Army Forgotten Ribbons and Medals

1. Army Forgotten Ribbons and Medals ASK Always Skating Medal: All the numerous times you have been getting out and away from work unnoticed, until the end of the day. NR Non Recognition Medal: For all the hard work you accomplished and someone out ranking you takes the credit GPR Green Pickle Ribbon: All the times you have been f***ed over with no lubrication for no reason RTKA Refuse to Kiss Ass Ribbon: When you realize all the bullshit that higher ups are trying to make you and your Soldiers do. You just refuse to comply. KA Kiss Ass Ribbon: Awarded to those Soldiers that you know who have their lips attached to anyone’s ass that out ranks them. Also known as brown nosing. DOM Disgruntle of Army Medal: Awarded to Soldiers who just don’t give a f*** about anything. Also they’re mad at everything including their mother. stop WDTB Who Drives The Bus Ribbon: When you know your shop is f***ed up because there are too many Chiefs and not enough Indians. FFL Field For Life Medal: When your on every field exercise known to man…period. TG That Guy Ribbon: If you’ve been to a party and embarrassed yourself, waking up with markers and writing on your body, but you don’t remember. WM Wing Man Medal: For the ones who sacrificed their pride and took that bullet, grenade, land mine, and that atomic nuclear bomb. Your shame will not go in vain, but will benefit the other person. LDW Light Duty Warrior Medal: The one that never PTs, Stays late, Lifts heavy shit, and complains about what hurts, but always quick to go out and party. SPCD Stay Pregnant and Can’t Deploy Ribbon : Every time a deployment comes up, it’s time to get knocked up.

2. L SASM Stinky Ass Soldier Medal: Soldiers who thinks their mother is in the Army cleaning up after them. Poor hygiene, never washed their laundry, and finds nothing wrong living in filth. PUA Picking Up Again Ribbon: For those Soldiers who got busted down and picked up any rank more than twice and are still in the Army. BSS Bullshit Story Ribbon: That one Soldier who has a story for everything, including whatever you and your fellow Soldiers did, that one Soldier did it better. STT Story To Tell Ribbon: Those Soldiers who know they’re lying, when they start off with “Well what happened was” or “Huh” when asked. You know you’re about to get a false, but an unbelievable, sometimes funny story. DFL Duty For Life Medal: When your promotion goes by everyone in your section and you never get it… BB Busy Body Ribbon: To the Soldiers who knows everybody else’s business and tells it, but does not know their own. E EWP Elite Working Party Ribbon: Awarded to Soldiers serving in “Operation Beautification”. Mission Code: “Sweep and Mop it”, “Get Cleaned by 0600”, “Sandbag it”, “Tear it down just to put it up again”, and “Police Call”. PH Power Hungry Medal: For the Soldiers who pick up rank then goes through a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde power trip. ML Moto Language Medal: Soldiers who never say your rank and name, but always called you Warrior, Killer, Hard Charger, or Motivator. ## IDE I Deserve Everything Ribbon: Awarded to the Soldiers who think they deserve everything, but did nothing to earn it. DADT Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Ribbon: To those Soldiers that show too much sugar in their tank. Need I say more. PM Potty Mouth Ribbon: Is for the Soldiers who uses 4 or more curse words in one sentence.

3. MA Mystery Soldier Ribbon: Awarded to that one Soldier that’s been in your department for months not saying shit and has been unnoticed, until they get promoted. Making you wonder where the hell did they come from?, when did they get here?, and Who is that again? WTFWhat The f*** Medal: For those who were told “Do as I say, not as I do.” So the rules apply to everyone, but you see them doing everything that everyone’s not supposed to be doing. SP Smoke Pit Ribbon: Awarded to those who visit the smoke pit 7 times in an 8 hour day or 15 times or more in a 12 hour day when at work. COA Crusty Old Soldiers’ Medal: For that cranky, crusty, rude, old ass Soldier that just won’t retire and tries to stay in, even when their great grand kids are picking up CSM. CGR Can’t Get Right Medal: For that Soldier who can’t get shit right and every time they come around everyone hides from them because no one wants to deal with them. BG Blame Game Ribbon: Getting blamed for shit that has nothing to do with you or your department, but you get blamed anyway. UPFM Unhealthy Physical Fit Soldiers Medal: Performs better physically than any healthy Soldiers that doesn’t drink or smoke, but still scores a 100 or at least close enough. SA Shady Soldier Ribbon: The Soldiers that f*** over everyone else to benefit themselves. Also known as back stabbers. EB Extreme Bummer Medal: For those who seem to never have shit they need and bum everything from everyone else all the time. DQ Drama Queen Ribbon: For those who always love dealing with drama everyday. Just living their lives as one big f***ed up soap. OE Operator Error Ribbon: The ones who need assistance on the simplest equipment and somehow still f*** it up. SS Stealth Smuggler Medal: Those Soldiers that are always getting their hands on the hook ups that no one else can get.

4. BCB Biggest Cry Baby Ribbon: Awarded to the one Soldier who cries about everything and anything. You’re not even sure if they are a Soldier. SA Skin Art Ribbon: Those Soldiers who are tattooed from head to toe and are still in the Army beating all the rules and regulations. LM Legendary Marksmen Medal: For those Soldiers who wear a 4th award on up marksmen badge. Who still can’t shoot for shit and still blaming that the weapon is f***ed up, when it’s an operator error. LR Lab Rat Medal: Awarded to those Soldiers who used every drug known to man and still haven’t been popped for one piss test or if so they’re still in the Army doing their thing staying high. PLC Pointless Love Connection Ribbon: For those Soldiers that find love on the internet or just met the person elsewhere, known them for two days then marries them. Next thing you know one month later they’re divorced. IH Internet Hog Ribbon: The one Soldier that spends all day at work surfing the internet and never lets anyone else on for shit. IM Idiots Medal: Served at least 1 or more terms in same location and still doesn’t know shit, but somehow your ass is still picking up rank. PS Poor Sports Medal: Awarded to Soldiers who think they are still in their prime saying they’re the best at every sport, but reality shows that they suck at every sport. WB Wind Bag Ribbon: When passing the word becomes passing the speech. At the end of every sentence is “And one more thing” you’re in for a long ass night. FM False Moto Medal: The one Soldier who is all about motivation in front of the right people, but behind closed doors you hear them saying “f*** the Army” and they can’t stand anyone out ranking them. SCK Suspect Cereal Killer Ribbon: At work they talk to no one and are always busy. Off work they stay locked up in their room with the blinds closed and they go nowhere besides the PX. DEB Did Every Job Ribbon: For those who have done every job in your shop and still hold at least 4 of them. Which also means that you have been stationed there way too long.

5. NBB No Back Bone Medal: They are recognized by the amount of footprint, tire, bike, hum-v, and 7-ton tracks marked on their body. Maybe some day they will learn to stand up for their Soldiers and themselves. Just stop being a “yes man” ass…that’s the first step. SI Space Invader Ribbon: Those few Soldiers who just get too close for comfort. Out of 10 empty sinks in the gym bathroom, some naked Soldier straight out of the shower, wants to brush their teeth next to you nude while flexing in mirror and trying to strike up a conversation. UCS Uncontrolled Spasms Ribbon: The ones who spasm about the slightest things. They turn a small issue into the biggest problem. Basically another little chicken. #34599668 GM Garbage Mouth Ribbon: To those with a bad case of Halitosis and wants to talk to you face to face or in an enclosed area with no proper ventilation. Breathe that smells like a little man is shitting on their tongue. CF Caffeine Freak Medal: Those Soldiers who have a coffee or some type of caffeine drink glued to their hand all day everyday, even when they’re driving or playing sports. BT Jail Time Medal: For those who served time in Jail special thanks for keeping our highways and roads clean. SD Speed Demon Ribbon: For those Soldiers who have 4 or more speeding tickets and still have their driving privileges on and off post. CJD Courage Juice Drinker Medal: Awarded to those Soldiers who get drunk and want to fight everyone, but by the end of the night they got their ass beat by everyone at the party. MD Major Dipping Ribbon: Award to those Soldiers who can dip a whole can and leave spit marks and bottles everywhere.