A Youth Ministry Conversation

1. A Youth Ministry Conversation Sunday, December 4, 2011

2. Welcome and Why 1. We love you and your kids 2. We are moving into a new building and a new community and we need to be ready 3. We are facing some internal challenges - Ministry Participation from Kids - Ministry Resonance from Parents 4. If youth ministry fails, the church will fail 5. There is an ever-increasing crisis of generational integrity in the evangelical church

3. What’s Going On? According to recent research somewhere between 70 and 88 percent of Christian teenagers are leaving the church by their second year in college (VoddieBaucham, Family Driven Faith, 10). Over 80% of teens who claim to be “born-again” do not believe in the existence of absolute truth (Baucham, 11). A recent Barna survey focused on finding out how teens beliefs differ from their parents. It found that: • 63% don’t believe Jesus is the Son of the one true God • 58% believe all faiths teach equally valid truths. • 51% don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. • 65% don’t believe Satan is a real entity. • 68% don’t believe the Holy Spirit is a real entity • In a recent survey of parents by the Barna Group, it was found that the number one goal parents have for their children is that their children would get a good education (Baucham, 19). Only half as many parents considered their children’s having a relationship with Jesus Christ as important as their child’s education.

4. Another recent study focused on college freshman found that: * Parents play an extremely important role in developing the religious attitudes and practices of their offspring. In other words, their involvement in the local church will, more often than not,resemble the involvement of their parents. * Parents of students who did not leave the church emphasized spiritualitytwice as much as those who students who left the church. In other words, the more serious we are about our faith at home, the better the chance our children will have a vibrant faith as they grow older and remain active in the church. * Students who stayed in church through college said that the first thing they do when they have doubts or questions was to talk to their parents and then read their Bibles. In other words, our kids want and need our strong guidance even if they don’t always show it, especially during their teen years.

5. Survey Results and Discussion

6. Question #10 • 10. Overall, how have you felt that our church has performed in meeting the needs of its youth and families? • How are parents feeling about our youth ministry? • Overall Ratings • 16% Very Well • 47% Somewhat Well • 21% Not So Well • 16% Not Well at All Phil Douglass Interpretation Ministry ratings of 80%-95% approval are very good and a sign that things are going well. Ministry ratings in the 70-79% area are ok but vigilance is needed. Ministry ratings of 60-69% indicate that there is trouble brewing and change is needed Ministry ratings of 59% or below call for a change in direction, philosophy or leadership.

7. Observations and Interpretation • 63% of our parents are generally satisfied • 37% of our parents have a significant degree of disappointment with this ministry. • 84% think that there is room for significant improvement. • We are only slightly above average overall. This is disappointing to me and our leaders. We want to do a better. • What are some of the biggest positives you’ve experienced and what are some of the biggest struggles? • How has the loss of a feeder environment (i.e. TOCS) tied to our church impacted our children and youth ministries? • How are you as parents performing in assisting the church in meeting the needs of our youth and families?

8. Question #1 • 1. In your view, what level of responsibility do the following bear for the spiritual nurture of your child? (Rate according to the level of responsibility) • How important is the local church in the spiritual nurture of a child? From Highest to Lowest • Parents • Home Church • Christian School • Para/Church Other Church • Coaches/Mentors • Extended Family • Public School

9. Observations and Interaction • 100% agree that parents are most responsible for the spiritual nurture of their children. • 100% think ones home church has a high or an equally high responsibility to that of the parents. • How did you understand the question regarding spiritual nurture? In other words, what does spiritual nurture involve?

10. Question #2 • 2. When you were in Junior High and High School, what was your involvement in your church's youth group? • What background and experiences do our parents bring to their understanding of what youth ministry is and does? Percent Breakdown 35% Weren’t Involved 30% Very Involved 17% Moderately Involved 13% Unbelievers 5% Para-Church/Other Church

11. Observations and Interaction • 53%, a slight majority of our parents, were not involved at all in their home church’s youth ministry. • Does this have any bearing on how you view youth ministry in the local church today? If so, what? • If you were a Christian, what hindered your full or at least moderate involvement? • For those who were involved, what kept you involved? What made it valuable?

12. Question #3 • 3. What do you as parents view as the most important markers of a successful youth ministry? Select only two. • Discerning the highest priorities for the work of youth ministry. Highest to Lowest Rated Spiritual Growth in my child Confidence in their own faith Learning about the Bible Challenged to engage issues Developing Critical Mass Press kids out of comfort zones Safety and Fun Reinforcement of parent views

13. Observations and Interaction • The answers given to this question match well with what our youth and church leadership believe. • What does spiritual growth look like? In other words, how do you measure it for your children?

14. Question #4 • 4. In terms of youth group attendance, how do you view it for your child? • What level of support from parents does our youth ministry in general have from our parents? Percentage Agreeing 68% Extremely Important that they are involved in our church’s ministry 18% They need to be involved in some X’ngroup but not necessarily ours 14% I’d like involvement but won’t force it 0% Not important to me

15. Observations and Interaction • The 70%-30% split probably isn’t unusual. • What makes a youth group a safe/caring environment? • What are the pro’s and con’s of letting our kids pick and choose which youth groups to be involved with? Implications? • Is it fair to compare allowing our children to select a youth group with allowing our children to choose to go to school or work, etc.? Why or why not?

16. Question #5 • 5. How important is it to you personally for your children to attend the following youth events at Trinity: (check boxes that apply) • What degree of backing will our parents bring to the function of our current ministry platforms? Highest Rated Support Morning Worship (100%) (0%) Sunday School (91%) (9%) 1 on 1 Discipleship (90%) (10%) Missions Trips (84%) (16%) Sunday PM (73%) (27%) Social Events (69%) (31%) Retreats (67%) (33%) Mid Week- (56%)(44%)

17. Observations and Interaction • 60% SS is consistent with overall adult attendance • Support is flagging for BOTH a Sunday PM and Midweek gathering of youth. • Implications? What do you think about consolidating Sunday PM and Midweek meetings? Would support actually go up?

18. Question #6 • 6. In what areas do you believe the Trinity Youth Ministry should focus most of its efforts? Rate in terms of relative importance. • Where should we be able to count on the highest level of parental support? • Highest to Lowest Rated • Bible Study (100%) • Discipleship (95% • Fellowship (95%) • Outreach/Service (83%) • Social (74%) • Cultural Engagement (57%)

19. Observations and Interaction • Our focus is Bible study on Wednesday Night and SS is topical but very rooted in the Bible. Sunday Night is focused on devotional time, worship and fellowship. • Do you think this is a good model? What would you change if you were in charge?

20. Observations and Interaction • 7. To what extent do you think that the following quote is an accurate description of the culture of today's suburban youth: "GenY (1984 to present)...are pampered, busy, wealthy, and electronically connected. They have little self-control, poor moral values, and accept dysfunctional lifestyles as an inescapable fact of life. Lacking their own value system, they have developed a matrix of often contradictory elements to create their own worldview. Their tribe of friends has, for the most part, replaced the role of parents. Their actions are based on 'what works,' often rejecting the norms established by previous generations." (Robert H. Welch, Dean of Educational Ministries, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. • Percent Agreeing • 20% saw the quote as VERY accurate • 80% saw the quote as only partially accurate • 0% saw the quote as inaccurate • 0% perceived the quote to be a close description of their child.

21. Observations and Interaction 7. To what extent do you think that the following quote is an accurate description of the culture of today's suburban youth: "GenY (1984 to present)...are pampered, busy, wealthy, and electronically connected. They have little self-control, poor moral values, and accept dysfunctional lifestyles as an inescapable fact of life. Lacking their own value system, they have developed a matrix of often contradictory elements to create their own worldview. Their tribe of friends has, for the most part, replaced the role of parents. Their actions are based on 'what works,' often rejecting the norms established by previous generations." • Wereyou answering in relation to your child or what you are perceiving in the culture in general? • What is most true about this quote in relation to your child and what is least true? • What should the church be doing to combat the struggles that this quote is pointing out and what should parents be doing?

22. Question #8 • 8. As we move into Kirkwood is it your view that our church should: • What do our parents really want us to do in response to the current challenges we are dealing with? • Percent Responding • 95% want us to invest MORE time and energy in developing the ministry. • 5% want us to moderate the intensity of the ministry. • 0% want us to decrease ministry in lieu of other opportunities

23. Observations and Interaction • This is a gratifying statistic. It means that nobody is ready to throw in the towel! • This is a challenging statistic because it means that both the youth staff, parents and youth have to ratchet up the focus in order to push ahead. • How does this desire to do more square with the involvement of kids on multiple nights, etc.? • How can we increase commitment in light of the in-availability of many youth to participate? • What are some practically ways that Parents, youth, staff, church leadership can refocus on this ministry?

24. Question #9 • 9. If you believe that we need to be doing at least as much as we are now and maybe more, what initiatives in the list below would you like to see Trinity (Church and Youth Ministry) doing? • Where do we start? • Highest Rated Responses • 65% want us to work with other churches in some areas. • 55% want more outreach and service • 45% want youth more involved in worship • 35% want teaching on youth and youth culture for parents • 30% want parents to connect together and for us to build multi-generational ministry platforms.

25. Observations and Interaction • Perhaps the three things that were lowest rated might be the most strategically important. Why are these rated lower? • Why is critical mass so important? What # is adequate to have achieved critical mass? What does critical massdo? • Does Bible study make a youth group grow? How does this jive with wanting critical mass to be the highest focus? • What are some ways to change the environment and culture of the ministry? Aren’t some programs/initiatives needed to address this?

26. Where Now? 1. The Youth Staff and I will be meeting with a number of other local church youth leaders and pastors in the coming weeks to see what is happening in their ministries and what we can learn from them. 2. We’d like to propose a SS class during the January-March time frame to interact more deeply on these issues. 3. We are preparing a survey for our youth to get a sense of their feelings about youth ministry going forward. 4. We are going to take a good hard look at our children’s ministries to see if there is something we can do to better prepare our kids for the transition to the youth group years. 5. We want to urge a higher level of parental participation in the direction of the ministry, especially in regards to the critical component of prayer.