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Gender Communication Differences:. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus, and I’m your interpreter. BOYS: group-oriented teamwork= strong group of friends. GIRLS: individual-oriented one-on-one talking= one or two best friends.
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Gender Communication Differences: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus, and I’m your interpreter.
BOYS: group-oriented teamwork= strong group of friends GIRLS: individual-oriented one-on-one talking= one or two best friends Childhood Study:Development of social skills begins at a very early age.
STATUS LENS: (males) looking for differences to achieve status young boys try to “one up” each other stronger personalities give orders= leader= HIGHER STATUS weaker personalities accept orders= subordinate= LOWER STATUS CONNECTION LENS: (females) look for similarities to achieve connection try to achieve equality Differing Perceptions:
MEN: avoid direct eye contact are still listening, although they may not look directly at you misinterpret direct eye contact as confrontational or flirtatious WOMEN: direct, face-to-face gaze used to focus on connection misinterpret no eye contact as a sign of not listening Non-verbal Communication:LISTENING RITUALS“Parallel Chairs” Study: when speaking, boys kept chairs side by side, but girls turned their chairs to face each other.
VERBAL COMMUNICATION:CONVERSATION RITUALS • not to be taken literally • tools used for establishing friendly connections to facilitate communication • example: “How are you?”... “Fine, thanks”
RITUAL OPPOSITION: (MEN) boys “play fight” playing Devil’s Advocate used NOT to challenge but rather to explore possibilities Women misinterpret oppostion as: indication of bad idea or mistake personal attack RITUAL APOLOGY: (WOMEN) “I’m not sorry I’m sorry” means I’m sorry that happened NOT a personal apology used as a transition in conversation Men misinterpret apology as: disorganization incompetence CONVERSATION RITUALS
MEN: use playful insults and teasing related to the status dimension WOMEN: use compliments related to the connection dimension CONVERSATION RITUALS
REPORT TALK: (men) focuses on information-- details, statistics sports and hobbies RAPPORT TALK: (women) talking about personal subjects in order to give sense of connection “How’s your family?” SMALL TALK: “Greasing the Wheels”
DIRECT: (men) dictate orders not bossy or offensive Women misinterpret direct orders as: impoliteness overbearing INDIRECT: (women) use strategies not to appear bossy “could we do this…” “do you think it’s possible…” “I would do it this way…” Men misinterpret indirect approach as: not being managerial easier to say “NO” GIVING ORDERS:
THE “DOUBLE BIND” FOR WOMEN: Expectations for how an authority figure should speak is based upon men in authority. • If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy. • If woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent.
FOR MEN: give compliments more freely use praise to temper criticism asks for another’s opinion to make them feel included FOR WOMEN: give ideas outright without disclaimer be more concrete when giving orders Quick Tips: