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Chapter 8. {. Managing Conflict in Relationships. Chapter Outcomes. Describe the factors that lead to productive conflict Identify conflict triggers in yourself and others Explain the forces that influence how people handle conflict
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Chapter 8 { Managing Conflict in Relationships
ChapterOutcomes • Describe the factors that lead to productive conflict • Identify conflict triggers in yourself and others • Explain the forces that influence how people handle conflict • Evaluate and employ strategies for managing conflict in different situations • Compare levels of resolution in conflict outcomes.
Conflict • A negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement
Conflict Management • The way we engage in conflict and address disagreements with our relational partners
Unproductive Conflict • Conflict that is managed poorly • Has a negative impact on the individuals and the relationship • Can lead to health problems • Leads to aggression in the relationship
Productive Conflict • Fosters healthy debate when people are actively engaged • Leads to better decision making • Spurs relationship growth
Conflict Triggers • Inaccurate perceptions • Incompatible goals • Unbalanced costs and rewards • Provocation, or the intentional instigation of conflict
Conflict Triggers (cont.) • Events that spark conflict: —Aggression —Identity management —Lack of fairness —Incompetence —Relationship threats
Factors Affecting Conflict • Power Dynamics —Differences in power related to: • Resources • Feelings • Anything the other values
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Attitudes toward conflict: —Affect how willing you are to discuss disagreements —Affect how productively you handle conflict —Affect willingness to discuss certain topics (communication boundary management)
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Communication Climate —Uncertain climates include at least one person unclear about expectations of the conflict situation —Defensive climates involve people who feel threatened —Supportive climates are ideal because they offer a chance for honest and considerate exploration of the conflict issues
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Culture and Conflict —Individualistic cultures: • Emphasize personal needs, rights, and identity • “I” attitude —Collectivistic cultures: • Emphasize group identity and needs • “We” attitude
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Culture and Conflict (cont.) —Gender differences: • Criticism and complaints • Contempt • Defensiveness • Stonewalling
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Communication Channel —Poor channel choices can lead to conflict. —Channel choice affects conflict management.
Factors Affecting Conflict (cont.) • Online Anonymity and Conflict —Electronic media has created new sources of unproductive conflict. • Flaming • Trolling • Cyberbullying
Strategies for Managing Conflict • Escapist strategies: —Try to prevent or avoid direct conflict —Used for various reasons, such as personal safety, practicality, strategy
Strategies for Managing Conflict (cont.) • Challenging strategies: —Promote the objectives of the individual who uses them (assertiveness) —Get what you want without letting anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way —Create a winner and a loser
Strategies for Managing Conflict (cont.) • Cooperative strategies: —Focus on issues instead of verbal aggressiveness —Debate and argue using probing questions or playing devil’s advocate —Consider options and alternatives —Consider the importance of the outcome —Reassure your partner
Conflict Outcomes • Compromise —Both sides give up a little to get a little —Can be arrived at through trading or random selection —Has disadvantages for long-term important relationships
Conflict Outcomes (cont.) • Win-Win —Both parties meet their own goals. —Each party helps the other party with his/her goals. —The relationship is improved.
Conflict Outcomes (cont.) • Lose-Lose —Neither party gets what he/she wants. • Separation —Remove yourself from the situation to end the conflict. • Allocation of Power —Take responsibility for some decisions.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STATEMENT? Anger isn’t a problem, but the way you express that anger can make it into a problem. —Think, Talk, or Write.—
WHAT ARE THE FORMS THAT YOUR ANGER TAKES? — Think, Talk, or Write.—