Internal Family Empowerment (Basic Course)

1. Internal Family Empowerment(Basic Course) (7) Deposit trust in your life

2. (6) Deposit trust Understand the need to change yourself, and a method to apply it to your real life. 1) Deposit = Initiate action to build trust. 2) Withdraw = Reactive action that lowers trust.

3. Effect of depositing trust If the trust balance is kept high, your mutual communication will go well, and even if some small mistakes were made, the trust balance will supplement that.

4. □ Five items of depositing 1) Be kind “It is no small matter to care for the people around you and continue to be kind to them.” ・Words ・Thanks ・I'm sorry ・What can I do for you? ・I’d be glad to.

5. 1) Be kind “It is no small matter to care for the people around you and continue to be kind to them.” ・Action ・“Wash dishes together” ・“Go shopping.” ・“Put a memo in their lunch box.” ・“Convey your feeling by telephone” ・“Convey your feeling of gratitude” ・“Embrace”

6. (2) Apologize ・"I am sorry."→ Barometer of initiative Worrying about how other people may look at me; my image, position and their evaluation on me. Is "Apology" to my detriment? It is not so! Apologize promptly! If you apologize first, then I will, too. This is the worst.

7. (3) Do not speak ill of someone who is not with you. (4) When you make a promise, then keep it (Important) 　　 ・Remember their birthday and have a party 　　・Hold meetings as promised (5) Forgive 　　・It is a key point to love 　 ・Until you forgive others, you will remain to be a victim

8. A story of a father I pondered upon the idea of trust balance deeply. "Is my existence contributing to the happiness of each family member? The answer coming out from my heart was "No. "My existence was making my daughter unhappy. When I realized that fact, I felt my heart was torn apart. When I began to recover from that initial shock to a certain degree, I realized I had to change the way I am, the way of my mind. I needed to start taking different action towards my daughter, and I made up my mind to love her in a true sense. I needed to stop criticizing her, and stop blaming her as the cause of the problems we are involved in.

9. I had to stop trying to win over her when we fought. I decided to put my determination into practice at once. I decided to make five “deposits” every day to my trust account for one month. When my daughter came back from school that day, I asked her with a warm smile, “How was school?” “It's none of your business,” replied my daughter coldly. I restrained myself and pretended I didn't hear her words. I kept smiling, and said, “I just wondered if you are well.” I continued making efforts to keep depositing for several days. I also ignored her toxic words.

10. Before, I couldn't be quiet when I heard such words from her, so, it was quite difficult for me not to say anything. I began to realize, each time I hear her toxic words, how miserable our relationship has been. I also realized how much I blamed her and demanded her to change in our relationship without trying to change myself. By not trying to change her but trying to change my feeling and action, I was able to see things from a totally different viewpoint. I also came to understand that she is longing for love and affection. Instead of feeling anger to her attitude who ignores my effort, I began to feel a power spring up from inside of me to deal with her with love and affection. ….

11. □ Let's talk ・What is the trust balance? ・Let's talk to each other about what you think