RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

1. RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT KM, 2016, IIMIDR

2. Symptoms of poor interpersonal relationships • Communication problems • Loss of motivation: • Tiredness • Preoccupation with other work • Indiscriminate opposition • Operational problems in teams • Difficulty in reaching decisions • Inefficient division of labour • Task distortions: • Defining tasks from narrow lens KM, 2016, IIMIDR

3. FIRO B(A framework for Behavior) KM, 2016, IIMIDR

4. Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation Behavior FIRO-B • People need people • We express our needs, at least in part, through our behaviors with other people. • These needs influence group behavior at two levels: • They determine how we treat other people, and • How we want others to treat us • FIRO-B is a psychological instrument developed to explain: • how interpersonal needs affect behaviour and relationships. • how your behaviors might be interpreted in organizational settings. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

5. Three aspects of interaction between you & others • Inclusion: Need to establish and maintain satisfactory interactions and associations with other people. Belongingness • In or Out • Who will you select to interact with? • Primarily in the realm of group behavior • Control: person’s behavior with respect to responsibility, power, influence and decision making – how much he desires to influence or direct the power of others. Power and influence • Top or Bottom • Who directs the flow of interaction? KM, 2016, IIMIDR

6. Three aspects of interaction between you & others • Affection: a person’s behavior in forming close, personal relationships with others. Love and affection, friendship • Close or Far • How open is the interaction with another? • Primarily in the realm of one to one interactions KM, 2016, IIMIDR

7. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

8. What do the scores mean? You are pretty selective and display these behaviors on rare occasions to a few people 0-2 You are pretty situational in these behaviors, displaying them with some people 3-6 You express these behaviors with with many people, much of the time 7-9 KM, 2016, IIMIDR

9. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

10. LOW Expressed Then: HIGH Expressed Then: Get stuck, don’t progress, lose credibility Inclusion People might perceive you as a cold fish, “prickly” or abrupt Others feel left out, lectured to, their ideas aren’t invited Chaos reigns or your agenda goes by the wayside Control People feel their work or contribution is unappreciated, they are a cog in the wheel People are uncomfortable, at the extreme Affection KM, 2016, IIMIDR

11. Insights from the FIRO-B: If you have… HIGH Wanted Then you may perceive LOW Wanted Then you may perceive Most invitations as obligatory, group time as wasteful Lack of acknowledgement as negative, rejections as devastating, being away as “missing the action” Inclusion Any control as too much; plans and structures as pressure, competitive behavior as annoying Any structuring as inadequate, standard procedures as comforting Control Reassurances as superficial, personal questions as intrusive, emotions as distracting/trying Lack of expressed concern as insensitive, infrequent feedback frustrating Affection KM, 2016, IIMIDR

12. Effectiveness through Matching Needs: Interpersonal Compatibility • Originator incompatibility: • both want to control or both don’t want to control….. both want to originate behavior associated with Control needs ……..leading to conflict or abdication…… • Reciprocal compatibility: When A’s expressed behavior matches what B wants, and B’s expressed behavior matches what A wants. Opposite attracts! • Interchange compatibility: When group members share similar need strengths around ICA. Typically for I and A KM, 2016, IIMIDR

13. How it will help you • Knowing your scores of interpersonal orientation: • Helps you to diagnose potential areas of incompatibility • Helps you to generate alternative for behavior when you attempt to solve interpersonal difficulties • Eg, increase inclusion activities • Allow someone else to express a little more control • Redefine an issue as an affection problem rather than that of a control problem KM, 2016, IIMIDR

14. How it helps in organisation setting • Team building – around compatibility, dynamics, development, effectiveness • Coaching – communication style, leadership style, interaction style • Leadership development – leadership style, control needs, communication style • Personal development – communication style, personal development challenges/strength, communication styles KM, 2016, IIMIDR

15. Conflict management KM, 2016, IIMIDR

16. Conflict Defined • A process that begins when one party perceives that another party has taken, or will take action about something that the first party cares about (incompatible to one’s own interests) • That point in an ongoing activity when an interaction “crosses over” to become an interparty conflict • Encompasses a wide range of conflicts that people experience in organizations: KM, 2016, IIMIDR

17. Causes of conflict • Competition over scarce resources (space, money, people, raw material, incentive, equipment, clients): • Access to information / Perception about information • Communication • Role related conflict (about content or goal related to task) • Process related conflict • Conflict related to personal variables: • Grudges • Malevolent intentions • Distrust KM, 2016, IIMIDR

18. Situation 1: You are the Head-Manufacturing • An Asst. Manager (Production) wants to do MBA (HR) from BITS-Pilani. You company sponsors MBA education. But this person’s request has been refused by the HR department stating that the MBA needs to be linked to area of work. What will you do? • Take it up with the CEO • Talk to Head-HR and see if the policy can be changed • Ask the manager if he can do MBA with minor in HR and major in Operations • Tell the manager that the company’s HR policy is astounding! • Talk to manager and suggest that his name will be recommended for technical training at Singapore KM, 2016, IIMIDR

19. Intentions • Intentions • Decisions to act in a given way • Dimensions of conflict-handling intentions: • Cooperativeness • Attempting to satisfy the other party’s concerns • Assertiveness • Attempting to satisfy one’s own concerns KM, 2016, IIMIDR

20. Conflict Management Techniques • Conflict Resolution Techniques • Problem solving • Superordinate goals • Expansion of resources • Avoidance • Smoothing • Compromise • Authoritative command • Altering the human variable • Altering the structural variables (eg, restructuring) • Conflict Stimulation Techniques • Bringing in outsiders • Communication • Restructuring the organization • Appointing a devil’s advocate KM, 2016, IIMIDR

21. Situation II: You are the SBU Head - Fans You have just taken charge. Your Manager – Production and Manager – Marketing is always at logger heads. They seem to be super competitive and each wants to show how important his role is. No meeting is over without curse words flying all over. What could be the reason? What will you do? • Winners take all • Find out if their incentive is linked to purely to production/sales • You are new, you should observe for sometime. • Use your authority to make them stop this nonsense. • Take each aside and explain that as a senior he needs to be a bit more polite and make him feel important. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

22. Situation III A new machine is being installed in the factory. It automatically glues cardboard cartons in which soap bars are packed. The unskilled labour engaged in the work is getting agitated as they feel they will lose job. As factory manager, what will you do? • Labours come and go – they are in any case through a labour contractor • Inform the workers that the factory is also adding to its capacity and they will be shifted to loading/unloading dock • Instruct the IR manager to stop this nonsense • Call the union leader and ask him to stop this nonsense • Agree that workers wont be reduced – they will work on gluing machine KM, 2016, IIMIDR

23. How management teams can have a good fight! Best teams use these tactics to separate substantive issues from personalities: • Focus on the facts • Consider many alternatives • Create common goals to rally everyone to work on decisions as collaborators, making it in everyone’s interest to achieve the best solution • Use humour • Balance the power structure – to balance whole team participation in decision making, establishing fairness and equity • Seek consensus with qualification KM, 2016, IIMIDR Source: HBR, July August 1997

24. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE KM, 2016, IIMIDR

25. Manager – IQ 145  The meeting was dragging on. Everyone kept sneaking looks at their watches. The manager was ranting as usual and they’d stopped listening. As usual, he hadn’t bothered to get his facts together before the meeting; now it was going on twice as long as it should. He went on at them as though it was their fault the information wasn’t there. ‘You just haven’t done your homework, have you?’ he snarled. Nobody answered back, but there were lots of clenched fists under the table. They were sick of this manager, and the way he bullied one and all. He did the lot – subtle put-downs, sarcasm, ignoring suggestions, looking daggers, and sometimes yelling. He’d murdered morale. There’d been a lot of redundancies, and people were going all out, but lived under the shadow of losing their jobs. Profits were unremarkable. This manager thought he could stir people into action by threatening them. ‘I don’t care how you do it!’ he said loudly, giving a glare all round the table, ‘Just get those profits up, or some of you will be out of here.’ ‘I’m out of here anyway, just as soon as I find something,’ muttered Pooja to Punit, the moment they get out of the room. ‘We all are,’ agreed Punit vehemently. ‘Who the hell does he think he is? There’s not one person who wants to do anything for someone like that.’ KM, 2016, IIMIDR

26. Leader & his emotions! Harsh criticism Negative outbursts Feelings expressed Feelings suppressed Relationship breakdown Self Obsession Empathy missing Motivation amiss KM, 2016, IIMIDR Exercise I Neurological advances

27. Anger --------- hinders ------------performance! engulfs others! contagious! vicious spiral! Anxiety Fear Worry Sadness… KM, 2016, IIMIDR

28. Emotions? KM, 2016, IIMIDR

29. Emotion • Emotion: Intense feeling that is directed at someone or something • Emotions are a natural part of a individual’s makeup. • Spread of emotions is contagious • Expression of emotions is universal • Culture determines how and when people express emotions Brains are hard-wired to give emotions the upper hand! First reaction is going to be emotional!!! KM, 2016, IIMIDR

30. Components of our emotional system • Emotional context or emotional make-up – encompasses how one is brought up, beliefs, experiences one has had….. Everything that makes up who one is today! • Emotions • Physiological changes or arousal actions • Behavior or action tendencies What are you feeling, why are you feeling and then acting! P (perceiving), A (appraising) and R (regulating) emotions! KM, 2016, IIMIDR

31. Rational emotive behaviour theory KM, 2016, IIMIDR

32. ABCDE • Modify and change your feelings by means of logical and deductive reasoning, instead of allowing your feelings to get better of you! A: Activating Event that trigger upsetting situation, upsetting thoughts B: Beliefs, discovered through Self-talk (how we talk to ourselves – either literally or in our thoughts) creates our feelings - triggered by the activating event. “Dated Tapes”? The automatic replay of frequent & harsh statements made to us during the childhood C: Consequences. The unpleasant feelings, the behaviour that accompanied them KM, 2016, IIMIDR

33. D: Explore and test the validity of your belief, Influence C by gaining perspective and talking ourselves out of automatic responses. ABCDE D: Actively debate, dispute and discard the maladaptive, self-defeating beliefs that give rise to the Cs. Where is the proof? Are there alternative, more logical explanations to explain the activating event A? If someone ask me for advise in similar situation, what might can I say to alter his/her perspective? How would someone whose opinion I respect respond if I told him/her I had this belief (B)? Have I ever been in similar situation before, held similar belief only to be proven wrong? E: Effects of filling column D – how the exercise shifted your understanding and beliefs about A, and consequently your feelings and behaviors. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

34. ABCDE • Defusing illogical, maladaptive beliefs allows more rational and adaptive beliefs to emerge. • Identify and move away from “hot” feelings to “cool” feelings! • “Hot” feelings have a spiralling effect on moods and thoughts, while “cool” ones have less intense effect. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

35. Seductive appeal of ei! KM, 2016, IIMIDR

36. Emotional Intelligence • For star performers, two thirds of their abilities are based on EI, rest on technical expertise and raw intelligence. • People with high degree of EI outperform others, even if their IQ is less. • IQ can’t be changed much, but EI can be consciously developed. • Neuro-plasticity of brain allows the brain to shape itself according to repeated experiences - EI can be cultivated. Ability to get along, ability to motivate, effectiveness in leading change, self starter, Love work for its sake KM, 2016, IIMIDR

37. Emotional Competency Needs Substantial Development Needs Some Development Definite Strength Self Awareness 25 or below 26 – 30 31 or above Self Management 26 or below 27 – 31 32 or above Motivation 26 or below 27 – 30 31 or above Empathy 25 or below 26 – 30 31 or above Social Skills 24 or below 25 – 29 30 or above Total 126 or below 131 -154 155 EI Inventory: Typically, asks questions on the mental abilities involved in the processing of emotional information. KM, 2016, IIMIDR

38. The Five Dimensions • Empathy • Listener • Attuned to feelings • Coaching - Accurate Self Assessment - Self Confidence Empathy Self Awareness Feeling for others Introspection Hope, enthusiasm, optimism, composure, self assurance • Service • Orientation • Mood Maker • Inspirational • leadership • Influence • Change catalyst • Conflict Management EI • Self Control • Consciousness • Initiative • Achievement Orientation • Adaptability anger, anxiety, sadness, arrogance impulsiveness, abrasiveness Social Skills Self Management Ability to make friends • Optimism • Performance Orientation - Perseverance Delay of gratification Decisive life skill Motivation Persistence KM, 2016, IIMIDR

39. Decision making KM, 2016, IIMIDR

40. How we decide? • Rational decision making: a conscious strategy, which allows us to recall things previously learned and to puzzle out an answer through logic • Intuitive/Sixth Sense: Operates entirely below the surface of consciousness along indirect channels, uncanny ability to read into a situation using very narrow slivers of experience. Two Chair Exercise KM, 2016, IIMIDR

41. Cultivate EI • Brain creates reaction patterns that leads to automatic behavior – lack of initiative, loss of temper, arrogant behavior. • Consciously break the pattern • Continually reflect on one’s emotions and triggers • Recognizing and naming emotions • Understanding the causes of feelings • Differentiating between emotion and the need to take action • promoting action in response to sadness/depression • inhibiting action in response to anger/hostility KM, 2016, IIMIDR

42. Cultivate EI • Create a learning plan, and specific goals • Taking the time for mindfulness • Managing anger through learned behavior or distraction techniques • Learning to postpone an outburst • Learn to be optimistic • Developing listening skills KM, 2016, IIMIDR