WORK-LIFE BALANCE: Learning to Practice What You Preach

WORK-LIFE BALANCE: Learning to Practice What You Preach Rebecca Kennedy, PhD American College Health Association June 1, 2011

Why is it important to be dually satisfied with your work and personal life? • Attain life satisfaction • Maintain ability to do good work with clients/patients • Maintain healthy relationships • Be a role model for your clients/patients • Avoid burnout • Avoid compassion fatigue • Avoid chronic disease caused by prolonged stress • What else?

Work-Life Balance Journal Exercise 1: Eulogy

How do you want to be remembered? • What are the major contributions that you would like to be remembered for? • Is there a slogan/phrase that represents how you want to be remembered? (never met a stranger etc.) • Is there anything you want to make sure is not part of your Eulogy? – Cats in the cradle song • Who/what are the “rocks” in your life that you want to be sure you are remembered for or by?

What are the major elements of your life that you are trying to keep in balance? • Children • Spouse/marriage/romantic relationship • Household responsibilities • Parents/siblings/family • Friends • Church • Physical health/fitness • Work • Personal growth • Self-care/relaxation

Exercise 2: Top 10 list Put a rating next to each of the major elements in your life to signify how satisfied you are at present with the allocation each of them has. 0 = no satisfaction with the current allocation 5 = medium satisfaction with the current allocation 10 = perfect satisfaction with the current allocation

Exercise 3: Factor interference/facilitation For each of your Top Ten priorities take a few minutes and journal about the allocation rating you assigned it. • For those with lower satisfaction ratings – what factors are interfering with your ability to allocate more time/energy to this priority? • For those with higher satisfaction ratings – what factors promote/facilitate your ability to allocate more time/energy to this priority? • Note any themes that are evident as you look at your responses to items one and two.

Common Conflicts • “I have multiple priorities in my life that compete for my time and I have trouble deciding where to put my energy at any given time.” • “I have a few priorities in my life that I could seemingly devote unending time to and therefore have a hard time knowing what a healthy balance is.” • “I have things that I know I should do, or even that I want to do, but I can’t seem to find time for them.” • “I seem to be always putting out fires or doing things that have to be done such as household responsibilities and rarely have anything left for my other priorities. • “I feel like everything and everyone in my life is getting short-changed –especially me!”

Common Conflicts for Helping Professionals • “My patients/clients need me!” • “I’m so busy taking care of others there is little left for me.” • “I am exhausted by the time I get home and can hardly find the energy to make dinner much less do much else.” • “Emergencies arise unpredictably and I have to attend to them.” • What else?

Exercise 4: Pros and Cons Step 1: List the Pros Journal some of the reasons that you like the current balance you have and how you will maintain it. Step 2: List the Cons Journal some of the reasons that you dislike the current balance and why you are considering a different balance. Step 3: Assign weights Journal about the process of assigning weights and the struggle that you experience as you do this.

A paradigm case of behavior change Woman wants to lose weight She has reasons to do it… She has reasons NOT to do it… At any given time the weights she assigns to the pros and cons change…INSTANTLY If she consistently does the things that she needs to do to lose weight, she likely will… If she does not, she likely will not… To lose weight she will have to consistently act upon her reasons to do it, rather than her reasons not to. She will not be able to be ambivalent and hold the reasons to and not to at equal weight.

It makes sense why you have chosen what you have chosen. • Whether you like the end product or final allocation, the process has made sense and you likely had good reason in each moment to do what you did. • Given what you did, you likely did with good reason, what makes you think you won’t do the same thing under the same circumstances in the future? • Exercise 5: What needs to change for you choose differently in the future?

Transtheoretical Model • Precontemplation is the stage in which people are not intending to take action in the foreseeable future, usually measured as the next six months. • Contemplation is the stage in which people are intending to change in the next six months. • Preparation is the stage in which people are intending to take action in the immediate future, usually measured as the next month. • Action is the stage in which people have made specific overt modifications in their life-styles within the past six months. • Maintenance is the stage in which people are working to prevent relapse but they do not apply change processes as frequently as do people in action. They are less tempted to relapse and increasingly more confident that they can continue their change.

Exercise 6: What stage are you in? Take one of your priorities in which you would like to reallocate more time. • What stage of change are you currently in according to the Transtheorectical model? • What do you think you will have to do to change the decisional balance consistently enough to move you to the next stage? (Remember that something has to give with each change) • And the next stage? • And the next stage…until you reach maintenance?

Exercise 7: List ‘em! Think about your own unique situation. • Think outside the box…what are three to five ways in which you can take action toward better work life balance? • What will you have to give up or do differently? (Take oreos rather than home baked cookies) • What will you gain? (Time for self-care) • How can you take some of these action steps and move them to habit or maintenance?

Exercise 8: Five Year Pilot Plan What do you think is reasonable to strive to change in the first year? …second year? …third year? …fourth year? …are we there yet? …fifth year?

A little advice from Stephen R. Covey 1) take responsibility for, and become the creative force of, our lives; 2) decide what’s most important in our whole lives–developing a vision and deep commitment to the “first things” of life and; 3) to then put those first things first and organize our lives around our priorities.

Questions and Comments

Contact Information Rebecca Kennedy, PhD Director, Health and Counseling Services Bldg. 19, Room 106(850) 474-2420 rkennedy@uwf.edu

References • Bergner, R.M. (1993). Status Dynamics: Creating New Paths to Therapeutic Change. Ann Arbor, MI: Burns Park Publishers. • Covey, S.R. (1990). The Seven Habitsof Highly Effective People : Restoring the Character Ethic. New York : Fireside Book. • Covey, S.R., Merrill, A.R. & Merrill, R.R. (1997). First things first every day : because where you're headed is more important than how fast you're going. New York : Simon & Schuster. • Pickett, R. (2008) Worklife Balance. Retrieved October 15, 2009, from http://www.labmanager.com/articles.asp?ID=516 • Prochaska, J.0. & DiClemente, C.C. (1984). The transtheoretical approach: Crossing traditional boundaries of therapy. Homewood, IL: Dow Jones Irwin. • Prochaska, J.O., Velicer, WE, DiClemente, C.C., Guadagnoli, E., & Rossi, J.(1990). Patterns of change: Dynamic typology applied to smoking cessation. Multivariate Behavior Research, 25, 587-611. • Rauth, S. Reviewed by Grayson Mathis, C.E. (2006). Five Tips for Better Work-Life Balance: WebMD guides you through 5 practical steps toward better work-life balance. Retrieved October 15, 2009, from http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/5-strategies-for-life-balance

WORK-LIFE BALANCE: Learning to Practice What You Preach