CHAPTER 3

1. CHAPTER 3 Composing Business Messages

2. Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense (are capable of standing alone). subjectverb Employeessend many e-mail messages.

3. Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases Effective Sentences dependent clause independent clause When you speak, you reveal yourself. Clauses also have subjects and verbs. Independent clauses can stand alone. Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning.

4. Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases Effective Sentences phrase phrase In the afternoon, I work at the mall. Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs.

5. Sentence fragment Fragment Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Revision: Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied. Avoid sentence fragments.

6. Run on sentences Run-on Sentence Two candidates applied only one was hired. Avoid run- on sentences. Revisions: Two candidates applied. Only one was hired. Two candidates applied; only one was hired. Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

7. Comma splices Avoid comma- splice sentences. Comma Splice Many were qualified, Jeff was hired. Revisions: Many were qualified. Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired. Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

8. Quick Check Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers. You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers. • Send a scannable résumé. When you apply for a job. Send a scannable résumé when you apply for a job.

9. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand. Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand. • College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees. College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.

10. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before. • Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are . . . .

11. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports. Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read . . . .

12. Emphasis Through Mechanics Italics and Boldface: The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention. All Caps: Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands out. Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer?

13. Emphasis Through Mechanics Dashes: Other methods–including dashes–may be used. Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

14. Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in business letters?     Emphasis Through Mechanics

15.     Emphasis Through Mechanics Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in memos?

16.     Emphasis Through Mechanics Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in e-mail messages?

17. Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style To emphasize an idea Use a vivid expression, such as in bug-free software rather than dependable software. Label the idea with expressions such as more importantly,the principal reason, or the best alternative. Put the important idea first or last in the sentence. Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause.

18. Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style To de-emphasize an idea • Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained). • Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea. Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returned purchases.

19. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Most major employers require drug testing. • (Active voice; the subject is acting) Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job. • (Active voice; the subject is acting) Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action.

20. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Inpassive-voicesentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs: Drug testing is required by most major employers. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon) Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

21. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Use the active voice for most business writing. Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (New laws were passed; drunk drivers were targeted). Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer . . .).

22. Quick Check Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. Our membership meeting was postponed by the president. The president postponed our membership meeting. The résumés of job candidates are sorted quickly by the software program Resumix. The software program Resumix sorts résumés of job candidates quickly.

23. Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. All team messages are sent by e-mail. Team members send all messages by e-mail. Drug tests are required of all new employees. The company requires drug tests for all new employees.

24. Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject. We were given our orders by the manager. The manager gave us our orders. Our intranet is used by employees to complete forms. Employees use our intranet to complete forms.

25. Convert the following sentences to passive voice. We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand. Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand. Management rejected our plan. Our plan was rejected by management.

26. Convert the following sentences to passive voice. The technician could not install the computer program. The computer program could not be installed. Someone did not submit the accounting statement on time. The accounting statement was not submitted on time.

27. Poor Parallel Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and challenging. (Matches -ing verbals) Developing Parallelism Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and a challenge. Parallel expression uses balanced construction. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.

28. Poor Parallel We are very concerned with the quality, location, and transportation costs of raw materials. (Matches nouns) Developing Parallelism We are very concerned with the quality of raw materials, where they are located, and how much it costs to transport them.

29. Poor Parallel Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and Yolanda sends the items. (Matches active-voice verbs) Developing Parallelism Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and the items are sent by Yolanda.

30. Quick Check How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices. Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices.

31. How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? The fall seminar is in October, December is scheduled for the winter seminar, and May is the month of the spring seminar. The fall seminar is in October, the winter seminar is in December, and the spring seminar is in May.

32. How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence. We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.

33. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be particularly careful to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.

34. Poor Revised After considering the problem carefully, management suggested new procedures. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers After considering the problem carefully, new procedures were suggested by management.

35. Poor Revised Any student who is enrolled in the college has full online privileges. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Any student has full online privileges who is enrolled in the college.

36. Poor Revised It’s hard to under- stand why employees with software problems would not go to our technical support staff. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers It’s hard to under- stand why employees would not go to our technical support staff with software problems.

37. Poor Revised Using a search engine, we finally located the Web site. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Using a search engine, the Web site was finally located.

38. Quick Check Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. To be hired, two years of experience is required. To be hired, one must have two years of experience. Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster. Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed.

39. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. By advertising extensively, all open jobs were filled quickly. By advertising extensively, we filled all open jobs quickly. After leaving the office, Jeff's car would not start. After leaving the office, Jeff could not start his car.

40. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases. She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88. At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born. Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again. Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again.

41. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. To receive an employment form, fill out this application. (Tricky!) The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command.

42. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence To help guide your reader or listener from one thought to another, develop coherence by using one of these devices: • Repeat a key idea or key words. Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Web site. The promotion will involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

43. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence • Use a pronoun. Considerable interest is being shown in our extended certificates of deposit. They are more profitable when left on deposit for long periods.

44. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence • Use an appropriate transitional expression. • Time Association • before, after • first, second • meanwhile • next • until • when, whenever

45. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Cause–Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand

46. TIP: Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence Illustration in this way for example Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover similarly

47. Composing the First Draft Complete all necessary research. Find a quiet place to concentrate and work. Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions. Organize information into an outline. Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting) OR revise as you go. Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

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