“Forgive others just as Christ also forgave you”

1. “Forgive others just as Christ also forgave you”

2. Forgiveness is counter-culture

3. “Even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13b “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

4. You cannot do it alone • Unless your heart is cleansed and changed by God, the memories will still be lurking in the background

5. GOD NEEDS TO CHANGE OUR HEART • The only solution is to admit that you cannot forgive in your strength and that you desperately need God to come in and change your heart

6. Forgiveness is not a feeling • IT’S AN ACT OF THE WILL • As God gives us grace, we must then decide not to think or talk about what someone has done to hurt us

7. Forgiveness is Not Forgetting • Forgetting is a passive process in which a matter fades away from memory over time • Forgiveness is an active process

8. “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25

9. God isn’t saying that He can’t remember our sins! He is promisingnot to remember them

10. Forgiveness is not excusing • Forgiveness is the opposite of excusing Forgiveness says, “We both know that what you did was wrong and without excuse, but since God has forgiven you, I forgive you.”

11. God honors our feelings and sympathizes with them “Break their teeth in their mouth, O God!  Break out the fangs of the young lions, O LORD!7 Let them flow away as waters which run continually; When he bends his bow, Let his arrows be as if cut in pieces. Let them be like a snail which melts away as it goes, Like a stillborn child of a woman, that they may not see the sun.” Psalm 58:6-8

12. Forgiveness is a Decision • The Greek word Charizomai – to bestow favor freely or unconditionally Forgiveness is undeserved and cannot be earned

13. Offenses create debts that have to be paid Make a Choice! Either take payments on the debt or make payments

14. So forgiveness can be described as 4 promises: • I will not dwell on this incident • I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you • I will not talk to other about this incident • I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship

15. What to do when I can’t forgive • Reflect on God’s forgiveness towards you

16. 21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

17. “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet[a] and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’[b]30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.

18. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:21-35

19. “The LORD is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.9 He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him” Psalm 103:8-11

20. Replacement Principle Replace negative thoughts with positive memories

21. Pursue reconciliation by your words

22. Pursue reconciliation by your deeds CS Lewis said, “Don’t waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor or not, act as if you did. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”