Overcoming the Tendency to Raise Self-Indulged Children

2. Overcoming the Tendency to Raise Self-Indulged Children

3. God’s Method of Discipline: Training & Instruction • Eph.6:4; Pro.22:6 The problem: resorting to punishment w/0 appropriate training • Consider how the Lord trained Adam & Eve in the Garden • We too, must use training sessions. Training begins at least by 6 months old.

4. Types of Training Sessions • “Don’t touch” • “Come” when I call • Don’t be shy. How to meet adults. • How to act in a store • How to act in worship • How to respond to parental commands • “Put that down.” “Stop.” “Sit down.” “Be quiet,” etc.

5. Making Training Sessions Work • You cannot do just one training session. • Be sure to praise them each time they obey – they will find joy in pleasing you. • The benefits: • In minutes, they will be capable of obeying • They will learn to say “no” to themselves • They will respond to your voice at other times • You will have limited the chastisement needed in the future

6. Children & Food • God used food to train Israel: Deut. 8:2-3 • Reasons they should eat what is prepared: • It is where the will is most visible • It teaches good manners; ungratefulness is rude • It prevents pickiness as an adult • It keeps them healthy • They are not granted control over the menu • Self-denial teaches them to conquer difficulty • Acquiring a taste is easier when young

7. Chastisement: God’s Method of Saving Us • "My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.”(Heb. 12:5-8)

8. Chastisement: God’s Method of Saving a Child • “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell (Sheol)” (Pro.23:13-14) • “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Pro.22:15)

9. Chastisement: God’s Method of Saving a Child • “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Pro.29:15). • He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Pro.13:24). • “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction (crying)” (Pro.19:18).

10. Chastisement: God’s Method of Saving a Child • Parents are commanded to spank • A parent who does not spank, hates his child. • Spankings teach wisdom & keep a child from being a fool. • Spankings save a child’s soul • There is a small window of opportunity to chastise through spankings.

11. Chastisement: God’s Method of Saving a Child • “Beat” (23:14) means “to strike or swat.” • “Rod” refers to “a twig or switch.” The purpose is to “sting” not harm. • Notice the “hand” is not mentioned. • Societies who reject spanking are in moral decline; highest teen suicide rates.

12. Difference between Chastisement & Abuse • Chastisement is calm & controlled. Abuse is angry, out-of-control beating. • Chastisement is a planned action of love. Abuse is a reaction; a venting. • Chastisement is done after the 1st offense. Abuse waits until the parent explodes. • Chastisement is constructive & instructive. Abuse is hurtful, demeaning verbal attacks • Chastisement draws parent & child together. Abuse alienates children.