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Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders. M inistrY L IFT Conference Session Friday, October 4, 2013. Presented by: Don and Deb Schuiling. Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders. Theology of Marriage. Marriage reflects the relational aspect of the Trinity.
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Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders MinistrYLIFT Conference Session Friday, October 4, 2013 Presented by: Don and Deb Schuiling
Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Theology of Marriage • Marriage reflects the relational aspect of the Trinity. • Marriage involves living out the challenge and blessing of oneness and plurality. • The principle of “leave and cleave.” Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Family and Ministry as System Ministry System Structure Behavior Expectations Norms Homeostatic features Culture Hierarchy Boundaries Family System Structure Behavior Expectations Family of Origin Roles Responsibilities Hierarchy Boundaries Interaction Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Marriage/Ministry System Intersection • Marriage/Family System • Ministry families are first and foremost families, just like every other family system. • Ministry System • Family systems interact with larger outside systems, such as the church, and the seemingly unbending rules cannot help but influence the interaction. Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Marriage/Ministry System Intersection • Family and Ministry Life Cycles • Boundary Issues • The ‘Stained Glass Fishbowl’ Syndrome • The ‘God Card’ • Roles Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Explore Your Own Unique Reality • What would be some “unspoken” expectations that you face? • Where are you in your marriage/ministry system? How is your ministry impacting your marriage? • What are some ‘Stained Glass House’ themes that you think would be good to talk to each other/your kids about? How would you approach the issue? Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Protect Your Marriage • Effective Friendship Building • Turning towards • Rituals of Connection • Listening as Sacred Space Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Protect Your Marriage • Emotional Availability • Stress Reducing Conversation • Boundaries • Holding Fast to What Grounds You Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Prevention and Repair • …give time to our marriages, intentionally building, growing and developing this most important relationship… • Resources: • Seminars/Enrichment • Ministry Couple Ministries • Websites • DVD Series • Build A Network • Private Therapy • Books Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders A Final Illustration … … why your marriage and family needs to be your first priority. Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders
Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders Healthy Marriages, Healthy Leaders