Once Upon a Time

1. Once Upon a Time Writing Effective Narratives

2. Narrative Openings • Read the beginning paragraph(s) of each of the sample stories. • For each opening, write 2-3 sentences with your observations: • Identify the point of view the story is written in. • Describe the setting, atmosphere, and characters you learned about in the opening. • Evaluate whether you want to keep reading as a result of this opening.

3. Narrative Openings Bartholomew and the Oobleckby Dr. Suess They still talk about it in the Kingdom of Didd as The-Year-the-King-Got-Angry-with-the-Sky. And they still talk about the page boy, Bartholomew Cubbins. If it hadn’t been for Bartholomew Cubbins, that King and that Sky would have wrecked that little Kingdom. Sundiata: Lion King of Maliby David Wisniewski Listen to me, children of the Bright Country, and hear the great deeds of ages past. The words I speak are those of my father and his father before him, pure and full of truth. For we are griots. Centuries of law and learning reside within our minds. Thus we serve kings with the wisdom of history, bringing to life the lessons of the past so that the future may flourish. Listen, then, to the story of Sundiata, the Lion King, who overcame all things to walk with greatness. The Making of a Knightby Patrick O’Brien “I am Sir James! I have come to fight for England!” James burst into his father’s room, his wooden sword slashing in the air before him. He imagined he was wearing a suit of shining armor, traveling the countryside in search of adventure.

4. Narrative Openings • An effective narrative opening should: • Engage the reader • Establish a context • Establish a point of view

5. Narrative Openings: Engage the Reader • Ways to hook the reader: • Make the reader feel some emotion: anger, fear, pity, sadness, humor , shock, etc. • Use dialogue • Include entertaining descriptions • Add mystery; make your reader curious what will happen

6. Narrative Openings: Context • Using your narrative research, include some of the following in your narrative opening: • Setting: the when and where • Atmosphere: the what • Including some context helps your reader instantly understand when and where the story might be; it’s like giving them sign posts to let them know where they are. • Do not directly tell the reader these details. Hint at them through your description and dialogue. Your reader should have to make inferences!

7. Narrative Openings • Are the following narrative openings enough to grab your attention? • Edgar, the newest squire to Lord Hasselhoff, hadn’t meant to start a fire in the castle’s kitchen. Of course, he planned to blame it on the steward. • Jimmy was a page in a castle in the Middle Ages. • Hilda searched through the waste after market day. The muddy streets smelled awful, but she hadn’t eaten in days. • “Look at that beautiful lady,” Sir Winchester whispered to his squire. “I wonder if she will be at the tournament tomorrow.” • Djallan was the name of a prince in Konate. • From the day he was born, Djallan bore the curse of the evil sorcerer Mansa Konkon. Though his long robes covered the scars, Djallan could never hide his shame.

8. Practice Narrative Openings • Write several versions of the opening for your narrative, attempting different details for the context and ways of engaging the reader.

9. Narrative Openings: Point of ViewHow are the following different? • I couldn’t believe that my parents were actually going to make me marry a slimy, ugly, bulgy-eyed frog! • The princess worried every minute of every day, trying to think of a way to get out of her promise. • Once upon a time there was a princess who would have been perfectly happy except for one thing: In a moment of weakness, she had promised to marry a frog. Her father felt sorry for her, but he insisted that she keep her word.

10. Narrative Openings: Point of View • Point of view refers to the perspective (a character’s thoughts and feelings) from which the author tells the story. • Point of view should be consistent throughout the story.

11. Narrative Openings: Point of View • First person: the point of view of one character, “I” • The princess worried every minute of every day, trying to think of a way to get out of her promise. • Third person limited: narrator tells the point of view of one character; “he”, “she”, “it”, “they” • The princess tried desperately to get out of her promise. • Third Person omniscient: all knowing, narrator gives the point of view of many characters • Once upon a time there was a princess who would have been perfectly happy except for one thing: In a moment of weakness, she had promised to marry a frog. Her father felt sorry for her, but he insisted that she keep her word.

12. Narrative Openings: Point of ViewWhat is the p.o.v. of each story? • Bartholomew and the Oobleckby Dr. Seuss • “Bartholomew had seen the King get angry many, many times before. But that year when His Majesty started growling at the sky, Bartholomew Cubbins just didn’t know what to make of it.” • Third person limited • Good Masters! Sweet Ladies!by Laura Amy Schlitz • “I am Jacob ben Saloman, son of the Jew.” • First person

13. Narrative Openings: Point of ViewWhat is the p.o.v. of each story? • Sundiata: Lion King of Maliby David Wisniewski • “But the new prince, Sundiata, though blessed by the spirits of buffalo and lion, proved unable to speak or walk. At this, SassoumaBerete rejoiced. For seven years Sogolon tried in vain to heal her son with potions and herbs. Sundiata dragged himself through the palace, ignored by some, ridiculed by others. His mother was heartbroken and his father despaired. • Third person omniscient

14. Narrative Techniques: Description • When writing a narrative: show, don’t tell. • The peasant was very frightened. • The peasant nearly jumped out of his bright green stockings; he screeched and crouched down in terror. • Try re-writing the following to be more descriptive: • The king was very disrespectful to the court jester. • The princess was sad.

15. Narrative Techniques: Description • Sensory adjectives: sight, sound, taste, smell, touch • “Up from their musty hole beneath the dungeon, up the empty midnight tunnel to the royal bedchamber tower, came the magicians on their padded, shuffling feet.” • “Make magic smoke, green, thick and hot! (It sure smells dreadful, does it not?)” • Strong verbs • “To the trumpeter’s tower raced Bartholomew Cubbins, and on up the steps four at a time…He yanked the covers off the snoring trumpeter. He shoved his cold trumpet right into his sleepy hands.” • Similes: comparisons with “like” or “as” • “At first it seemed like a little greenish cloud…” • “It was battering and spattering against the walls as big as greenish buckets full of gooey asparagus soup.”

16. Narrative Techniques: Dialogue • Dialogue Tags: • Dialogue tags let the reader know who is talking. • Dialogue tags can be at the beginning, middle or end of dialogue. • Use strong verbs: avoid boring dialogue tags like he said and she asked; instead try she giggled, he interrupted, they pleaded.

17. Narrative Techniques: Dialogue • Dialogue Rules: • Indent (start a new paragraph) each time someone new is speaking. • Use quotations marks to surround spoken words. • Add punctuation between the dialogue and the tag. If the dialogue is before the tag, the punctuation is inside the quotes. If the tag is before the dialogue, put a comma before the quotation marks. • “I don’t know what to do about the lack of food in this kitchen,” moaned the peasant. • “Fetch me some water for this fire, page boy!” screeched the knight. • “Where can a knight get a good meal around here?” inquired Sir Galahad. • Sir Gawain demanded, “Tell me where that gold is hidden!” • “No,” stated the princess, “I will not be going to the royal stables today.”

18. Practice Narrative Techniques: Dialogue Practice adding the punctuation, quotation marks, and tags to following sentences: • I can’t go to the royal ball because I have no way to get there • Will you be participating in the joust tomorrow • There are flames bursting from the royal kitchen • The king ordered the court jester executed • I say we dig our way out of this musty dungeon

19. Narrative Techniques: Description and Dialogue • Description and Dialogue: • Help a reader visualize the story • Develop characters • Develop plot events (conflict, climax, resolution) • When you add dialogue and description, reflect on the purpose of each addition. You want every word in your story to matter!

20. Revising for Description and Dialogue • Using a purple pen, circle at least three places in your narrative that could use more descriptions. Write your descriptions on the skipped lines to add in your final draft. Reference your list of sensory words. • Using a blue pen, circle any dialogue tags in your story. If they are weak verbs, write in strong verbs to use instead. Reference your list of special tags. • Using a red pen, check the punctuation of all dialogue in your story. If necessary, add quotation marks and punctuation. If you didn’t indent, draw in red arrows to remind yourself for the final draft.

21. Revising for Description and Dialogue The King got out of his bed sheets. By my whiskers, it is he said. Oh that Oobleck! And it’s mine! All mine! I don’t like the looks of those blobs, Sire said Bartholomew. They’re bigger now.

22. Revising for Description and Dialogue The King got out of his bed sheets. “By my ^sprang ^royal  whiskers, it is,” he said. “Oh that Oobleck! And it’s ^royal whiskers ^he cried. mine! All mine!”“I don’t like the looks of those blobs,  Sire,” said Bartholomew. “They’re bigger now.” ^worried Bartholomew.

23. Revising for Description and Dialogue The King sprang out of his royal bed sheets. “By my whiskers, it is!” he cried. “Oh that Oobleck! And it’s mine! All mine!” “I don’t like the looks of those blobs, Sire,” worried Bartholomew. “They’re as big as greenish peanuts now.”

24. Narrative Techniques: Pacing and Transitions • Pace your narrative by balancing events with description; don’t go too fast or too slow. • Use transitions along with pacing to help orient the reader and keep them on track. • Use pacing and transitions: • To show the order of events • To move from one time or place to another • To show the relationship between events

25. Narrative Conclusions • Narrative conclusions should cause the reader to reflect on the story and life. • Create narrative conclusions with the change that a character experiences or the lesson he/she learns. • For each of the following stories, examine the author’s conclusion. • Explain what the author most likely intends the reader to be reflecting on. • How does the author achieve this effect?

26. Narrative Conclusions • Sundiata: Lion King of Mali by David Wisniewski Sundiata spoke softly and BallaFasseke conveyed his words to the multitude. “Hatred drove me from this land,” he said, “because of what I seemed to be: a crawling child, unworthy of respect and unfit to rule. Mali has suffered great hardship as a result. “Now I return as your king. Henceforth, none shall interefere with another’s destiny. You, your children, and your children’s children shall find their appointed place within this land forever.” This came to pass, and Sundiata, the Lion King, ruled the Bright Country for many golden years.

27. Narrative Conclusions • Bartholomew and the Oobleck by Dr. Seuss Maybe there was something magic in those simple words, “I’m sorry.” Maybe there was something magic in those simple worlds, “It’s all my fault.” Maybe there was, and maybe there wasn’t. But they say that as soon as the old King spoke them, the sun began to shine and fight its way through the storm. They say that the falling oobleck blobs grew smaller and smaller and smaller. They say that all the oobleck that was stuck on all the people and on all the animals of the Kingdom of Didd just simply, quietly melted away. And then, they say, Bartholomew took the old King by the sleeve… …and led him up the steps of the high bell tower. He put the bell rope into His Majesty’s royal hands and the King himself rang the holiday bell. Then the King proclaimed a brand-new national holiday… in honor of the four perfect things that come down from the sky. The King now knew that these four old-fashioned things…the rain, the sunshine, the fog and the snow…were good enough for any king in all the world, especially for him, old King Derwin of Didd.

28. Revising for Transitions and Conclusion • Using a black pen, underline the transitions you already have. In the skipped lines, add any new transitions using your list provided. • Read your conclusion to see if your ending is reflective and provides a lesson for the character or reader. • If so, double underline this lesson with your pencil. • If not, add an additional paragraph that sums up the message of the story.

29. Works Cited • Forney, Melissa. Razzle Dazzle Writing: Achieving Excellence Through 50 Target Skills. Gainesville, FL: Maupin House Publishing, 2001. • O’Brien, Patrick. The Making of a Knight: How Sir James of a Knight. Watertown, MA: Charlesbridge, 1998. • Schlitz, Laura Amy. Good Masters! Sweet Ladies! Voices from a Medieval Village. Somerville, MA: Candlewick Press, 2007. • Seuss, D. Bartholomew and the Oobleck. New York: Random House, 1976. • Wisniewski, David. Sundiata: Lion King of Mali. New York: Clarion Books, 1992.