“In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb

1. “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb How can you PLAN and help to unite, or BUILD and strengthen your family today and in the future? Building Strong Families

2. 4.5 million children under 18 (6.3%) live in the house of their grandparents. • For about 1/3 of these, neither parent is present • 59% of preschool children attend day care. • 29.3% of all births are outside of marriage • About 17% of children live in poverty and 22% live near it. • 3 million people are homeless with children. • More than 825,000 children each year are identified as victims of abuse or neglect. 1,100 children die each year from the neglect or abuse. ¾ are kids under 5 years old. • In Utah everyday 12 teenagers conceive a child (over 5,000 a year) • Nationally 500 babies are born each day to a teen mom. 75% of these are unmarried teen moms. • Married couples with children make up only 25% of homes. • Nearly 2 million children between ages 5 and 13 take care of themselves for some portion of the day while a parent is working. • There are over 14,000 female single parent families with children under 6 and 30,000 with female single parent females with children under 18 • Each week over 8,000 step families are created. • 1 child in 4 is a step child – over 15 million children live in step families. • Nationally 1 child in 8 has an alcoholic parent. What do you think? How affect…. How do we stop?

3. Despite the media’s attention and focus on the down side of family life, families are considered the foundation of our nation. To be a strong nation we must build strong families. We have a great many families that consider their family’s healthy, strong, and growing. This takes know how, determination, desire, and hard work. So start working to build your family’s strength. 1” chain link How strong is your Family?

4. What are the Secrets of a Strong Family? Share chain link

5. State Requirement #7Strengthen Family Relationships 1. Make a list of areas where your family may need help. 2. Make a list of 10 activities you can do with your family to build your family strength. 3. Choose 2 of the 7 strengthening strategies to implement into your family this week. 4. Explain what you are planning to do, using a SMART Goal (Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) 5. Put your plans into action and Do them. 6. Explain what you actually did. 7. Evaluate the strategy. Did the strategy strengthen your family? How? 8. How can you see this activity building unity in your family in the future?

6. Commitment = How you spend your time and money. Make your family come first even when you don’t feel like it. Make time For Each other – quality vs. quantity. Commitment Time Together

7. Complete the Family Tradition (Worksheet ) • These can be simple, like eating dinner together every day. • Maybe your extended family gets together once a month… • Perhaps your mom waits up for you after a date or dance to talk about it… • Can also be holiday related (open one present on Christmas Eve...) • Perhaps you attend sibling ball games, etc…. • Unusual: sing a strange Christmas carol your sister wrote when she was in 2nd grade…

8. How do family traditions influence our family unity? Make family members feel secure. Reminds family of happy times Strengthen family relationships Family Traditions

9. Feeling worthwhile and valuable is one of the most basic human needs. Show it! Increase understanding by sharing feelings not just words. Talk openly and listen to each other. Appreciation Communication

10. All family members cooperate with each other in making decisions. Explanations for family rules, discipline, and expectations are clear. Confidences in their ability to meet problems and solve them as a family. Decision Making and Responsibilitiy Problem Solving

11. Strong families have a strong moral base with shared goals and ideals about what is important. Strong families are strengthened most by family members working together and supporting one another. Service within the family and outside of the family. Values and Spiritual Wellness Family Chores

12. Small touches (non-sexual) Love Language – understanding what it is for the other person and learn to give it. The family that laughs – Lasts. Affection and LOVE LAUGHTER and HUMOR

13. Brielle 2lbs (bottom) and Kyrie 2lbs 3oz (top)

14. What are the importance of family rules? Family Rules 1. Expressing angry feelings 2. Discussing sex 3. Discussing personal problems 4. Questions about religion 5. Family outings or projects 6. Discipline—who, when, how, and why 7. Sharing things (Examples: clothes, jewelry, etc.) 8. Involvement in family finances 9. Chores around the house 10. The age of dating 11. The curfew in the home 12. Practicing of musical instruments, when, etc. 13. Driving the car 14. Quiet time in the family 15. Study time in the family 16. Having friends in the home 17. Telephone usage 18. Responsibility for cleaning your own room 19. Laundry responsibilities 20. The eating of food 21. The opening of Christmas presents 22. The type of Sunday dinner you have 23. The use of television 24. Allowances 25. Tending of younger children

15. 3 Together • Draw the maze to cover the entire paper. • Paper stays flat on the table. • Penny stays flat on the paper and stays in between the lines. • Only the eraser of the pencil may touch the penny. • No one may touch the pencil. • Members of the group may only touch 1 of the 3 pieces of string. • First round is just to plan – NO practicing.

16. Do You Have the Sense of a Goose? 1. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird behind. a. People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. 2. Falling out of formation creates drag and resistance. b. If we have as much sense of a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are. 3. When the head goose gets tired it rotates back. c. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying South. 4. Geese honk to encourage the front to keep going d. Encourage family members to keep up 5. Wounded or sick geese are accompanied by 2 others. They stay with them until better or death. Then fly off to catch up or join another formation. e. Stand by each other

17. SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS • How can a sibling relationship be a positive part of a family? • Role models • Supporters • members of a coalition for dealing with parents. • Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship is probably the strongest.

18. SIBLING ROLES • Playmates and Companions • Teachers and Learners • Protectors and dependants • Adversaries • Role Models

19. SIBLING RIVALRY • Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for dominance • Question: What are some typical things brothers and sisters have problems with or argue about? • Sibling rivalry may occur at all stages and ages of life. • It is extremely common, and it sometimes persists into adult life. • who shall host the family holiday celebration or who shall look after an ailing parent? • The rivalry level varies according to ages and life experiences/events • Children perceive the parents’ attitudes and compete with one another for affection and approval. • One or both parents sometimes single out one child as the “best” and another as the “black sheep.”

20. Activity • Oldest, youngest, middle child groupings • More than 5 years in between you and next sibling-see me • “Each member of the group needs to think of an adjective that describes you as a person. You will then share these with the rest of your group. If the majority of the group agrees that characteristic fits them as well then you write it on your butcher paper. Continue to do this until you have a list of characteristics that are common in your group. After your group is done hang it on the board.”

21. BIRTH ORDER • The order in which children are born in to a family has an influence on the development of the children. • The stages in the family life cycle are based on the age of the oldest child because everything the firstborn does in new to the parents.

22. Things to remember about Birth Order • Exceptions in traits • Focus on positive traits of each birth order • Becoming aware of uniqueness • Use the information to understand ourselves and others • Do not use traits as labels or stereotypes

23. The oldest child is: • Usually set up as an example to the other children. • Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. • A high achiever • Given and accepts more responsibility than the other children. • Usually college bound. • Independent • Is affectionate

24. The middle child: • May work extra-hard to get recognition. • Is usually a peace maker. • is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is an all-around good student • Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.

25. The youngest child: • Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing. • May be spoiled • Usually matures quickly • May be undisciplined and irresponsible • Is easy-going about school. • Likes to associate with someone who takes charge of situations. • Younger children typically copy and try to excel in areas in which older children have previously succeeded.

26. MARRIAGE IN RELATION TO BIRTH ORDER • Oldest and youngest – the youngest is use to being taken care of and the oldest likes taking care of others. • Two youngest - will have lots of fun together, but may resent each other later because no one is taking care of each other. • Two Oldest – admire and respect each other because of the traits they possess. However later on they may have problems trying to agree on things.

27. WHAT IS YOUR TEACHER? • Oldest child: • Create complicated projects for students to complete. • They like structure and order in the classroom. • They are happiest when students are sitting in nicely arrange desks, straight in a line. • Students are quiet and do as they are told. • the oldest child teacher will be frustrated unless they learn how to achieve the organization in a different way.

28. A middle child teacher: • Is interested in the psychological well being as well as the academic achievement of the student. • They seek out the rebellious students in hope of influencing them in a more positive direction. • They try to achieve order through mutual respect and understanding.

29. A teacher who is a younger child: • Are more creative, fun loving, adjust well to noise and disorder. • Teachers allow students to take more responsibility so they won’t have to do everything themselves

30. Whether you have grown up in a strong family or not, it is possible FOR YOU to have a strong and healthy family of your own. If your present family is a good model to follow, transfer those strengths to your new family. If not, rather than blame others, yourself, or circumstances, take responsibility for making your future family the kind of family that nurtures and loves its members. A strong family doesn’t just happen by accident.. It takes effort and determination. Investing in your family is Investing in the future

31. State Requirement #7Strengthen Family Relaitonships 1. Make a list of areas where your family may need help. 2. Make a list of 10 activities you can do with your family to build your family strength. 3. Choose 2 of the 7 strengthening strategies to implement into your family this week. 4. Explain what you are planning to do, using a SMART Goal (Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) 5. Put your plans into action and Do them. 6. Explain what you actually did. 7. Evaluate the strategy. Did the strategy strengthen your family? How? 8. How can you see this activity building unity in your family in the future?