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第五单元 段落翻译. 主要内容. 5.1 英汉段落比较 5.2 逻辑关联 5.3 顺序调整. 秭佩先生是一位勤勤恳恳的文学翻译家,他一生共翻译了奥斯丁、毛姆、泰罗普等人的作品达 300 多万字。其译作规范畅达,译笔传神,至今为人们所称道。在他翻译的 《 傲慢与偏见 》 中,原文有这样一个段落:
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主要内容 • 5.1 英汉段落比较 • 5.2 逻辑关联 • 5.3 顺序调整
秭佩先生是一位勤勤恳恳的文学翻译家,他一生共翻译了奥斯丁、毛姆、泰罗普等人的作品达300多万字。其译作规范畅达,译笔传神,至今为人们所称道。在他翻译的《傲慢与偏见》中,原文有这样一个段落:秭佩先生是一位勤勤恳恳的文学翻译家,他一生共翻译了奥斯丁、毛姆、泰罗普等人的作品达300多万字。其译作规范畅达,译笔传神,至今为人们所称道。在他翻译的《傲慢与偏见》中,原文有这样一个段落: About thirty years ago, Miss Maria Ward, of Huntingdon, with only seven thousand pounds, had the good luck to captivate Sir Thomas Bertram, of Mansfield Park, in the country of Northampton, with all the comforts and consequences of a handsome house and large income. All Huntingdon exclaimed on the greatness of the match, and her uncle, the lawyer, himself allowed her be at least three thousand pounds short of any equitable claim to it. 在翻译中,如果把 “seven thousand pounds”、“three thousand pounds”所处的两个句子分别按字面译出来,读者就会不知所云。秭佩先生从把握该段落的整体意义出发,推理出这两个短语都指的是“Miss Maria Ward”为了实现和“Sir Thomas Bertram”之间的“the match”而须准备的嫁妆,因此,便把“seven thousand pounds”译为成了“七千镑的陪嫁”,从而实现了译文的连贯和畅达。
一般而言,实际的翻译操作大多以句子为基本翻译单位,但句子只是段落、篇章及整部作品的基本意义单位,语段才是篇章的基本结构单位。结构在先,操作在后,才能做到胸有成竹。具体说来,翻译先以语段为结构单位(必要时上及篇章),对句间逻辑关系、词义、句义以及语段结构有充分性认识,把原语结构转换成目的语结构;根据目的语结构需要,运用词性转换、词句调整、增减词语(主要是连接词语)等手段使目的语语段浑然一体。一般而言,实际的翻译操作大多以句子为基本翻译单位,但句子只是段落、篇章及整部作品的基本意义单位,语段才是篇章的基本结构单位。结构在先,操作在后,才能做到胸有成竹。具体说来,翻译先以语段为结构单位(必要时上及篇章),对句间逻辑关系、词义、句义以及语段结构有充分性认识,把原语结构转换成目的语结构;根据目的语结构需要,运用词性转换、词句调整、增减词语(主要是连接词语)等手段使目的语语段浑然一体。 • 语段亦称句群或句子组合,是大于句子的语言片段。它是由两个或两个以上的句子构成的语义整体。构成语段的各个句子,结构上密切联系,意义上有向心性。它们以一定的语言手段(包括逻辑承接词、词汇的回指、语义连接等)组合起来,使语段之间既相互关联,又相对独立。
5.1 英汉段落比较 • 英语段落的构成大致可分为两类:一类是典型的“主题句——阐述句——总结构”结构,另一类则有点像汉语的以某一中心思想统领的形散神聚结构,但注重形合的英语常常用到许多表示衔接和连贯的连词,以便清楚的从形式上显现各种句际关系。典型英语段落的主题句标明段落的主题思想。一般来说,一个段落只有一个主题思想,如果将一个段落的主题句串起来,那么我们就可获得一个章节乃至整个篇章的主题思想。主题句一般都放在句首,接下来的句子必须在语义上与这一主题有直接关系,在逻辑上演绎严谨。这一特征在英语的论说文中表现得尤为突出。相比较而言,汉语段落通常都围绕一个较为含蓄的中心思想,其表述方式多为迂回式的,流散式的,句际之间的意义关联可以是隐约的,似断非断的。当然,也有不少十分注重逻辑推演的段落,句际之间环环相扣,但相当数量的汉语段落都是形分意合的,英语中常见的那些形形色色的连接词在这里常常被省去。
此外,在一个语段中,汉语句子一般按时间顺序排列,英语则不一定,句子成分或从句都可以插前补后,只要逻辑关系清楚;汉语句群可先总论或分说,也可先分说后总论,加上“总之”等词语。所以英译句群时,最重要的是弄清句群内有几层意思,各层意义之间的关系如何,还要考虑主次安排,将汉语的意念用恰当的英语形式表示出来。此外,在一个语段中,汉语句子一般按时间顺序排列,英语则不一定,句子成分或从句都可以插前补后,只要逻辑关系清楚;汉语句群可先总论或分说,也可先分说后总论,加上“总之”等词语。所以英译句群时,最重要的是弄清句群内有几层意思,各层意义之间的关系如何,还要考虑主次安排,将汉语的意念用恰当的英语形式表示出来。 • 比较一下英汉语段落构成情况,我们只能说它们同中有异,异中有同,异略大于同。英汉段落构成的异同,揭示了翻译中译者进行必要的调整变通的必要性,从而使译文段落逻辑关系更加明了,语序更加合理,脉络更加清晰。
5.2 逻辑关联 • “逻辑”一词源于希腊文,是由英语logic音译的,原意指思想、言辞、理性、规律性等。我国翻译史上的一代宗师严复是第一个将西方逻辑向中国作再传入的颇有影响的人物,将logic译为“逻辑”,这也是始于严复的。严复将逻辑看作“一切法之法,一切学之学”。也就是说,只有掌握了逻辑,才能学好其他科学知识。由此我们也不难想象,先生在翻译之时,对译文逻辑把握是很严格的,经常会为“一名之立,旬月踟蹰”。众所周知,东西方思维方式和思维角度的不同导致语言形式的不同,不同语言有各自的逻辑。这样,在翻译过程中,大多不能照搬原文结构,须根据译文的表达习惯,对原文结构进行转换,增删和调整。在实际翻译操作中,逻辑思维对于翻译的理解、分析、表达及译文校正等翻译的各个环节都起着不可忽视的作用。
例1:……烧山芋和热茶的香味,便一下子扑入你的鼻子。抬头看,四周闪着微笑的眼睛,欢迎着,丝毫没有怪你唐突的神情。你刚开口说由哪儿来的时候,一杯很热的浓茶,就递在你的下巴边上。老太婆吩咐她的孙女,快把火拨大些,多添点子柴,说是客人要烘暖他的身子;你暖和了,还不觉得疲倦的话,你可以摸摸小孩子的下巴,拧拧他们的脸蛋,做一点奇怪的样子,给他们嬉笑。例1:……烧山芋和热茶的香味,便一下子扑入你的鼻子。抬头看,四周闪着微笑的眼睛,欢迎着,丝毫没有怪你唐突的神情。你刚开口说由哪儿来的时候,一杯很热的浓茶,就递在你的下巴边上。老太婆吩咐她的孙女,快把火拨大些,多添点子柴,说是客人要烘暖他的身子;你暖和了,还不觉得疲倦的话,你可以摸摸小孩子的下巴,拧拧他们的脸蛋,做一点奇怪的样子,给他们嬉笑。 [译文] Immediately your nose is filled with the aroma of hot tea and roast sweet potatoes. When you look around you see friendly faces smiling at you; there is no hint of anything like blame for what elsewhere might be considered as brusqueness. Scarcely have you begun to tell them where you come from when a cup of hot and strong tea is handed over to you. Grandma will tell her granddaughter to make the fire bigger and feed it with more wood because the guest needs more heat to warm up. When you are recovered from coldness and fatigue, you may play with children, stroking them on the chin, giving them gentle pinches on the cheek or making a face to provoke them to gurgle. (---选自《散文佳作108篇》)
[分析] 在这一段话中,“火拨大些”和“多添点子柴”在动作上有先后之分,“说是客人要烘暖他的身子”对为什么要“拨火”和“添柴”起到解释作用,所以不妨加上连词because,显示其内在的逻辑关系。最后一句中由于动词较多,可以留一个动词作谓语动词,其余作表示伴随状况的分词,使句子结构更紧凑,更具粘着性。全段运用Immediately,When, Scarcely等词将各句衔接起来,译文段落的组织环环相扣,紧密和谐,反映了原文的脉络和意境. 然而在实际翻译过程中,我们“或由于对原文理解有误,或由于受原文语言结构和表现形式的干扰,往往掉进逻辑的陷阱而浑然不知”。我们不妨采石他山,用马红军在其著作《翻译批评散论》中的批判的一个例子也许能说明一些问题:
例2:Phoebe Anna was thin and black,a very umbrella of a woman. [原译] 安娜是一个又黑又瘦的女人,上身粗大,下身细长,简直像一把雨伞。 [分析]原译文首先肯定安娜这个女人“又黑又瘦”,却突然又言其“上身粗大”,既为“瘦”,又何来“粗”?这一命题显然前后矛盾,因为从逻辑上来说,“瘦”和“粗”是不相容的概念。 [改译] 安娜是一个又黑又瘦的女人,活像一把细长的雨伞。(马红军 译)
例3:The newspaper quoted the study as saying abortion may be responsible for as much as half the over-all reduction in the U.S. crime rate that occurred from 1991 to 1997. [原译] A.报纸引述研究结果:从1991年到1997年间,堕胎在美国总的犯罪率的降次幅度中大约占了一半的比率。 B.报界将这项研究引述为1991年至1997年间美国总体上犯罪率的下降半数是由于犯罪计划胎死腹中而造成的。 [分析] 译文A似乎把“堕胎”当作“犯罪”了,而译文B却理解为美国的犯罪计划竟然有“半数”胎死腹中。仅此两点,就让我们感到译者的逻辑推理出现了问题。 [改译] 报纸引述这项研究说道,堕胎也许对于从1991年到1997年间美国的犯罪率的全面下降起到了一半的作用。 (毛荣贵 译)
例4:Some parents simply cannot stand letting their baby cry until he or she learns to fall asleep on their own, or when the baby awakens in the middle of the night. Most expert advice suggests this is shortsighted. [原译] 有些父母亲,一刻也不愿意看到婴儿哭哭啼啼,除非婴儿自己睡着了或半夜里醒来。大多数专家的意见表明这是一种目光短浅的做法。 [分析] 英语是一种“形合语言”(a Language of Hypotaxis),所以英语句子非常欣赏逻辑性。一般说来,英语句子逻辑标志(logic markers)非常明显,就表层结构而言,英语喜欢将句子内涵的逻辑“外化”,即用形形色色的连接词来明示其逻辑关系。比如该原文中until he or she learns to fall asleep on their own, or when the baby awakens in the middle of the night一句时间概念清晰,逻辑层次分明。译者当条分缕析,梳理得当,而不能只是简单的文字堆砌,译成“除非婴儿自己睡着了或半夜里醒来”,逻辑上似有前言不搭后语之嫌。 [改译] 有些家长根本无法忍受婴儿自己学会入睡之前的啼哭,或是半夜里婴儿醒来时的啼哭。大多数专家的意见表明这是一种短见。
例5:Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was a stern challenge. Consider these factors:a1.5 million action movie that was to be a poignant, tragic romance. Fight choreographer, Yuen Wo-ping (of international acclaim for The Matrix), was bound to tangle with soft-spoken, but stubborn, Lee. A top-flight pan-Asian cast featuring Chow Yun Fat (Hong Kong), Michelle Yeoh (Malaysia), Zhang Ziyi (Beijing) and Chang Chen (Taiwan), with only 19-year-old ingénue, Zhang, speaking the classical mainland Mandarin that Lee demanded. [原译]拍摄《卧虎藏龙》是一个严峻的挑战。想一想以下这些因素:这部耗资150万美元的武打片定位于拍成一部深刻而带有悲伤色彩的浪漫剧。由于《黑客帝国》而享誉国际影视界的武术指导袁和平注定要和那位说话声音柔和但生性执拗的李安打得不可开交。这支由一流的泛亚明星组成的班子里,可谓群星璀璨,有来自香港的周润发、马来西亚的杨紫琼、北京的章子怡以及台湾的张震。年仅19岁的章子怡操着一口标准的大陆普通话,而这正是李安需要的。
[分析]这个段落中隐含的是因果关系,文中列举的三个因素都应该是给拍摄《卧虎藏龙》带来严峻挑战的原因。而原译中只有前两个因素叙述了拍摄该片所遇到的艰难,第三个因素给读者的感觉更像是有利条件。 [改译]拍摄《卧虎藏龙》是一个严峻的挑战。想一想以下这些因素:这是一部耗资150万美元的武打大片,却定位于拍成一部深刻而带有悲伤色彩的浪漫剧。由于《黑客帝国》而享誉国际影视界的武术指导袁和平碰上了言辞温和但生性执拗的李安,两人注定要打得不可开交。一流的泛亚明星阵容由来自不同国家和地区的演员组成:香港的周润发、马来西亚的杨紫琼、北京的章子怡、台湾的张震。其中年轻的章子怡年仅19岁,只有她一个人能说一口标准的大陆普通话,而这正是李安需要的。
例6:Discipline means choices. Every time you say yes to a goal or objective, you say no to many more. Every prize has its price. The prize is the yes; the price is the no. [原译] 纪律就是说它有选择性,每当你肯定一个目标或对象的时候,你同时也否定了更多的目标。每种奖励都有它的代价,肯定的是奖励,否定的是代价。 [分析] 原文的逻辑是按照choice-yes-no的主线展开的。而译文由于选词欠斟酌,炼句工夫下得不够深,缺乏清楚的逻辑推进层次,造成意义上的模糊。 [改译] 自律意味着有取有舍。每当你选取了一个目标,也就同时舍弃了其他许多目标。每项收获都要付出代价,所选取的就是收获,所舍弃的就是代价。
例7:Where there is willingness and intelligence, there is a place within the company to try and to succeed. In Japan, a person’s capabilities are not forced into an inflexible specialty. And we feel the company owes a worker something for loyalty and commitment. Japanese Style in Decision-Making Yoshio Terasawa [原译] 只要有抱负和才智,在公司内部就有施展抱负和取得成功的地方。在日本,并不应把一个人的能力限制在一个固定的专业上。我们只感到公司对他的忠诚和献身欠了恩情。 [改译] 在日本,公司不会把一个人的能力限制在一个固定的专业上,只要有抱负和才智,就一定会在公司内部找到施展抱负和取得成功的地方。因为我们感到,公司应该对员工的忠诚和奉献做出回报。
例8:Human beings are capable of acting from purely unselfish motives: we can be genuinely sorry for others and try to share in their troubles in an effort to offer comfort. It is unlike that a chimpanzee acts from feelings quite like these; I doubt whether even members of one family, united as they are by strong mutual affection, are ever motivated by pure altruism in their dealing with one another. In the Shadow of Man Jane van Lawick-Goodall [原译] 人类的安抚行为可能毫无私心,我们可能真正为某人难过,而想努力给予安慰并与他分忧。而黑猩猩的安抚行为不可能处于这种感情。虽然他们有强烈的相互感情联系,但我怀疑,他们同一个家庭的成员们,在他们相处时,是否总是受到利他主义的激发。 [分析] 这里的逻辑是一种对比的关系:黑猩猩的行为不可能处于利他主义的动机,人类则可以,原译没有清楚地表现出这一对比关系。 [改译] 在发出安慰行为时,人类的动机可以是毫不利己的:我们努力地安慰别人,是因为我们真心地为他们感到难过,希望与他们分忧。而黑猩猩的安慰行为不可能处于这种感受。我认为,即使是在感情联系十分强烈的家庭成员之间,纯粹利他的行为动机也是不存在的。
例9:Many people in industry and the Services, who have practical experience of noise, regard any investigation of this question as a waste of time; they are not prepared even to admit the possibility that noise affects people. On the other hand, those who dislike noise will sometimes use most inadequate evidence to support their pleas for a quieter society. [原译] 在工业部门和部队服役的许多人对噪音都有实际的体会,他们认为对于噪音问题进行任何研究均是浪费时间,他们甚至不愿意承认噪音对人体有影响。另一方面,那些不喜欢噪音的人有时会用很不适当的证据来支持他们希望有一个较为安静的社会环境的要求。 [分析] 这个段落反映的是噪音研究中的尴尬:真正生活在噪音中的人已经对噪音习以为常,因而不支持噪音危害人体的说法;支持这一说法的人又无法提供合理的证据。总之,两种人都没有对噪音危害提供证据。从逻辑关系上看,这里讲的是同一个问题的两个方面,这一点在原译中没有得到清楚的体现。 [改译] 在工业部门和部队服役的许多人对噪音都有切身的体会,然而这些人认为对于噪音问题的研究纯属浪费时间,他们甚至不愿意承认噪音对人体有任何影响。另一方面,那些不喜欢噪音的人在要求安静的社会环境时,使用的证据却极不恰当。
课内练习段落翻译 1. Self-esteem is feeling worthy and able to meet life’s challenges. It is as essential as the air we breathe, and just as intangible. It comes from the depths of our core, yet it is reflected in every outward action we take, grand or small. It is the essence from which we measure our worth and the most important building block in the foundation of our intangible. [提示] meet life’s challenges可译为“接受人生/生活的挑战”;from the depths of our core可译为“来源于我们的心灵深处”;in every outward action we take, grand or small更需要意译,可考虑译为“一举一动”。
2. We do not seem to realize that very little excellence is achieved by living a well-balanced life. Edison, Ford, Einstein, Freud all had single-minded devotion to work whereby they sacrificed many things, including family and friendship. The accusation is made that workaholics bear guilt by not being good parents or spouses. But guilt can exist in balanced life also. Consider how many “normal” people find, at middle-age, that they have never done anything well – they are going to settle for less than what they could have become. [提示] very little excellence is achieved by living a well-balanced life可译为“取得卓越的成就很少是通过四平八稳的生活实现的”。settle for less than what they could have become必须加以引申进行意译,如译为“他们原本可以有所作为,但现在却只能就此罢休。”
3. One of the generalities most often noted about Americans is that we are a restless, a dissatisfied, a searching people. We bridle and buck under failure, and we go mad with dissatisfaction in the face of success. We spend our time searching for security, and hate it when we get it. For the most part we are an intemperate people: we eat too much when we can, drink too much, indulge our senses too much. Even in our so-called virtues we are intemperate: a teetotaler is not content not to drink – he must stop all the drinking in the world; a vegetarian among us would outlaw the eating of meat. We work too hard, and many die under the strain; and then to make up for that we play with a violence as suicidal. [提示] a restless, a dissatisfied, a searching people 可译为“生性好动、从不满足、乐于探索”; go mad with dissatisfaction in the face of success 可译为“面对成功,我们却不满足,表现出烦躁不安”; hate it when we get it 可译为“一旦获得却对此感到厌倦”; indulge our senses too much 可译为“纵情声色”。
4. A good companion is better than a fortune, for a fortune cannot purchase those elements of character which make companionship a blessing. The best companion is one who is wiser and better than ourselves, for we are inspired by his wisdom and virtue to nobler deeds. Greater wisdom and goodness than we possess lifts us higher mentally and morally. [提示] for a fortune cannot purchase those elements of character which make companionship a blessing 这句话应根据上下文变通翻译,不应受原文外形的限制,可译为“因为财富买不到交友中使你受益的那些宝贵的东西”。
5. We might marvel at the progress made in every field of study, but the methods of testing a person’s knowledge and ability remain as primitive as ever they were. It really is extraordinary that after all these years, educationists have still failed to devise anything more efficient and reliable than examination. For all the pious claim that examinations test what you know, it is common knowledge that they more often do the exact opposite. They may be a good means of testing memory, or the knack of working rapidly under extreme pressure, but they can tell you nothing about a person’s true ability and aptitude. [提示] 翻译第一句时应侧重于语篇考虑,基本意思是:别的学科都有惊人的进展,唯有考试方式没有什么改变。they more often do the exact opposite可译为“实际情况常常与之相反”。
5.3 顺序调整 • 在英汉互译中,由于相应语段的信息安排不完全一致,根据语篇的需要,译者有时需要进行语序的调整。汉译时,要以语段为结构单位,理顺语义关系,合理安排信息。具体地说,原文句子(或分句)有的可能要超前译出,有的可能要滞后表达,从而使逻辑的安排更为紧凑和连贯,上下文衔接更加自然,达到信息重心安置得当,语段文气贯通。 • 例1:In Dubai, it is unusual to find a family that keeps animals, whereas back home we never thought twice before adopting a cat or dog. It’s not just that laws are strict here, but people in general appear to have little time and inclination towards pets-keeping. I cannot imagine how a child can grow without knowing the joy of having a dog to cuddle.
[分析] 我们通过调整语序,将现象和引起这种现象的原因放在一起,从中文的角度来讲,这种语序安排使逻辑更加紧凑。 [译文] 我的国家,人们总是毫不犹豫地收养无家可归的猫狗们。可是在迪拜,你却很难发现养宠物的家庭。原因不仅仅是相关法律较为严格,更重要的是,这里的人对养宠物既没有时间也没有兴趣。我很难想象在孩子的成长过程中,怎么能缺少和小狗一起嬉戏的乐趣。
例2:Before long, plastic may transform its image from eco-villain to environment hero, thanks to “smart” plastics now in development. These could allow vehicles to eliminate ozone-depending emissions and help windows store and make use of the sun’s heat. Perhaps by then, the name itself will morph from a pejorative jab into a genuine complement. The Molding of the World Time [分析] 从语篇的角度来看,这个段落构成的逻辑是一种逻辑关系:因为“智能”塑料的开发,塑料的形象将从反面转向正面。按照汉语先因后果的思维习惯,在翻译时可以对语序进行适当的调整,使这种因果关系更加清晰。 [译文]目前,“智能”塑料正在开发之中,这种材料不仅能消除汽车排放的破坏臭氧的废气,还可以让窗户储存和利用太阳的热量。不久的将来,塑料的形象将从生态魔鬼摇身一变为环保英雄。也许到那时,塑料一词的含义将从恶意的挖苦转成真正的赞美。
例3:When Sharon Stone won the Golden Globe award for best actress for her role in Casino, she may have silenced the critics who derided her for her panty-less scene in Basic Instinct. The public validation that she’s received lately helps her get past shaky private moments, such as when she realized she was approaching 40 – a dangerous age for female Hollywood stars. Is she worried? “If I have to diet, I’ll diet,” Stone says, “If I have to work out, I’ll work out. If I have to sleep upside down like a bat so I don’t look like a basset hound, that’s what I’m going to do. Because I’m not leaving.” Reader’s Digest [译文] 由于在影片《赌场》中的出色表演,莎朗·斯通获得了金球奖最佳女演员的殊荣。过去几年以来,因为影片《本能》中一个没穿内裤的镜头,莎朗一直备受评论界的嘲笑。现在她终于可以让这些评论家无话可说了。最近她的表演也赢得了观众的认可,这些成绩无疑有助于她度过私底下一些忐忑不安的时刻。比如说,有时她会想到自己已年近40——对好莱坞的女演员来说,40岁显然是一个危险的年龄。她对此是否感到担心呢? “需要我节食我就节食,”斯通说,“需要我健身我就健身,如果我必须像蝙蝠一样倒挂着睡觉,才不至于变成皱巴巴的沙皮狗,我会毫不犹豫地这么去做,因为我不会离开影坛。”
例4:1911年,在一个小县城里边,我生在一个小地主的家里。那县城差不多就是中国的最东北部——黑龙江省——所以一年之中,倒有四个月飘着白雪。例4:1911年,在一个小县城里边,我生在一个小地主的家里。那县城差不多就是中国的最东北部——黑龙江省——所以一年之中,倒有四个月飘着白雪。 萧红 《永久的憧憬和追求》 [译文] In the year of 1911, I was born into a petty landlord family in a small county town in Heilongjiang – China’s northeast most province where there was snow for at least four months of the year. (刘士聪 译) [分析] 原文两句,译文并译为一句,段内和句内结构均有调整。并且通过从句的应用使全文一气呵成,增强了语段的粘着性。
例5:面对复杂多变的国际形势,突如其来的非典型肺炎疫情和频繁发生的自然灾害,在中国共产党领导下,各级政府和全国人民一道,以邓小平理论和“三个代表”重要思想为指导,贯彻落实党的十六大精神,迎难而上,顽强拼搏,奋力开拓创新,在全面建设小康社会的道路上迈出重要步伐。例5:面对复杂多变的国际形势,突如其来的非典型肺炎疫情和频繁发生的自然灾害,在中国共产党领导下,各级政府和全国人民一道,以邓小平理论和“三个代表”重要思想为指导,贯彻落实党的十六大精神,迎难而上,顽强拼搏,奋力开拓创新,在全面建设小康社会的道路上迈出重要步伐。 ——温家宝总理在第十届全国人民代表大会第二次会议上 的政府工作报告 [译文] In the face of a complex and volatile international situation, the unexpected outbreak of the severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) and frequent natural disasters, governments at all levels and the people of all our ethnic groups put into practice the guiding principles of the Sixteenth National Congress of the Communist Party of China (CPC) under the leadership of the CPC and the guidance of Deng Xiaoping Theory and the important thought of Three Represents. We braved difficulties and hardships in an indomitable and innovative spirit and made important advances in building a moderately prosperous society in all respects. (中央编译局英文处 译)
[分析]英语中句子成分或从句可以插前补后,只要逻辑上清楚就可以了。原文中“在中国共产党领导下,各级政府和全国人民一道...贯彻落实党的十六大精神”在译文中,译者将“在中国共产党领导下”和“以邓小平理论和‘三个代表’重要思想为指导”重新作了整合组合在一起,形成这一长句的两个状语,在内容上两句较为接近,在结构上也更为紧凑。
例6:在一个春节前一天的下午,到重庆郊外去看一位朋友。她住在那个乡村的乡公所楼上。走上一段阴暗的仄仄的楼梯,进到一间有一张方桌和几张竹凳、墙上装着一架电话的屋子,再进去就是我的朋友的房间,和外间只隔一幅布帘。她不在家,窗前桌上留着一张条子,说是她临时有事出去,叫我等着她。例6:在一个春节前一天的下午,到重庆郊外去看一位朋友。她住在那个乡村的乡公所楼上。走上一段阴暗的仄仄的楼梯,进到一间有一张方桌和几张竹凳、墙上装着一架电话的屋子,再进去就是我的朋友的房间,和外间只隔一幅布帘。她不在家,窗前桌上留着一张条子,说是她临时有事出去,叫我等着她。 (冰心: 《小桔灯》) [译文] On the afternoon before Chinese New Year’s Day I went to visit a friend in the suburbs of Chongqing. She lived on the top floor of the village building. A flight of dark, narrow stairs led to a room where a table and several bamboo stools stood and a telephone hung on the wall. Beyond this room, separated by a mere cloth curtain, was the room where my friend lived. She had gone out, leaving a note on the desk by the window saying that she had been called away unexpectedly and wanted me to wait for her to come back. (Translated by Gong Shifen ) [分析] 原文按动作先后顺序排列,译文亦然。译文中第四句用了倒装,使 where my friend lived与下句 She had gone out…相连,这样调整句子结构之后译文上下文更紧凑,衔接更加自然。
例7:在四川西部,有一美妙去处。它背依岷山主峰雪宝顶,树木苍翠,花香袭人,鸟声婉转,流水潺潺。它就是松潘县的黄龙。例7:在四川西部,有一美妙去处。它背依岷山主峰雪宝顶,树木苍翠,花香袭人,鸟声婉转,流水潺潺。它就是松潘县的黄龙。 [译文] One of Sichuan’s finest spots is Huanglong (Yellow Dragon), which lies in Songpan County just beneath Xuebao, the main peak of the Minshan Mountain. Its lush green forests, filled with fragrant flowers, bubbling streams and songbirds, are rich in historical interest as well as natural beauty. [分析] 原文为风景胜地黄龙简介的第一段,该段文字中国人典型的思维方式——归纳法,即先描述或先叙述理由,后做结论。英美人的思维方式正好相反,他们往往采用演绎法,即开门见山摆出结论,然后再推演,段落中的首位主题句便是这种思维方式的典型体现。原文系名胜简介,主要具备信息功能及祈使功能,为实现这一功能,译者打破了原文的束缚,将最重要的信息作为主题句置于句首——黄龙是什么地方,位于何处,以取得先声夺人、吸引读者的效果。 上述例子说明,在双语转换的过程中,语序的调整不是主观随意的,而是为了服从语段的需要,这样段落才能得体。
句子在集结成群的过程中,往往是某些关系密切的句子朝着一个方向先集结在一起,而和另一些关系疏远的句子分开。在语段中,句与句的集结包含着不同的逻辑关系。表达时,只有有条不紊的显现这种关系,才能清晰的传达原文的思想。优秀的译文必须经得起推敲,真正负责的译者不会随便放过任何一个细微的疏漏。翻译中,我们不妨多一点“为人性僻耽佳句,语不惊人死不休”的精神,而不要做胡适先生笔下的“差不多”先生,对待译文切不可马马虎虎。句子在集结成群的过程中,往往是某些关系密切的句子朝着一个方向先集结在一起,而和另一些关系疏远的句子分开。在语段中,句与句的集结包含着不同的逻辑关系。表达时,只有有条不紊的显现这种关系,才能清晰的传达原文的思想。优秀的译文必须经得起推敲,真正负责的译者不会随便放过任何一个细微的疏漏。翻译中,我们不妨多一点“为人性僻耽佳句,语不惊人死不休”的精神,而不要做胡适先生笔下的“差不多”先生,对待译文切不可马马虎虎。
课内练习 段落翻译 1. Recently psychologists have found only about two percent of adults use their creativity, compared with ten percent of seven-year-old children. When five-year-olds were tested, the result soared to ninety percent! The findings set off many people thinking. Curiosity and originality are daily occurrences for the small child, but somehow most of us lose the freedom and flexibility of the child as we grow older. The need to follow “directions” and “do-it-right”, plus the many societal constraints we put on ourselves, prevent us from using our creative potential. [提示] set off…thinking可译为“引起……思考,发人深省”;daily occurrences宜译为动词词组;prevent us from using our creative potential需要引申翻译,如译为“使我们无法发挥自己的创造潜力。”
2. One of the basic questions facing our society today is: What promise or threat does new technology hold for our global future? Since the decisions our society makes about technological development will undoubtedly have tremendous consequences in the years to come, it is urgently necessary to explore this question, especially by examining science and technology in their relationship to development of humanity. [提示] “hold for…”在这里可译为“为……带来”;“have tremendous consequences”可译为“产生巨大的影响”。
3. Traditionally, young adults are preoccupied with business careers, financial success, the accumulation of possessions and comfortable living. But now the pendulum seems to be swinging the other way. According to the 1994 census, many counter-culture ideas have entered mainstream culture. More people are defining success in terms of intangibles – creativity, autonomy, pleasure, participation, adventure, stimulation, and love. Many are questioning the kinds of work society offers and the payoffs it provides. And many are dissatisfied with the traditional social identities of wife and husband. [提示] “are preoccupied with”译为“对……关心;关心的是……”;“the pendulum seems to be swinging the other way”可根据上下文直译或意译。
4. The proposition which I mean to maintain as the basis of the liberty of the press, and without which it is an empty sound, is this: that every man, not intending to mislead, but seeking to enlighten others with what his own reason and conscience, however erroneously, have dictated to him as truth, may address himself to the universal reason of a whole nation either upon the subject of government in general, or upon that of our own particular country: that he may analyze the principles of its constitution, point out its errors and defects, examine and publish its corruptions, warn his fellow-citizens against their ruinous consequences, and exert his whole faculties in pointing out the most advantageous changes in establishments which he considers to be radically defective, or sliding from their object by abuse. All this every subject of this country has right to do, if he contemplates only what he thinks would be for its advantage, but seeks to change the public mind by the conviction which flows from reasonings dictated by conscience. [提示] 这是一个长句,必须采用拆译法,以表意明晰为依归。如“is this”之前的主语部分可以译为:“我主张新闻出版自由必须具备以下的基础(如果失去了这个基础,新闻出版自由只能是一句空话),即……”;“all this every subject of this country has right to do”可译为“上述这一切,每一个公司都有权去做”。
5. It is simpler to say than to do, but there are ways. The most common is to ban all cigarette advertising on television and films. Another method is to raise cigarette prices with higher tobacco taxes – and use the money for anti-smoking campaigns. But the most important is to make the smoker increasingly self-conscious and uncomfortable about his habit by publicizing public awareness of the decline in social acceptability of smoking and its harmful effect. [提示] “It is simpler to say than to do”虽然简单,但并不好译。宜译得通俗一点,如“说起来容易,做起来难”、“说说容易,真要做起来就不那么简单了。”“with higher tobacco taxes”宜发挥汉语的动态优势来翻译,如“对烟草课以重税”,“增加对烟草的税收”。
下面的原文是《飘》中的一段。请仅对划线的部分进行改进,并说出理由,也可以对该篇译文作一个较为详细的分析。下面的原文是《飘》中的一段。请仅对划线的部分进行改进,并说出理由,也可以对该篇译文作一个较为详细的分析。 Gone With the Wind By Margaret Mitchell (An excerpt from Chapter 15) The army, driven back in Virginia, went into winter quarters on the Rapidan – a tired, depleted army since the defeat at Gattysburg – and as the Christmas season approached, Ashley came home on furlough. Scarlett, seeing him for the first time in more than two years, was frightened by the violence of her feelings. When she had stood in the parlour at Twelve Oaks and seen him married to Melanie, she had thought she could never love him with a more heartbreaking intensity than she did at that moment. But now she knew her feelings of that long-past night were those of a spoiled child thwarted of a toy. Now, her emotions were sharpened by her long (1) dreams of him, (2) heightened by the repression she had been forced to put on her (3) tongue .
This Ashley Wilkes in his faded, patched uniform, his blond hair bleached tow by summer suns, was a different man from the (4) easy-going, drowsy-eyed boy she had loved to desperation before the war. (5) And he was a thousand times more thrilling. He was bronzed and lean now, where he had once fair and slender, and the long golden moustache drooping about his mouth, cavalry style, was the last touch needed to make him the perfect picture of a (6) soldier.
He stood with military straightness in his old uniform, his pistol in its worn holster, his battered scabbard smartly slapping his high boots, his tarnished spurs dully gleaming – Major Ashley Wilkes, U.S.A. The habit of command sat upon him now, a quiet air of self-reliance and authority, and (7) grim lines were beginning to emerge about his mouth. There was something new and strange about the (8) square set of his shoulders and the cool bright gleam of his eyes. Where he had once been lounging and indolent, he was now as alert as a prowling (9) cat, with the tense alertness of one whose nerves are perpetually drawn as tight as the strings of a violin. In his eyes, there was a fagged, haunted look, and the sunburned skin was tight across the (10) fine bones of his face –- her same handsome Ashley, yet so very different.
[译文] 联盟军既被打回维吉尼亚,便都归到刺匹丹河上的冬令营来了。他们自从葛的斯堡吃了那么一个打败仗,元气业已大亏,并且疲倦得不能不休息了。因此将近圣诞节的时候,希礼便也请假回来。思嘉跟他一别两年多,现在重新见面,感情激动得非常厉害,连她自己也觉得吃惊。当初她站在十二根橡树的客厅里,眼看着他跟媚兰结了婚,总以为自己以后即使还爱他,也绝不会跟那一刻的情感一样那么强烈。现在她方才明白,自己那天晚上所经验的情感,实在还不过是一个纵容惯了的孩子得不到玩具时的情感罢了。现在经过了这两年多的离别,她的情绪因对他的长久的(1)梦想而越发(2)尖锐化了,因一直闷在(3)肚里不能说出口而越发高涨了。
希礼回家时,身上穿着褪色补缀的军服,头发已被烈日灼晒成了漂过的麻屑一般,跟战前她所痴恋的那个(4)潇洒风流的男子完全不同了。(5)从前他是风度翩翩的,现在变成红铜色了,瘦了。两撇金黄的长髭须挂在口角,竟是一个道地的(6)兵大爷了。希礼回家时,身上穿着褪色补缀的军服,头发已被烈日灼晒成了漂过的麻屑一般,跟战前她所痴恋的那个(4)潇洒风流的男子完全不同了。(5)从前他是风度翩翩的,现在变成红铜色了,瘦了。两撇金黄的长髭须挂在口角,竟是一个道地的(6)兵大爷了。
他穿着那间破军服笔挺地站着,破枪袋里装着手枪,破指挥刀在长帮鞋边荡着,上锈的马刺早已失去了光芒——这就是现任联盟军陆军少校的卫希礼。他现在已经养成了命令人的习惯了,颇有一种自信自尊的威严气度,嘴角边上也渐渐长出(7)狰狞的纹路了。他的肩膀本来是(8)方的,他的眼光本来是清澈的,现在都觉有些异样了。从前他一直是那么懒洋洋,不振作,现在他机警得像一头(9)野猫,仿佛他的神经一直都像小提琴的弦线那么紧张着。他的眼睛里含着忧烦憔悴的神情,他的面皮紧紧绷在两个(10)配置均匀的颊骨上——她所朝思暮想的希礼而今依旧是个美男子,然而与前大不相同了。他穿着那间破军服笔挺地站着,破枪袋里装着手枪,破指挥刀在长帮鞋边荡着,上锈的马刺早已失去了光芒——这就是现任联盟军陆军少校的卫希礼。他现在已经养成了命令人的习惯了,颇有一种自信自尊的威严气度,嘴角边上也渐渐长出(7)狰狞的纹路了。他的肩膀本来是(8)方的,他的眼光本来是清澈的,现在都觉有些异样了。从前他一直是那么懒洋洋,不振作,现在他机警得像一头(9)野猫,仿佛他的神经一直都像小提琴的弦线那么紧张着。他的眼睛里含着忧烦憔悴的神情,他的面皮紧紧绷在两个(10)配置均匀的颊骨上——她所朝思暮想的希礼而今依旧是个美男子,然而与前大不相同了。