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Children's Developmental Stages and Grief Responses. AGE 0-2
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1. When a Child Dies…Shay M. Crenshaw, M.Div., BCCUNC Hospitals
2. Children’s Developmental Stages and Grief Responses AGE 0-2
“Out of Sight, Out of Mind”
Peek-a-boo reinforces idea that people exist even if they can’t be seen
Concept of death: “All Gone”
3. AGES 2 – 7 Death is temporary, reversible, a journey, bodily functions continue, like sleep
Dead person lives in a box underground or on a cloud
Child thinks his/her thoughts could have caused the death
People live to be 150 years old
Concept of death: Magical Egocentric, Casual
4. Ages 7 - 12 Curious about birth, death, sex differences
Interested in details of death
Begin to realize permanence of death– body functions stop
Comprehend thoughts of afterlife
Accurate estimate of life span
Believe very old, or handicapped people die
Concept of death: Curious and Realistic
5. Ages 13 and up Death is seen as a natural process in life
Have difficult time with death because of self-absorption
Strong sense of denying one’s own mortality More comfortable discussing death with peers than older adults
Death caused by old age or serious illness
6. Sociocultural Influences on Children’s Understanding of Death Socialization
Society
Culture
Resocialization
Tactical socialization Family
School and Peers
Mass Media
Religion
7. Positive Influences of Childhood Fantasy: Ring Around the Rosie
Rock-a-Bye Baby
Prayers- “Now I lay me Down to Sleep…” Three Little Pigs
Little Red Riding Hood
Hansel and Gretel
8. A Mature Concept of Death Universality
Irreversibility
Nonfunctionality
Causality
9. Explaining Death to a Terminally Ill Child Use language which is understandable, describe which part of the body is affected, what the treatment will be like, goals of the treatment
Let the child explain back to you what they have heard, help clarify confusion or misunderstanding Explain what cause the illness, it is not brought about by magical thinking
Allow child to express feelings, talk about similar feelings of family members
Assure the child that he/she will be cared for and loved
10. Psychosocial Needs of Ill and Dying Children: Need to feel loved
Sense of security
Freedom from pain
Freedom from deep-seated feelings of anxiety or guilt Sense of belonging
Feeling of self-respect and understanding of self
11. Common Concerns of Dying Children: Fear of Abandonment
Family Survival
Personal Responsibility
Fear of the Unknown
12. Principals to Consider for Empathic Support of Children Coping with Death Development
Life experiences
Individual Personality
Communication
13. Four Task Central to Productive Mourning In Children: Understand and make sense out of what is happening or has happened
Express emotional and other strong responses to the present or anticipated loss Commemorate the life that has been lost through some formal or informal remembrance
Learn how to go on with living and loving
14. Phases of Adolescence: Early Adolescence—11 to 14 years—decreased identification with parents, increased identification with peers, fascination with hero figures, growing interest in sexuality, Separation (abandonment) vs. Reunion (safety)
Middle Adolescence—14 to 17 years– developing autonomy from parents, experimenting with who they are, second chances, second individualization process, reorganization of values of parents, Independence vs. Dependence
15. Late Adolescence—17 to 21 years—achieving closure in second individualization process, coping successfully with traumatic events, accepting one’s past and freedom for growth and maturity, resolving one’s sexual identity, closeness vs. distance
16. Adolescents and Loss Grandparents, Parents, Siblings,
Neighbors, Teachers,
Friends
Celebrities, Cultural Heroes,
Pets
Love relationships, Friendships, Moving,
Offspring
17. Guidelines for Adult Communication with Adolescents about Death: Take lead in open discussion about whatever adolescent wants to discuss
Active listening, attention to spoken and unspoken feelings
Accept feelings as real, important and normal Use supportive responses
Don’t try to solve the problem, assist adolescent in solving problem
Provide frequent opportunities to talk
18. Bibliography Core, C. A., Nabe, C. M.., & Corr. D. M. (2003). Death Dying, Live and Living. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth
Despelder, L. A. (2002). The Last Dance. Boston: McGraw Hill.
Fitzsimons, Ann, Erica Rothman, and Beth Seyda. When a Child is Dying, The Supportive Care Handbook. Ford & Earl Associates. Troy. 2002.
Goldman, L. (1994). Life & Loss A Guide to Help Grieving Children. Levittown, PA: Accelerated Development Inc.
Grollman, E. A. edt. (1995). Bereaved Children and Teens. Boston: Beacon Press.
Johnson, J. (1999). Keys To Helping Children Deal With Death and Grief. New York: Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.
Rothman, Erica, and Beth Seyda. “When A Child Is Dying.” Compassionate Passages. 2002.