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Divorce Effects on Children

Divorce Effects on Children. By: Gina Bailey November 22, 2009. Essential Question -What are the effects of divorce on children?. Discussion Points *What are some of the emotions children express during a divorce? *What are some ways parents can help children cope with divorce?. Emotions.

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Divorce Effects on Children

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  1. DivorceEffects onChildren By: Gina Bailey November 22, 2009

  2. Essential Question-What are the effects of divorce on children? • Discussion Points *What are some of the emotions children express during a divorce? *What are some ways parents can help children cope with divorce?

  3. Emotions • During a divorce, children feel many different emotions. Some of these emotions are expressed, and some are harder to see. • Some emotions vary depending on the age of the child.

  4. Infant-Preschool Aged • Infants, obviously too young to understand, still pick up on increased stress and negativity between their parents. • Babies may spit up more and have more upset stomachs. • Preschoolers find divorce overwhelming (Brentano). • Their anxiety over the divorce could manifest in behaviors such as babbled speech and bedwetting (Kaslow). • Many preschoolers remain hopeful that the divorce is only temporary, and gets more and more upset the longer one of their parents is absent from their home setting.

  5. School Aged Children (6-11 years old) • School aged children are very affected by their father’s absence (Brentano). • They feel powerless, which causes great anxiety. • Shame is a common feeling among this age. They are embarrassed by their parent’s divorce (Salk). • Grades begin to suffer because focus has shifted from school to the divorce (Amato).

  6. Young Adolescents (11-15 years old) • This age feels they have been pushed into maturity much faster than their peers (Brentano). • Younger adolescents feel rejected and lonely. • Sometimes, in an effort to cope, this age turns to alcohol and drugs (Salk).

  7. Older Adolescents (15-18 years old) • They do feel insecure when they begin to form relationships of their own (Brentano). • More likely to commit acts of vandalism. • The primary emotion in this age group is anger directed towards their parents (Grossman).

  8. How Can Parents Help? Talk to Your Children -Discuss the divorce with your children and see if they have any questions. -Give lots of hugs and kisses. -Remind your child daily that they are very important to you, and that you love them no matter what. -Reassure them that everything will turn out okay (Kmep).

  9. How Can Parents Help? Listen to Your Children -Give your children ample opportunities to express their feelings towards the divorce. -Allow them to give honest answers. -Keep an open mind -Give them creative ways to express their feelings, such as drawing, painting, or role playing (Kmep).

  10. How Can Parents Help? Keep Your Children Involved • Keep your child’s routine as normal as possible. • Make time to have their friends over, or allow them to have play time at their friends house. • Make visits with relatives and family. • Get them involved in sports or dance classes or other group activities to avoid them feeling depressed due to the divorce.

  11. How Can Parents Help? Counseling - Do not rule out the possibility of bringing your child to a counselor. Sometimes children find it easier to talk to someone who is not directly involved in the divorce. Many counselors are specially trained to help children learn coping strategies to better handle the divorce (Salk).

  12. References Amato, Paul R. “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children.” Journal of Marriage and Family 62 (2000): 1269-1287. Jstor. Web. 22 Nov. 2009. Brentano, Cornelia, and Alison Clarke-Stewart. “Effects of Divorce on Children.” Divorce: Causes and Consequences(Current Perspectives in Psychology). New Haven: Yale University Press, 2007. 106-130. Print Grossman, Tracy Barr. “The Children’s Responses.” Mothers and Children Facing Divorce (Research in Clinical Psychology). Ann Arbor, Michigan : Umi Research Press, 1986. 79-104. Print. Kaslow, Florence W. and Lita Linzer Schwartz. “Effects of Divorce on the Children.” Painful Partings: Divorce and Its Aftermath. Canada: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1997. 174-204. Print.

  13. References Kmep, Gina, and Jeanee Segal. "Children and Divorce." HelpGuide.org. Jan 2009. HelpGuide.org, Web. 22 Nov 2009. <http://helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm>. Salk, Lee. “The Impact on Your Child.” What Every Child Would Like Parents to Know About Divorce. New York: Harper & Row, 1978. 40-57. Print

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