Welcome to Midgetville

1. Welcome to Midgetville One of the Wonders of the World Revealed

2. The Legend of Midgetville Midgetville is one of those places you never really believe exists until you actually see it. It’s kind of like a nude beach, free drinks at a bar, not having to pay for sex with someone you met off the street, but it’s just as rewarding. Many people disbelieve our stories about this place, so it had to be documented and what better way to do it than in a PowerPoint presentation. So let the mystery be put to rest and enjoy your visit to: MIDGETVILLE

3. The Sitemap Use this to help you navigate around Midgetville. All pictures were taken from the road indicated in brown. The “x” is the rough location of the houses which are always in green (regardless of where the “x” is). Note: There is road that runs behind houses # 11 & # 12 that connects to the incoming road.

4. A Gated Community? Well, I see they’ve tightened up security a bit since I was last here. When was the last time a gate kept me out of anywhere? I’m not sure if they’re trying to keep the humans out or the midgets in? And if they were trying to keep the midgets in, did they really expect that this gate would keep them from escaping? Hell, they probably just walked right out underneath it.

5. The Road to Midgetville There’s a path to the left and the road straight ahead. We’ll go straight ahead. To the left you can get to a few houses, but the road that lies dead ahead is where all the action takes place. It’s just a “short” hop down the road to the community.

6. Our First Stop House #1: Remember, the top of the boarded up window is only roughly six feet off the ground. Notice the trees on the sides of the house and how thin the trunk of the trees are. (Note: not the two thick ones behind the house) They are maybe only two inches in diameter and tower over the house.

7. The Party House House #2: The red and yellow lights strung across the front really schnazzed up the joint. By adding them, the property value decreased.

8. House #3 Notice the thin tree that’s sort of between the two windows. Rumor has it that when the midget children would get grounded, they’d sneak out this window, and climb down this tree to go out at night.

9. House #5 and it’s Evil Tale In this house once lived a very deranged “midge”. He wore tin foil on his big head because he thought the tall ones were trying to steal his thoughts. One day, the voices just became too much & told him to kill himself. He came over to this window with the curtains, climbed onto the ledge and tried jumping to his death. He lived because he landed on his big head.

10. House #4A 2-Story Colonial That’s right! Those windows you see are actually on the second floor! And there’s a nice screened in porch. I’ve sat back there and drank a few half - pints of beer with the owner.

11. House #7A Nice Cape Coda.k.a. Cape Crap I walked through the door & hit my head on the rafter. Look at how big the door is compared to the rest of the house. I guess they don’t make midget doors. When’s the last time you could run & jump into a house through the window?

12. House #6Let The Truth Be ToldHow the midgets came to be extinct Here’s a house from the other side of the street. All the midgets died off due to an outbreak of “smallpox”. (Alright, how many more small jokes can I get in) I was a bit confused because there are an awful lot of pool tarps, yet I never saw one pool...much less a “midge” in a Speedo.

13. House #8 - Waterfront Real Estate Behind this house is water. I’m standing on the front porch. Notice how close my head comes to the roof. I’m not even fully standing up straight because I was afraid to hit my head. P.S. I don’t think midgets suck. In case your wondering who took the picture, I got one of the midgets who still lived there to take it; he was pulling up to his house in a lowrider. Actually, I set the camera on a 4x4 post that only stuck out of the ground roughly two and a half feet. I bet it was probably used for their mailbox.

14. House #8 And It’s Graffiti I’m squatting to get a feel for their point of view.

15. Just imagine: laying out near the water next to your beautiful house. House #8 Continued This probably has the potential to be a nice piece of property. All you’d have to do is bulldoze down the house & spray the area with a big ass can of Lysol to get rid of midget germs.

16. House #9Wow! Is this a really stimulating photo or what? I just took this photo as proof of houses on the other street. There’s a nice picture of a dwarf tree next to the stump and a midget bunny if you can spot him. Alright, I’m running out of funny. At least I got in another short joke.

17. You are at the > looking at x. House # 10 The next few slides will show close ups of the trash starting from left to right.

18. I’m not sure what type of house this is? It’s either a Rauncher or a Dump-plex. House #11

19. House #12 A Midget Mobile Home This mobile home was towed here on the back of a go-cart. I don’t think it’s a double wide, but it’s definitely a double high.

20. The End Hope you enjoyed your little visit to Midgetville. Now you can provide proof to your friends when they doubt the existence of this elusive paradise. Before it was shut down and boarded up, we used to get drunk, drive slowly into Midgetville, blare our horns and yell fuck you midgets as we tore out of there. Now, I can’t say that we ever saw someone chasing us out of there because we didn’t stick around long enough. But in my mind there’s nothing scarier than being chased by a pack of midgets. Next PowerPoint will highlight either Amputeeland or Conjoined Twin Culdesac. This has been a Club Habel Productions