Chapter 11: Home—the Basis of a Righteous Life

1. Chapter 11: Home—the Basis of a Righteous Life “The more surely you rear your children in the ways of the gospel of Jesus Christ, with love and high expectation, the more likely that there will be peace in their lives.”

2. From the Life of Gordon B. Hinckley In late 1973, Gordon and Marjorie Hinckley reluctantly decided to move from their home in East Mill Creek, Utah, so they could live closer to Church headquarters in Salt Lake City. President Hinckley, who was then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, took time on New Year’s Eve of that year to write about their home. His words revealed his feelings about the place, but even more, they revealed his feelings about a loving family.

3. Family relationships are the most sacred of all relationships. The family is divine. It was instituted by our Heavenly Father. It encompasses the most sacred of all relationships. Only through its organization can the purposes of the Lord be fulfilled.4 It is imperative that you not neglect your families. Nothing you have is more precious.6 How might it affect the way we prioritize our time and activities? How might this truth affect our relationships with family members?

4. Fathers and mothers have the privilege of caring for their children and teaching them the gospel of Jesus Christ. We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility.7 (D&C 121:41–42), (D&C 68:25, 28.) Why should parents “devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles”? How has gospel teaching in your home blessed your family?

5. Through family prayer, children grow with faith in the living God. Behold your little ones. Pray with them. Pray for them and bless them. The world into which they are moving is a complex and difficult world. They will run into heavy seas of adversity. They will need all the strength and all the faith you can give them while they are yet near you. And they also will need a greater strength which comes of a higher power. They must do more than go along with what they find. They must lift the world, and the only levers they will have are the example of their own lives and the powers of persuasion that will come of their testimonies and their knowledge of the things of God. They will need the help of the Lord. While they are young, pray with them that they may come to know that source of strength which shall then always be available in every hour of need.11 Why do you think family prayer brings blessings? What blessings have you experienced by having regular family prayer?

6. Family home evening can draw parents and children together in learning the ways of the Lord. I can remember when I was a small boy, five years old, President Joseph F. Smith announced to all the Church that they should gather their families together in family home evening. My father said, “The President of the Church has asked that we do it, and we are going to do it.” So we all gathered in family home evening. It was funny. He said, “We’ll sing a song.” Well, we were not singers. … We just tried to sing and laughed at one another. So we did with a lot of other things. But out of that experience there gradually came something that was wonderful—a practice that helped us, that drew us together as a family, that strengthened us, and there grew in our hearts a conviction of the value of family home evening.13 What blessings have come to your family through family home evening?

7. Parents should begin to teach their children when the children are very young. Isa. 54:13 “Gather your children about you, teach them, bear testimony to them, read the scriptures together and have a good time together.”

8. If children rebel, parents should continue to pray for them, love them, and reach out to them. I recognize that there are parents who, notwithstanding an outpouring of love and a diligent and faithful effort to teach them, see their children grow in a contrary manner and weep while their wayward sons and daughters willfully pursue courses of tragic consequence. For such I have great sympathy, and to them I am wont to quote the words of Ezekiel: “The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son” (Ezekiel 18:20).18 What are some ways that parents and others can reach out in love?

9. We strengthen our families as we seek heaven’s help and nurture a spirit of love and respect for each other. [Raising a family] may not be easy. It may be fraught with disappointment and challenge. It will require courage and patience. … Love can make the difference—love generously given in childhood and reaching through the awkward years of youth. It will do what money lavished on children will never do. Why is it important for parents to discipline their children with love rather than anger? What are some things parents can do to discipline with love? How can family members nurture a spirit of love and respect for each other?