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Learn different ways to express "said" and discover alternative words for "went" in your writing to add variety and creativity to your storytelling.
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In pairs write as many different ways of saying ‘said’ as you can.
In pairs write as many different ways of saying ‘said’ as you can.
In pairs write as many different ways of saying ‘said’ as you can.
“Is there anybody there?” asked the old man. “Doesn’t the bride look stunning!” whispered the wedding guest. “Please stop that. You’re hurting me!” screamed the young woman. “Can you come here, please, quickly?” shouted the paramedic. “The next train to London is on platform 3a,” advised the station announcer.
Find alternative words for ‘went’. Be as imaginative as you like!
Find alternative words for ‘went’. Be as imaginative as you like!
The birdwatcher stalked through the wood very quietly. The lame man hobbled painfully down the hospital corridor. The weary walkers thankfully arrived to the pub. The burglar creepedround the house looking for an easy entry. John quickly picked up the ball and ran to his friend’s house. The old lady staggered slowly up the steep hill. The tired tourists traipsed through the museum with a guide.
Narrator/Voice • Who is telling the story? • Is it first person? Is someone in the story telling the reader directly? In these kinds of narratives the narrator might be the main character – or it might be someone who is very minor. Imagine the story of Cinderella told from the point of view of the mouse who gets turned into her footman. He’d have a very different view of the story – and what would life be like after he’s turned back into a mouse? • Use of I/ We/ Us throughout
If the narrator is a specific character, that character needs to be reflected in the way the story gets told – the comments or ‘asides’ which they make to the reader, might show who they really are.
Are you an all-knowing narrator? The story is told in the third person, but the narrator might need to tell the audience what the characters are thinking. Or perhaps there is a secret in the character’s past, which the reader needs to know to understand what’s going on. • Or, is the narration limited to what a single observer can see? This works well for stories which are shrouded in mystery, or follow a small event in detail. Twist in the tale stories need these kinds of limits.
The person who is supposed to be telling the story will determine the ‘voice’ you write in. If the narrator is someone serious, the tone will be serious. If the narrator is a bit of a joker, the tone will be more informal. Don’t tell the reader about the narrator directly – let the way you write do it for you. Exercise Look through your booklet at pages 50- 55. Identify what voice is used in each and what the effect is for the reader. Consider how they have created the character of their narrator.
Characters • In a short story you don’t have time to include a lot of characters– one or two main characters is enough. You can include some other minor characters if you need them to make the plot work, but not too many. Only give names to major characters – it will help the reader to work out who matters enough to remember. • When you check through your work make sure that each character talks in the way you’d expect them to. If you’ve got a member of the royal family in your story, they won’t talk like you and your friends. • Who’s talking?: • “Dunno, shurrup. Weren’t me.” • “I’m not entirely sure. Could you perhaps repeat yourself?”
Make each character distinctive. Think of one characteristic – physical or personal – which summarises them. In your planning, note down each character and their unique identifying point, with two or three different ways of referring to it. Referring to the same thing in different ways reinforces the character and it adds cohesion to the whole story. Look at these images and consider who they are and what their qualities/ attitudes might be. Write 3 lines from the character, introducing themselves.
Setting An unusual setting can be a way to make a narrative really interesting. Changing the setting can make a story out of something everyday. There are some events listed below. First think where they normally occur, and then choose somewhere completely different to produce an interesting story idea. You might have done writing to describe as part of your controlled assessment. The same techniques apply to writing narrative – make sure to use the five different senses to evoke the setting. What can your characters smell? It’s a good way to get the reader really imagining the setting of your story. Pick two or three key details to establish your setting, but don’t describe it all at once. Unless you’ve made a deliberate choice to start with the setting – perhaps the place is the main character in the story – don’t describe it in your first paragraph. Starting in the middle of the action is the best way to grab your reader. Then they need an idea of where the action is happening. But you don’t want to bring everything to a halt while you describe everything in depth. Sprinkle details about the setting throughout the story.
Plot Plot is what turns a list of events into a story. It’s the connection between different events that show cause and effect. Make sure that events in your story happen for a reason, and that they affect the characters. Exercise: pick a word at random. Give yourself two minutes to think of as many different possible stories related to that word as possible – the more creatively you use the word the better. ‘Lost’, for example, might be a story about getting lost in a wood, or losing a game, or a story set in a lost property office. Or maybe someone has lost something which is very important to them – but the reader doesn’t understand why it’s so important until the very end of the story.
The plot is why it’s important, how it got lost, and why it’s needed now. The order in which you tell the story is important. It might seem natural to tell a story from beginning to end but mixing up the chronology or timeline of a story is a good way to make it more interesting. It still needs to make sense, but it doesn’t have to be in order. Some different possibilities are telling the story in flashback, starting from the most dramatic point and then explaining how everyone got there. Or you might want to start at the end and work your way back to the beginning. Starting in the middle of the action is a good way to capture the interest of the reader.
Exposition (opening- it sets the scene and kick off the action) • Encounter – a meeting or key event involving two or more characters. • Complication or conflict- the difficulty. • Climax- the most intense moment of the story. • Resolution- the ending- sad, happy, mixed, open ending, • surprise ending or ‘twist in the tail of the tale.
Short brown hair 5 foot 7 inches Pale skin Hazel eyes Size 5 feet Likes: Art galleries Reading Crime dramas Walking Going for dinner Films Shopping Dislikes: The rain Marmite- YUK! Numbers- Aaah! Animals Clubbing/ drinking Being called quiet! Negative qualities Workaholic Anti-social (at times) Self-critical Positive qualities Resilient Conscientious Compassionate Large family 3 very close friends Lives in a flat with a cute yard and a very noisy neighbour
Decide on one main event that your character is involved in. This event could be a moment of conflict in the character’s life. Events Keep it simple!
By the end of the lesson: Success Criteria Openings Events Characters Language Settings Structure Endings
Openings There are 5 openings around the room. You must move around and comment on each one. You should state what you think is effective about it and how it engages you.
“Honestly, Mrs Hadley,” said Meggie McGregor, wiping her eyes. “That sense of humour of yours will be the death of me yet!” Jasmine Hadley allowed herself a rare giggle. “The things I tell you, Meggie. It’s lucky we’re such good friends!” Meggie’s smile wavered only slightly. She looked out across the vast lawn at Callum and Sephy. Her son and her employer’s daughter. They were good friends playing together. Real good friends. No barriers. No boundaries. Not yet anyway. It was a typical summer’s day, light and bright and, in the Hadley household anyway, not a cloud in their sky.
The primroses were over. Towards the edge of the wood, where the ground became open and sloped down to an old fence and a brambly ditch beyond, only a few fading patches of pale yellow still showed among the dogs’s mercury and oak-tree roots. On the other side of the fence, the upper part of the field was full of rabbit-holes. In places the grass was gone altogether and everywhere there were clusters of dry droppings, through which nothing but the ragwort would grow. A hundred yards away, at the bottom of the slope, ran the brook, no more than three feet wide, half-chocked with king-cups, water-cress and blue brook-lime. The cart-track crossed by a brick culvert and climbed the opposite slope to a five-barred gate in the thorn hedge. The gate led into the lane.
The sliding-door of the railway truck closed with a deafening clang. In Alice’s memory that sound was the start of the journey, although another half-hour passed before the train left. She felt Grandfather’s hand round her own – Grandfather’s familiar, big, dry hand. His hand was cold.
It should be made clear from the start that Blart never wanted to be a hero. He had not been brought up on tales of bravery and courage in the face of overwhelming odds; he had been brought up on a pig farm. He had not read the myths and legends of the dim distant past where noble men and women gloriously chanced all for others; he had read his grandfather’s books which were mainly about diseases that pigs got. He had not learnt to ride a horse or to sword fight or to risk his life for the honour of a beautiful woman. He had learnt that if you want to catch a pig you sneak up on it from behind and take it by surprise.
The smell and noise and confusion of a hallway full of schoolboys can be quite awful at twenty past seven in the morning. The smell was the worst part – from this great disorderly mass rose the scent of sweat and sour breath and unwashed bodies, mixing with the two-hundred-year-old school odour of carbolic and floor polish. Boys as a rule don’t notice bad smells, they’ve other things on their mind, but one boy did. He stood alone in the centre of all the chaos, while torrent of excited youth barged past him, and wished he were somewhere else. He wasn’t used to these crowds, these numbers, this noise, this smell.
Openings In your 5 groups- you should read all the comments on your opening and then tell the rest of the class why you think it is so effective.
Over to you With the character, setting and dilemma that you have. Write an effective opening. You have 10 minutes. Feel free to use your phones for thesaurus/ dictionary functions.
Feedback Pass the sheets around and provide feedback on the openings. Give something encouraging as well as a suggested improvement.
Structure You have been given a sample essay. Discuss the overall structure and annotate the essay with comments about structure. Use the structure prompts to help you.
Characters How have the characters been introduced? Have they been developed? Do you engage with the character?
Language What language devices have they used? Are they effective? Annotate your essay with notes about this.
SPG Use the punctuation mats to correct SPG throughout your essay.
Overall How interested/ engaged were you? What grade do you think it got and why?
Share Find another pair who looked at a different essay to you. Explain the main problems and strengths of your essay to that pair.
Success criteria How close are we?
‘I've just read a book when you never knew what happened next and the hero was about to die! It was brilliant!’
‘I think the best books are ones that make you put the book down in tears because it shows the author has really connected with you.’
‘I like books when you can see what is going to happen at the end but it still really surprises up when it does!’
Good ending top tips: Solve the problem, dilemma or conflict faced by the story's main character Once the problem is solved, the story should end. Adding anything else can weaken the ending Show that your main character has changed or grown in some way, but don't preach about it Be clear. Readers shouldn't have to choose between several hinted endings Tie up loose ends by answering questions You could a cliffhanger but don’t leave the reader with TOO MANY questions.
You now have 10 minutes to apply what you’ve learnt about an ending to the character/ setting/ event now in front of you. Share with a peer afterwards- they will give you a positive comment and a suggested improvement.
Now we’re at the end of the lesson. What is our success criteria? Openings Events Characters Language Settings Structure Endings