Scientific Writing, HRP 214

1. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce. B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

2. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce. B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce. * composer putting notes together to make music

3. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. The dessert was comprised of cream and chocolate. B. The dessert was composed of cream and chocolate.

4. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. The dessert was comprised of cream and chocolate. B. The dessert was composed of cream and chocolate.

5. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate. B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

6. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate. B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate. • think “includes” (but exhaustive list) • compare “composed of” (generally exhaustive)

7. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate sauce. B. Cream and chocolate are composed of chocolate sauce.

8. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate sauce. B. Cream and chocolate are composed of chocolate sauce.

9. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile. B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

10. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile. B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

11. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at noon. B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at noon.

12. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at noon. B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at noon.

13. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. I always thought it was further to the moon. B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

14. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. I always thought it was further to the moon. B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

15. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Between you and I, we should have it done in no time. B.Between you and me, we should have it done in no time.

16. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. Between you and I, we should have it done in no time. B. Between you and me, we should have it done in no time.

17. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. He died of unknown causes. B. He died from unknown causes.

18. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. He died of unknown causes. B. He died from unknown causes.

19. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. She could have made it further in life. B. She could have made it farther in life.

20. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. She could have made it further in life. B. She could have made it farther in life.

21. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. “Its the nuts, sir. They’re complimentary.” B. “Its the nuts, sir. They’re complementary.” C. “It’s the nuts, sir. They’re complimentary.” D. “It’s the nuts, sir. They’re complementary.”

22. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. “Its the nuts, sir. They’re complimentary.” B. “Its the nuts, sir. They’re complementary.” C. “It’s the nuts, sir. They’re complimentary.” D. “It’s the nuts, sir. They’re complementary.”

23. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the compliment cascade. B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the complement cascade.

24. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the compliment cascade. B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the complement cascade.

25. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • Lecture Four: Writing Basics II Paragraphs, logic, and organization

26. Scientific Writing, HRP 214paragraphs Although the methodological approaches are similar, the questions posed in classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are different. In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Causal associations are important to identify because, if the causal factor identified can be manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is possible. On the other hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes and their associated probabilities following the occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test result or disease.

27. I. Classic and clinical epidemiology differ Main idea of the paragraph A. Classic epidemiology is about disease etiology and preventing disease Supporting ideas specifics of how they differ i. Etiology is about this. B. Clinical epidemiology is about improving prognosis Sub-supporting ideas definitions i. Prognosis is about this. Scientific Writing, HRP 214What are you trying to say? Idea flow chart (outline)…

28. Passive voice: who posed the questions? Are different differ wordy Scientific Writing, HRP 214sentence-level editing Although the methodological approaches are similar, the questions posed in classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are different.

29. I. Classic and clinical epidemiology differ Main idea of the paragraph Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Despite methodologic similarities, classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in aim.

30. Scientific Writing, HRP 214paragraph parallelism In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Causal associations are important to identify because, if the causal factor identified can be manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is possible. On the other hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. What’s the structure of the comparison/contrast? Here: In discipline 1, group 1 poses a question about XX in a population of XX. In discipline 2, group 2 poses a question about YY in a population of YY.

31. A. Classic epidemiology is about disease etiology and preventing disease Supporting ideas specifics of how they differ B. Clinical epidemiology is about improving prognosis Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients.

32. Sub-supporting ideas definitions i. Prognosis is about this. Scientific Writing, HRP 214sentence-level editing Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes and their associated probabilities following the occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test result or disease.  Prognosis is the probability that an event or diagnosis will result in a particular outcome.

33. Scientific Writing, HRP 214Altogether… Despite methodologic similarities, classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in aim. Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of disease in a population of people; etiologic factors can be manipulated to prevent disease. Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients; prognosis is the probability that an event or diagnosis will result in a particular outcome.

34. I. Classic and clinical epidemiology differ Main idea of the paragraph A. Classic epidemiology is about disease etiology and preventing disease Supporting ideas specifics of how they differ i. Etiology is about this. B. Clinical epidemiology is about improving prognosis Sub-supporting ideas definitions i. Prognosis is about this. Scientific Writing, HRP 214compare to outline…

35. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Before you start writing, ask: “What am I trying to say?” When you finish writing, ask: “Have I said it?”

36. Scientific Writing, HRP 214, paragraph example 2 Most scents remain constant in their quality over orders of magnitude of concentration (12). Nevertheless, at high concentrations, quality tends to be negatively correlated with intensity, as was the case, for example, for the cinnamon oil used in this study. Hence, reliability of absolute scorings was achieved by calibrating the amount of perfume ingredients with initial ratings for intensity against a reference substance of known concentration. The final concentrations were in principal chosen in a way such that individual ratings showed variance among participants within the sliding scale between 0 and 10 (meaning that people could decide whether they liked a scent or not). This procedure seemed successful for most scents; however, the concentrations for bergamot (highest average ratings) and vetiver (lowest average rating) could probably been reduced even more, as both scents did not show any discriminating power at the level of common alleles (people agreed largely on the quality of these two scents) (see Table 2). Interestingly, the pooled rare alleles showed discriminating power for… Word count: 212

37. What’s the paragraph trying to convey? (outline)… I. Were the perfume concentrations in the experiment appropriate? Main idea of the paragraph A. If the concentration is too high, the smell may be too overpowering and this may affect quality ratings. i. This is not a problem here because we standardized intensity. B. The concentrations are appropriate if they produce sufficient variability in quality ratings. i. This appeared true for most scents, with two exceptions.

38. Scientific Writing, HRP 214, paragraph example 2 Perfume quality and intensity may be negatively correlated (if a scent is too strong, most people will reject it independent of their preference). Hence, we chose the final concentration of each perfume ingredient so that it had similar intensity to a reference scent (1-butanol). The resulting concentrations appeared appropriate for most scents, as participants’ preferences varied along the sliding scale between 0 and 10. However, people largely agreed on the quality of bergamot (highest average ratings) and vetiver (lowest average rating), so lower concentrations may have been needed for these scents. Word count: 91

39. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Paragraph organization tips: 1. Avoid a succession of loose sentences (monotonous). • 2. Paragraph flow is helped by: • parallel sentence structures • logical flow of ideas • if necessary, transition words • 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and the last sentence best. Make the last sentence memorable. Emphasis at the end!

40. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Paragraph organization tips: • Avoid a succession of loose sentences (monotonous). --Outlining and organizing can help arrange ideas. --But, when stringing together a series of ideas, don’t forget to vary sentence structure for readability.

41. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Example from Strunk and White: The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening, and a large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similar series annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive program will be presented.

42. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • 2. Paragraph flow is helped by: • parallel sentence structures • logical flow of ideas • if necessary, transition words

43. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • logical flow of ideas: • Sequential in time • General specific • Logical arguments (if a then b; a; therefore b)

44. Scientific Writing, HRP 214example Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him within the grace period (which, in California, is six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to seize any collateral that the defendant put down to secure the bond, or sues the defendant’s “indemnitors,” who signed the bail application as guarantors. But Zabala hadn’t put down any collateral, and so far Green—one of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty hunting—had found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars.

45. Scientific Writing, HRP 214organized by: time sequence and general specific 1. First, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest the defendant within the grace period. 2. Then, if that fails, the bondman seizes collateral or sues indemnitors. 3. Now, in this specific case, the defendant (Zabala) is AWOL and has no collateral or available indemnitors 4. Conclusion: the bondswoman (Green) is out of options. Notice how the author didn’t need to write “first,” “then,” “in this specific case,” or “conclusion” the organization of sentences and context gives readers these clues without spelling them out…

46. Scientific Writing, HRP 214examine the logical structure • A bondsman has these and only these options: • Hire a bounty hunter to find and arrest the guy within a grace period. • If (1) fails, seize collateral or sue indemnitor. • Pay the money herself. • In this case, • Grace period nearly done without arrest. • No collaterol, no indemnitors. •  Green (the bondswoman) will be responsible for the $31,000.

47. Scientific Writing, HRP 214transitions used Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him within the grace period (which, in California, is six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to seize any collateral that the defendant put down to secure the bond, or sues the defendant’s “indemnitors,” who signed the bail application as guarantors. But Zabala hadn’t put down any collateral, and so far Green—one of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty hunting—had found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up.Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars.

48. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and the last sentence best. Make the last sentence memorable.

49. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • But Zabala hadn’t put down any collateral, and so far Green—one of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty hunting—had found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars. • Long, short, long.

50. Scientific Writing, HRP 214 • But Zabala hadn’t put down any collateral, and so far Green—one of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty hunting—had found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars. • Long, short, long. • Nice sentence variety and build-up to the conclusion.