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Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression. Rowan Seymour. Suspensions by Gender . 80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict. directed profanity opposition to authority threats harassment assault.
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Sugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour
Suspensions by Gender • 80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict. • directed profanity • opposition to authority • threats • harassment • assault Rowan Seymour
Reported Incidents Rowan Seymour
What parents need to know about Relational Aggression in girls… • Current Thinking on Bullying • Boy Bullies & Girl Bullies • How Relational Aggression Works • How to Stop Relational Aggression • How to Prevent Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour
What is Bullying? Dr. Dan Olewus • Overt Aggression (physical, verbal, social) • Directed • Pattern of behaviour • Negative intent • Power imbalance Rowan Seymour
Name that Bully • Name your bully • Tell your story • Name your emotions Rowan Seymour
Relational Aggression peer group involvement indirect harassment emotional intimidation indirect confrontation no resolution protracted time lines social-emotional risk Boy Bullies Girl Bullies • Physical Aggression • 1 on 1 conflict • direct threat • physical intimidation • public confrontation • physical resolution • short time lines • physical risk Rowan Seymour
Dr. Nicki Crick, University of Minnesota Relational Aggression - harming others by damaging their peer relationships and feelings of social inclusion • Learned at an early age • Develops in complexity and risk • Reinforcement of social-behaviour patterns Rowan Seymour
Nicole Werner,University of Minnesota • Relational aggression is not linked with socio-economic status • Boys are also relationally aggressive • Relational aggressionis stable • Children who are the frequent victims of relational aggression feel rejected, depressed, and submissive • Children who are highly relationally aggressive feel lonely and depressed Rowan Seymour
Aggression Survey Results Rowan Seymour
How Relational Aggression Works • Labelling • body image, trust, sexuality, maturity • Separation • Misinformation • gossip, notes, texting, MSN • Intimidation • looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-leaders, bumping, threats, etc. • Isolation • Ostracism Rowan Seymour
The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour
The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour
NEW BRUNSWICK SNIPER INJURES 14YR. OLD IN ONTARIO • MSN chat text Oct. 22/04 “…who do you think you are talking about brenda when she isnt even your friend you bitch im just telling you what people are saying about you and they say your making up lies in your retarded head now every body hates you and you have no friends.” • from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has never met Amy. Rowan Seymour
Mean Girls “Last year I was the toughest girl in the school. What I really wanted was for people to like me but I was afraid. So I made them respect me or I’d turn their friends against them. People knew it was better to be my friend than my enemy.” – Brenda Rowan Seymour
How can you stop Relational Aggression? • One at a time • Empathic approach (focus on feelings) • Identify all the players and the pattern • Agree on universal values • We all deserve to feel safe and happy • We all deserve to have good friendships • This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now. • The Magic Words • Accountability Rowan Seymour
How can we prevent Relational Aggression? • Emotional Education • Building Better Friendships • Supportive Consequences • Support for Individuals • Support for Peer Group Rowan Seymour
Risk Factors & Protective Factors • History of aggressive behaviour • Trouble with the law • Prior victim of bullying • Personality and behaviour (conduct disorder) • Substance use / abuse • Academic history • Family support / supervision • Peer influence (+ / -) • Recreational involvement Rowan Seymour
What do adolescent girls need? • A ‘Girls Only’ Space • Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring Adults • Positive Role Models • To Belong • To Feel Competent and Worthy • Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe, comforting, nurturing, trusting, and accepting Rowan Seymour
Building a Safe & Caring Community Rowan Seymour
Suggested Resources Rowan Seymour
On Line Resources www.ocdsb.edu.on.ca Safe and Caring Schools Rowan Seymour
Sugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour