Region One ESC Darlene Villafranca

1. Region One ESC Darlene Villafranca

2. What is Bullying? Bullying is hurting, harming, or harassing others repeatedlyand over time.

3. WHERE DOES BULLYING OCCUR? (Facing the Schoolyard Bully: How to Raise an Assertive Child in an Aggressive World, Zarzour, 2000)

4. Why People Bully There are all kinds of reasons why young people bully others, either occasionally or often. Do any of these sound familiar to you? • Because I see others doing it; • Because it's what you do if you want to fit in; • Because it makes me feel, stronger, smarter, or better than the person I'm bullying; • Because it's one of the best ways to keep others from bullying me.

5. Factors in the Home Environment: • Family relationships of bullies tend to be troubled. • Parents of bullies are hostile, rejecting, & indifferent. • Parents frequently use punishment that is some • form of harsh power combined with violent • emotional outbursts (Olweus as cited by Curtner-Smith, 2000) • Most bullies have weak to nonexistent father figures (Berdondini & Smith as cited by Curtner-Smith)

6. A bully carries out negative actions on someone who has difficulty being able to defend himself/herself. The bully uses: • Physical Contact • Words • Indirect ways such as: • - Spreading rumors • - Excluding someone from a group

7. Group Bullying Bullying may also be a group phenomenon with particular characteristics. This means that there are a number of children and young people who may at times be involved in bullying, but who would NOT usually take the initiative themselves. These are called PASSIVE BULLIES, HENCHMEN OR BYSTANDERS. The group of passive bullies is quite mixed an may include uncertain or anxious students.

8. Violence Continuum • Shooting Someone with a Gun • Stabbing Someone • Flashing a Weapon • Hitting/Kicking • Shoving/Punching • Spitting/Pushing • Intimidation/Extortion • Stalking • Sexual Harassment • Damaging Property • Stealing • Taunting/Ridiculing • Name Calling • Threatening • Writing Graffiti • Staring/Leering • Gesturing • Starting Rumors/Gossiping • Eye Rolling What do you tolerate? Where do you draw the line? What do you see at your campus?

9. Suicide ViolenceContinuum Murder Rape Gangs Hate Crimes To Reduce & Prevent Violence Vandalism Weapons Drinking/Drugs Stealing Sexual harassment Fighting Begin Here Threats Trash Talk Bullying Put Downs Reprinted by permission from CARE (Courtesy and Respect Empower), Jim Bryngelson, 1144 Henry Rd., Billings, MT. 59102. Phone: (40) 252-2835 Website: www.wtp.net/care

10. Two Types of Violence Peer/Victim Conflict: • Disagreements, misunderstanding and conflicting desires • Two or more students who are fairly equally matched in strength & power • Lack of conflict-resolution skills • Lack of anger management skills What to Do: • Educative Response…Teach Skills, Remediate Skills, Assign Practice • Provide Mediation & Other Assistance Only If Needed Bully/Victim Conflict: • Series of negative actions (violence) repeated over time • Are unequally matched in physical and emotional strength and power • Bullies..lack of connectedness and sensitivity to others • Victims..lack of assertiveness skills What To Do: • Re-establish Norm…it is not okay to bully • Adult Sanctions • Consequence Plan

11. Spectrum of Violence

12. If it feels like it hurts then it is bullying!

13. Does it have to be a part of growing up? No Each and every person has the right to feel safe in his/her life and good about themselves.

14. The Effects of Bullying • Too often, people just don't take bullying seriously - until something serious happens. • It happens a lot more than some people think. Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency, while 15-20% report they bully others with some frequency • (Melton et al, 1988; Nansel et al, 2001).

15. Effects of Bully’s Behavior • Many students are frightened. • A climate of fear exists in the classroom. • Some students think it is funny when they see the immature behavior of a bully. • School time is wasted. • Students who are being bullied are threatened and become highly emotional and upset and afraid to come to school. • Physically weak students may follow the bully for protection. • The teacher may loose power in the classroom. • A negative atmosphere is created. • The teacher may become afraid of the bully.

16. Slightly bothered • More aware of a problem • Wishing the problem would stop • Thinking of ways to get out of the situation • Arousal and activity increases • Defensive/aggressive stance and voice • Taking steps to gain superiority • Believing a full commitment is necessary • Rage with both emotional and physical responses Stages of Anger Violence Rage Anger Conflict

17. The Effects of Bulling • The wish to die • (Suicide) Menniger Triad 3.They wish to be killed (Suicide-by-Cop) 2. They wish to kill (Homicide) Source: FBI Behavioral Science Unit & Dr. Menniger

18. Where are these Perpetrators/Victims? Kip Kinkel Springfield, OR T.J. Solomon Conyers, GA COLUMBINE H.S. Charles Williams Santee, CA Luke Woodham Pearl, MS

19. Ways to STOP bullying • Tell someone • Stick with friends • Ignore the bully/walk away • Act brave • Stand up for yourself

20. What NOT To Do If You Are Bullied • DON'T...Think it's your fault. Nobody deserves to be bullied! • Keep it to yourself and just hope the bullying will "go away." • Skip school or avoid clubs or sports because you're afraid of being bullied. • Think that you're a "tattle tale" if you tell an adult that you've been bullied. • Hurt yourself.

21. Support someone who is being bullied Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person who is being bullied is just to be there for him or her and be a friend.

22. Stand up to the person doing the bullying When kids who bully see that other kids don't think it's cool, they are more likely to stop.

23. The Law The law defines bullying as “written or verbal expression or conduct that the school board determines will have the effect of physically harming a student, damaging property or placing a student in fear of harm to him/herself or his/her property, or is severe enough to create an intimidating, threatening or abusive educational environment.”

24. Violation of this policy is a Class C misdemeanor!

25. Sent to Jail

26. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Rules– Parents and school personnel must demonstrate that they are in charge and won’t tolerate any student hurting another student (physically or psychologically) Rights– Every student has the right not to be hurt and the right to learn in a safe environment Responsibilities – Educators must be responsible for better supervisionand moreobservant monitoring. Students must be responsible for respecting the rights of their classmates and themselves

27. Card 3 examples of bullying 2 ways to STOP bullying 1 way you will help others

28. My Statement of Responsibility I have a responsibility to tell someone if I am being bullied. I have a responsibility to not remain silent when someone else is bullied. I have a responsibility to speak up on behalf of all students who need help. I will honor that responsibility. __________________Student’s name __________________Date