Learning Outcomes: Understand and demonstrate the writing of the intro

1. WRITING COPYFiction is a bridge to the truth that journalism can’t reach…Gonzo Journalist Hunter Thompson Learning Outcomes: Understand and demonstrate the writing of the intro Discuss intros and news values Understand how to break down the intro according to news values and the five W’s and H. Sindira.Chetty2011

2. Obituaries • Accidents • Speeches • Press conferences • Fires • Meetings Same writing skills you will learn on campus Sindira.Chetty2011

3. Writing the Introduction • Known as the ‘lead’ or ‘Intro’ • Must be simple and clear statement • Include the 5 W’s and H • Information you hear at every story or witness an event. You will answer the questions above. Sindira.Chetty2011

4. Example… “Fire department,” the dispatcher answers. “Hello. At about 10 o’ clock, I was lying on my bed watching TV and smoking,” the voice says. “I must have fallen asleep about 10:30 because that’s when the football game was over. Anyway, I woke up just now and my bedroom was on fire…” Uninformative and not convincing. The caller could have been sleeping and awoke dazed. Sindira.Chetty2011

5. More realistic conversation “Fire Department.” “FIRE!” a voice at the other end yells. “Where?” the dispatcher asks. “AT 35-12th Street, Orange Grove.” • The fact that a house is burning is important to the dispatcher but how it started is irrelevant at the moment. • The same instance as the caller served the fire department the information so to should the reporter to their readers. Sindira.Chetty2011

6. Questions reporters should ask after the fire. • When did it start? • When was it reported? • Who reported it? • How was it reported? • How long did it take the fire department to respond? • How long did it take to extinguish the fire? • How many fires have been attributed to careless smoking this year? • How does that compare to figures in previous years? • Were there any injuries or deaths? • What was the damage? • Who owned the house? • Did the occupant or owner have insurance on the house? • Will charges be filed against the smoker? • Was there anything unusual about this case? Sindira.Chetty2011

7. When you have answered the questions, start looking over your notes. • Who? The owner, a smoker, Henry Smith, 29. The age is important along with address, and occupation. This sets him aside from other Henry Smiths’ • What? Fire caused damage estimated by the fire chief at (x) rands. • Where? Orange Grove Sindira.Chetty2011

8. When? The call was received at 10:55p.m. on Tuesday. Firefighters arrived at the scene at 11:04. The fire was extinguished at 11:30p.m. • Why? The fire was started by carelessness on the part of Smith, according to fire Chief Bill Hattingh. • How? Smith said he fell asleep in bed while he was smoking a cigarette. Sindira.Chetty2011

9. Additional research With the research you had conducted you would find that: • Third fire this year caused by smoking in bed. • Last year this time, there had been four such fires. • Smith had insurance, was not injured and it was the first fire at this house. Sindira.Chetty2011

10. Exercise • Article to include 4 paragraphs. • Rank information in descending order of importance • Three fires have been caused by smoking in bed – this could be the most important thing about this story. Sindira.Chetty2011

11. First attempt… What have you done wrong? A fire started by a careless smoker caused an estimated (x) amount in damage to a home. WORD COUNT:16 You cannot convict someone before there’s a court case The reporter cannot prove the smoker started the fire. Do not presume! Use the word ‘allegedly’ and you are covered. Where did the fire take place? Was it nearby? Sindira.Chetty2011

12. Second Attempt… A fire allegedly started by a careless smoker on Tuesday night caused an estimated (x) amount in damage to a Johannesburg home. WORD COUNT: 23 What did you do wrong? Did you include the person? Who said it was a careless smoker? You allowed an unattributed opinion to slip through. You can either attribute the ‘careless smoker’ info to the fire chief or you can rewrite. You emphasised the damage instead of the cause. Sindira.Chetty2011

13. Third attempt… What did you include? The fire that caused an estimated (x) amount in damage to a home in Orange Grove on Tuesday night may have been caused by smoking in bed, Fire Chief Bill Hattingh said. WORD COUNT: 32 What information did you leave out? Who? Why? Sindira.Chetty2011

14. FOURTH ATTEMPT… The owner of the home, Henry Smith, 29, said he fell asleep in bed while smoking a cigarette. When he awoke about 30 minutes later, the room was filled with smoke. Firefighters arrived nine minutes after receiving the call. It took them 26 minutes to extinguish the fire, which was confined to the bedroom of the one-story house. According to Chief Hattingh, this is the third fire this year caused by careless smokers. Smith, who was not injured, said the house was insured. Sindira.Chetty2011

15. FIFTH ATTEMPT Fire that damaged a home in Orange Grove on Tuesday night may have started when the occupant fell asleep while smoking in bed, Fire Chief Bill Hattingh said. The least important was eliminated to include the most important aspects of the story. What information was deleted? Sindira.Chetty2011

16. WRITING TOOLS: THE NEW RULES • Consider six words ‘Who, What, When, Why, Where and How’ the next time you prepare to write a story. • Abe Rosenberg suggests the ffg questions to ask yourself when writing your story: • WHO IS WATCHING ME? Do I know who my audience is? • WHAT MUST I TELL THAT PERSON, ABOVE ALL ELSE? • WHY DO I CARE ABOUT THIS STORY? • HOW DO I MAKE THIS STORY UNFORGETTABLE? Sindira.Chetty2011

17. EXERCISE Write an article based on the following information. Four paragraphs. • When did it start? Monday morning at 08:00a.m. • When was it reported? At 9:00a.m. A call was made to the Phoenix Police Station. • Who reported it? Shaun Zondi • How was it reported? By telephone • How long did it take the Police Officers to respond? Police arrived at the scene around 9:30a.m. • How long did it take the Police officers to capture the burglar? Five hours • How many burglaries have taken place this year? twenty • How does that compare to figures in previous years? Last year it was estimated that 15 burglaries took place. • Were there any injuries or deaths? Shaun Zondi was injured. He was shot in the arm. • What was the damage? An estimated R20 000 • Who owned the house? Shaun Zondi • Did the occupant or owner have insurance on the house? No • Will charges be filed against the burglar? According to Constable Naicker‘Yes. The suspect will be convicted for armed robbery, breaking and entering.’ • Was there anything unusual about this case? No Sindira.Chetty2011

18. THE INTRO • First paragraph • Is the hook • Single most important part of your article – badly written, you can lose your reader Sindira.Chetty2011

19. CONSIDERATIONS FOR WRITING THE INTRO • Smith, Smyth or Smit – Check spelling even if the source tells you his name. • Keep the intro short - two sentences can be used. • Smoking in bed is a fact. That it was careless is an opinion – attribute opinion (who said so?) • Find out who, what, where, when, why and how. Sometimes all the elements will not be included. • Report information basic to the story even if its routine. • There is no rule against using two sentences in your intro Sindira.Chetty2011

20. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED? Sindira.Chetty2011