature’s Tranquilizer! It depends which way of breathing works for you. Some people prefer short sharp breaths to calm themselves down while others prefer longer periods of breathing. One popular technique is Abdominal Breathing. This is when you breathe and your stomach rises instead of your chest. When this happens your lungs are expanding your diaphragm instead of your rib cage. When you practise abdominal breathing it slows down your breathing rate and this helps to relax your whole body. The process is as follows: • Put one hand on your chest and one on your stomach and take a long slow breath in. • As you inhale, focus on your stomach rising up and your chest staying still, then slowly breathe out. • Repeat the process for another five breaths. At first, abdominal breathing can be difficult, but with practise you can learn to naturally breathe this way. Abdominal breathing is used by athletes prior to a competition and by singers during a performance.

14. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time. Thinking Monitor your thoughts. Are they helping? Possible thoughts are: • I can do this. • I have done enough, I am ok. • I can go in there and give it my best shot. • In three hours it will be finished and I will have tried my best. • It is only one exam. Thinking positively and not negatively will help! Encourage your child to think about the positives and what they have achieved in each revision session/lesson/exam

15. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time. Doing Fitting in time to relax is important in achieving good results in exams and doing some sort of exercise definitely helps. You could do the following: • Go to the gym • Go out a cycle or a run • Go out a nice brisk walk • Or if in doubt 20 star jumps as fast as you can!

16. Once you've done an exam, try to forget about it. There's nothing you can do about it, and worrying won't change your mark Top Tips Exam success doesn't define a person. Everyone copes differently in different situations and there's so much more to your personality than how well you can respond to an exam. Picture your exams as a time-bound project. Are the exams 60 days away? That's your 60-day challenge. Best of all, there's a definite end point Break your revision down into small chunks, and form a plan. Once you've got a plan, you won't have any more dilemmas at the start of the day about what to work on. Take frequent breaks. Psychologists say we can only concentrate properly for 30-45 minutes. You could use a technique like Pomodoro, that helps you to take regular breaks. When you do take a break make sure you don’t stay at your desk, you could go for a walk or even just make a cup of tea! Don't be put off by friends saying that they are doing huge amounts of revision. As already mentioned, that's probably not actually a productive or efficient way of working long term. One of the key reasons people feel exam stress is due to comparing themselves to other people

17. LO3: To evaluate how, as parents, you can help support your child during exam time. What can I do as a parent to help? • Have an open communication with your child – talk to them about revision/school. • Listen attentively without interrupting. • Understand their fears and concerns. • Appreciate, acknowledge and motivate. • Catch them doing the right things and tell them. • Help them stick to their revision timetable. • Be there  For any questions that may arise please contact me at barkerm@ianramsey.org.uk