Mentoring and Therapeutic Relationships

1. Mentoring and Therapeutic Relationships Week 7 Dealing with Difficult Kids

2. Outline Learn to Mentor Toolkit Feedback Worksheet Difficult kids (AKA Tough Tykes) Research & Types Focus on: ADHD Recommendations Role Playing Activity Class Presentation by Rebecca

3. Learn to Mentor Toolkit 2 Modules Giving and Receiving Feedback Feedback Worksheet Complete the first module using your past experiences. For the second module, pretend the behavior in question is the child�s temper � make up the rest of the worksheet on your own.

4. Introduction As we�ve discussed, mentors face many obstacles in getting through to children and fostering a positive relationship with them. When kids are �difficult� � they present a unique challenge. Not only is harder to establish a relationship with them, but it can be MUCH more frustrating.

5. Defining �Difficult� When they�re younger, difficult kids are best defined by Thomas and Chess� original difficult temperament category: These young children are less adaptable. It is more difficult to get them into a routine of sleeping and feeding regularly, and they seem more tense and irritable in their responses to new situations or people.

6. Defining �Difficult� (Cont�) As they get older and reach adolescence, difficult kids are generally those who are� Defiant Oppositional Defensive Hostile Hyperactive And generally speaking, difficult to be around

7. Mentors and Difficult Kids Mentors can get discouraged when their mentee is unwilling, defensive, or even hostile to their early efforts to establish a relationship. Expectations vs. reality

8. Mentors and Difficult Kids (Cont�) Adding to the mess is the fact that the very problem that turns off mentors, is probably the same problem that turns off other people in the child�s life. Thus, it�s probably a MAJOR reason the child is in need of a mentor, getting in trouble, etc to begin with.

9. Sticking With Them This gives mentors a unique opportunity to observe and work through these types of problems � IF the mentor is willing to work through them. If not, negative consequences may follow� What does it communicate? How might it make them feel?

10. Research on Difficult Kids

11. Prevalence Data from the Department of Health (1995): After examining and aggregating a large number of studies, it was determined that about 6-11% of 10-year olds have a clinically diagnosable conduct disorder. In other words, there are a lot of difficult kids out there!

12. Associated Factors Farrington (1995) summarized work in this area, and came up with 4 major factors associated with anti-social types of behaviors: (1) Economic deprivation Low family income, poor housing, low social class

13. Associated Factors (Cont�) (2) Family criminality Having criminally convicted parents or siblings (3) Parental mishandling Poor child supervision, poor child rearing behaviors (e.g. abuse, neglect) (4) School failure Low vocabulary and IQ scores, high truancy

14. Stability Do kids with major behavioral problems stay that way as they get older? There exists evidence for both long-term short-term stability, depending on how you analyze the data. Bottom line: Most kids outgrow it, others don�t. What happens to those who don�t?

15. THIS COULD HAPPEN!

16. But it doesn�t have to� Children who don�t outgrow their defiant & oppositional nature may have more difficultly functioning in a lawful and orderly society. Bosses, rules, etc. Children who don�t outgrow their hyperactivity have difficulty settling down, sticking with one career, giving up risky behaviors, etc.

17. Focus on: ADHD The most widely diagnosed childhood psychological disorder is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Yes, there is a controversy. Regardless of the debate, as a mentor, you�re bound to encounter a child with ADHD features at some point.

18. ADHD vs. ADD Actually 2 disorders, sometimes confused Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) ADHD Inattentiveness + Hyperactivity and Impulsiveness ADD Inattentiveness ONLY

19. ADHD 45 to 70 percent of ADHD children show significant oppositional, defiant, hostile behaviors and quick temperedness The definition of DIFFICULT Leads to intense interpersonal problems and mood and anxiety disorders Many times disliked and shunned by classmates, teachers, family, etc. This can lead to a multitude of other psychological and emotional problems

20. ADHD Theories (1) Social theories Already discussed (i.e. dysfunctional family life, school problems, etc.) (2) Biological theories Abnormal brain development and cognitive functioning that affects their ability to inhibit and control behavior Birth complications, genetics, brain damage, exposure to toxic substances (LEAD), infectious diseases, etc.

21. ADHD Clinical Treatment MEDICATION Stimulants (Ritalin) and antidepressants COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPY Teach self-control, self-motivation, self-monitoring using reinforcement Coordinate efforts with family and teachers Behavioral interventions must begin early

22. What Can Mentors Do? Taffel (2000) suggests some methods of dealing with difficult kids. For children with high activity levels Structure Hyperactive children need organization to keep them focused � taking breaks is a must. Vigilance Be aware of activities or stimuli that trigger HIGH activity and energy levels (e.g. diet, criticism, etc.)

23. More Recommendations For children who are tenacious (i.e. won�t give up and won�t give in) Avoid power struggles Pick and choose battles (don�t argue over the unimportant stuff) Give them limited choices (you are still empowering them) Walk away (take a break) & return to the issue another time

24. More Recommendations (Cont�) For children who are defensive Don�t force them to talk or participate Give them space Be honest with them about your intentions Give them a lot of options � work within their realm of comfort and interest Don�t align yourself against the child � remember, you�re on his/her team Keep in mind, the child has every right to be skeptical of you, and it�s YOUR job to prove your sincerity

25. More Recommendations (Cont�) And for all difficult kids, remember� Frustration is imminent, but you shouldn�t feel ineffective or unwanted. Very few kids immediately take to adults. Both you and the child have to prove yourselves to each other, and it takes time.

26. Role Playing Activity Pair up with someone else Each person in the pair must choose a color: Your color will dictate your role playing personality