Understanding Emotional Development in Toddlers: Patterns and Strategies

1. Emotional Development from 1-3

2. Emotional Patterns • Toddlers go through periods of negativism and rebellion, and happiness, calmness, and stability • Negativism- doing the opposite of what others want

3. 18 Months • Primarily self-centered- they think about their own needs and wants • caregivers begin to teach the child that some desires will not be met immediately, and some never met • Spoken instructions are not always successful • favorite word is “No” • Negativism has a number of causes • the desire for independence • could say no for things they don’t or do want • frustration results from not being able to express body language • the child’s realization of being a separate person is exciting and frightening

4. 18 months continued • These negativisms can produce a battle between caregiver and child • Positive guidance can help caregivers handle a negative child: • give choices- give no more than two alternatives • ex: picking up toys can become a game • redirect the child- take the attention off the issue that is causing the negative response • encourage talking- help children learn to use words • Temper tantrums start to occur which can include screaming, crying, kicking, pounding, hold their breath, etc

5. 2 Years • Speech and motor skills have improved which helps relieve some frustration • Expresses love and affection freely, seeks approval and praise • Are more outgoing and friendly and less self-centered

6. 2 ½ Years • Not as easily distracted anymore • They know what they want to say but can’t always be understood • Have a strong drive for independence • often resist pressures to conform • independence and maturity clash • They can be stubborn, demanding, and domineering; moods change rapidly • Have a need for consistency

7. 3 Years • Generally cooperative and are learning to be considerate • More willing to take directions from others • will modify behavior to win praise and affection • Much better at talking and love to do it

8. 3 ½ Years • Become very insecure • some parents feel that the child is going backward rather than forward emotionally • Fears are common at this age • dark, loud noises, strangers • Emotional tension and insecurity show up in physical ways too • may start habits such as thumb sucking, nail biting, or nose picking to relieve tension • others may stumble or stutter when they talk • They try to ensure their own security by controlling their environment • can issue insistent demands

9. Practice Parenting • Identify how you as the child’s caregiver would react and offer each child a choice: • Jodie wants to wear a new shirt while working in the garden • Michael wants to eat candy for breakfast • Bobby wants the toy that John is using • Claire wants to take a plastic toy with her to bed.

10. Handling Temper Tantrums • Read page 382 in the book. • Answer questions 1 & 2.

11. Specific Emotions in 1-3 Years

12. Anger • Anger is usually the child’s way of reacting to frustration • Three year olds are less violent and explosive and less likely to use hitting or kicking • Use name-calling and pouting • Target of anger changes • 18 month old who has a tantrum does not direct the anger toward a particular person or thing • 2 and 3 year olds are more than likely to aim their anger at the object or person that is responsible for the frustration

13. Anger continued • Anger is more frequent in anxious and insecure children, as well as those who haven’t learned self control • Children whose parents are overly critical or inconsistent become frustrated easily and show anger • Caregivers must remember to respond to a child’s anger in a controlled way

14. Fear • One year olds may be frightened of high places, strangers, and loud noises • Three year olds may be frightened of the dark, animals, and storms • An adult’s fear may rub off on the children • Separation anxiety- a fear of being away from parents, caregivers, or their normal environment • Takes place between the 1st and 4th birthday • Children will grow out of it • Can cause trouble going to sleep at night, bedtime routine helps • Nightmares can occur • asking the child to describe the nightmare can help

15. Write about a fear you had as a child. • Explain how it came about and how you learned to overcome it. • What did your parents do to help you overcome it?

16. Suggestions to Help Deal with Fears of Toddlers • Offer support and understanding, avoid shaming • Encourage the child to talk about the fears, admitting to them can help them go away • Sometimes it is best to accept the fear and avoid forcing the child to confront it, sometimes it will go away on its own • Read books together about a child that experiences fear • Make unfamiliar situations more secure • Teach the child how to control frightening situations

17. Jealousy • Becomes more recognizable in the second year • Reaches peak at age 3 • May resent affection between parents • Sibling rivalry- competition between brothers and sisters for parents’ affection and attention • Can happen when a new baby is born • Toddler might show off, act in inappropriate ways, or revert back to baby like behaviors • the child may need more affection and reassurance • Steps a parent can take to cut down on sibling rivalry • Make sure the children know they are loved • Set aside time to be with each child • Avoid comments that compare one child to another • Make clear that you will not accept one child tattling to get the other in trouble

18. How can the number of siblings and/or birth order affect a child’s experiences with jealousy? • Write about a time you were jealous of a sibling.

19. Love and Affection • Relationships that children have with others forms their capacity for love and affection later in life • Relationships between children and parents should be strong but not smothering • A child who depends too much on caregivers has difficulty forming other relationships

20. Empathy • The ability to put oneself in another’s place • Caregivers can teach children empathy • Ex: if the child does something to hurt another child’s feelings, tell the child to apologize

21. Individual Differences • Each child is unique • A child’s temperament is a factor in emotions

22. Developing a Positive Self-Concept • How they see themselves • Can be positive- if you see yourself as a good person, capable, and can control emotions • Can be negative- if you see yourself as a bad person, incapable, or loses emotional control • A child forms their self concept in response to actions, attitudes, and comments to others • Mastery of skills helps build self concept

23. How can a child’s self-concept be affected is a parent’s expectations are unreasonably high or low? • What can parents do to develop reasonable expectations?

24. Evaluating Emotional Adjustment • The signs of a healthy relationship between parents and child: • Child seeks approval and praise • Child turns to parents for comfort and help • Child tells parents about significant events • Child accepts discipline and limits without unusual resistance

25. Activity • Write down your self-concept- what you think you are like. • With each idea you write down, try to determine when in your life it arose.