Communication

1. Communication

2. Activity 1 • In partners, you have 1 minute to discuss your weekend. • The first person is to be the worst listener in the world, the other partner is the talker. • How did that go? • Now switch and the listener is to be the best in the world. • What did you notice?

3. When a message is sent, what gets through? • What is said…….7% • How you say it…..38% • Body language…..55% Check list with your partner what you noticed about their communication.

4. Types of Communication • How do you get your way with your parents?? • Passive – rarely works – communicator is seen as weak and not confident • Aggressive – disrespectful – makes demands, is loud and obnoxious • Assertive – honesty – confident and takes both sides into consideration

5. Write your own scenario demonstrating the 3 types of communication. Create a scenario – anything will do. Complete the worksheet in your book on Taking Charge and “I” statements. There will be times when someone will try to distract you from delivering your assertive message. These are called distracting or persuasive statements. There are skills you can use to respond to these

6. Watch video with Val and Trevor to see the different types of communication in action. • Remember the 4 steps!! 1. Explain your feelings 2. make a request 3. ask how they feel about it 4. Thank them • How does Trevor try to get Val off track in the conversation?

7. This Unit Assignment • Your assignment for this unit will be to create a dialogue and to use 2 distracting/persuasive statements, 2 responding statements (negotiate, delay or refusal skills) and the 4 steps of assertive communication. This should be done as a dialogue, people talking back and forth to each other – written like a play.

8. Practicing Assertive Techniques • 1. Delay the activity – know ahead of time how you feel about sex or drugs and how far you are prepared to go. Tell the other person you are not ready to make a big decision now and that you need more time. “Let’s wait until I have had time to think about it.” • 2. Be friendly but firm when stating how you feel. “I’m having a lot of fun dancing with you, but I’m not prepared to have sex with you.” • 3. Say how you feel in an honest and confident manner. “At this time in my life, I don’t feel comfortable having sex.”

9. 4. Speak for yourself and don’t worry about what anyone else would do. “I don’t care what everyone else is doing. I’m not prepared to have sex with you.” • 5. Discuss possible consequences “If we have a baby now, it would ruin our chance to go to college.” • 6. Separate the person from the activity by letting your friend know that you care about them, but feel uncomfortable about the activity. “Just because I do not want to have sex with you does not mean I do not care about you. I think you are great.” • 7. Suggest an alternative “Let’s go to the movies instead.”

10. 8. Walk away from the situation, especially if the person persists, but leave the door open for them to join you in another activity. “I’m leaving this situation now, I’m going to Tim Horton’s and you are welcome to join me.” • 9. If you are being pressured into doing something, then reverse the pressure. “I don’t have to do anything to prove that I’m cool…do you?”

11. Refusal Techniques/Skills • “No thanks” • Giving a reason or excuse • Broken record • Walk away • Avoiding the situation • Cold shoulder • Changing the subject • Reversing the pressure • Strength in numbers • Humour • Stating a health problem In groups of 2-3 you will be given a scenario to role play. You must use the 4 steps of assertive communication and at least 1 distracting statement and a refusal technique.

12. DECISION MAKING • I – Identify the problem What is the problem that needs to be resolved? (personal values) • D – describe ways to solve the problem List as many possible choices or alternatives that you can think of that may help you to solve the problem (possible solutions) • E – evaluate each solution By listing the positives and negatives of each choice. • A – act on a plan to use the best solution • L – learn about your plan Describe how you think your plan will turn out. Did you make the best choice? What would you do differently next time? After it is over – reflect on your choice.