What You Must Know About Adult Bullies

1. What You MUST Know About Adult Bullies All rights reserved. This document, What You MUST Know About Adult Bullies is Copyright © Nathan Segal, 2017. This document is distributed with the understanding that the publisher has made every effort possible to make sure that the information contained herein is truthful and accurate. When necessary, information has been changed or updated, to keep the information as current as possible. Disclaimer What you are about to read is not legal advice, nor is the author a lawyer. If there is any doubt about the veracity of the information contained in this document, the services of a competent professional should be sought. You should also consult with an appropriately qualified professional before making any life changes. Due to the rapidly changing state of technology, the publisher/copyright holder does not accept any responsibility for any liabilities resulting from the decisions made by the purchasers of this document. Note: This document contains affiliate links. If you purchase something from one or more of these links, I will receive a commission. For more information, write to me at visualartist49@gmail.com or call me at (408) 844-4851. I’m on PST. You can also visit my website, which is LifeAfterBullying.net or my YouTube channel. The Problem Bullying has captured the media spotlight as of late, and there have been multiple stories, not only of the bullying itself but of the deaths of people, young and old

2. who committed suicide because they believed that it was the only way to stop the bullying. I too have been bullied, many times throughout my life. My late father was a bully, and so is my younger brother. The bullying created tremendous emotional pain. For years, I was in counseling for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the cause was bullying and harassment. If someone is bullying you, you don't need anyone to tell you how difficult it is to cope with, how much it hurts emotionally, nor how many people won't believe you. And to make matters worse, some of your "friends" might side with the bully and abandon you. Essential Things You Need to Know One of the first things you need to know is that the bully is not a normal human being. The very things that would be abhorrent to you are fuel to a bully. For one thing, bullies get off on the fight. They get their energy from the humiliation, mind games, twisting your words, workplace sabotage, backstabbing, etc. By fighting back, you feed their hunger. And while they may seem angry or even appear to be crying while they abuse you, it's an act. Anything to get you to respond. And if you respond, the bullying will continue. The longer the bullying continues, the worse the emotional pain becomes. It can totally devastate an ordinary person, and the damage can take years of recovery if it happens at all. One of the devastating effects of bullying is developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which could lead to many years of suffering. Fortunately, there are some therapies for this and we'll look at those options on this site. In my years of bullying I tried desperately to beat the bully or to end the cycle but I never reckoned with the power of the bully to bait me and draw me back into the drama. And if you're reading these words, this has probably happened to you, too.

3. Bullying and Crazy Making Behavior Years ago, I learned about crazy making in a 12-step group. It refers to a situation where someone´s behavior is so extreme that you cannot predict what they will do at any given moment. If you try to make sense of it, the illogical behavior will drive you crazy, hence the term. Another definition I encountered was "Come here - go away." Crazy making is a dynamic found with abusive people and quite often manifests in homes where addiction(s) occupy center stage. It is also a characteristic of bullying. Bullies will say or do anything to get what they want, and they have no conscience about their actions. If bullying is present in your life, it will begin to affect you mentally and could cause PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and other psychological problems. One nasty little trick that bullies pull is when they realize they are close to being unmasked. In this case, the bully could suddenly reverse course, cast himself or herself as the victim, and accuse their victim of being the abuser. For many victims (targets) that´s the last straw, and they can sometimes lash out and from an emotional place. If/when that happens, the bully will point at their target and say: "See, I told you he/she was mentally unstable." If this has happened to you, you know how infuriating it can be. When reporting bullying behavior, it is important to stay as calm and reasonable as possible, even when provoked. That way the bully cannot trap you. If you give into emotion and anger, you will damage your position and give more power to the bully. The bottom line is this, if you want to recover from the trauma of bullying, you MUST get the bully out of your life. If you do not, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to recover.

4. When the Bully is No Longer in Your Life For some people, getting the bully out of their lives is enough and they will begin to recover. Others have been traumatized by the ongoing harassment which has caused a psychological injury, sometimes known as PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If this has happened to you, you know you’re in trouble. Fortunately, help exists. I work with Hamish Bayston, a coach who specializes in working with victims of bullying. With his coaching, you can remove the trauma of bullying from your life, change your limiting beliefs, stop the obsessive thinking and begin to live a normal life, free of the trauma of bullying. For more information, write to me at visualartist49@gmail.com or call me at (408) 844-4851. I’m on PST. You can also visit my website, which is LifeAfterBullying.net or my YouTube channel. If you write to me, I will respond within 48 hours.