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Staying Optimistic in the Face of ADVERSITY:. Self-Care and Managing Stress Sonia McMahon-Comartin Roots & Wings Professional Life Coaching. So many things are based on:.
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Staying Optimistic in the Face of ADVERSITY: Self-Care and Managing Stress Sonia McMahon-Comartin Roots & Wings Professional Life Coaching
So many things are based on: • CHOICES – critical to be at choice. No longer victimized by circumstances faced with, but powerfully choose how to view a situation. • PERSPECTIVES – creating perspective expands the opening through which we look at our life circumstances. When reexamine our viewpoints, see possibility and change. • VALUES – represent who you are; principles you hold to be of worth in your life. Values are intrinsic to you.
React or Respond? • Common Practice: Stimulus/Event>REACT • Work towards: Stimulus/Event>>>>>>>>>>RESPOND (freedom to choose)
Should vs. WANT • Look at what you WANT to do, rather than what you or others believe you should do. • Focus on what has meaning for you; life does not include a dress rehearsal.
Look in the MIRROR • Look deeply into your own eyes and identify with who you see. • Do you like the person within? • Be honest with yourself about the types of things you said and did today: Were they healthy and productive, or were they negative and energy zapping? > >How would you feel about being a good friend?
Putting Things In Perspective~Personal Reflection~ • Do I love and respect myself? • Helpful to change my way of thinking? • In difficult situations, what can I find to be grateful for? • What keeps me motivated everyday? • How do I express gratitude? • Do I have clearly defined goals? • How are my choices impacting me?
SABOTEURS (GREMLINS): >Our self-talk needs to be louder and more POSITIVE than that of our saboteurs. >>We are in control. >>>Awareness of language: both internal and external. PainPower I can’t >>> I won’t I should >>> I need/want I’m never satisfied >>> I want to learn & grow
ATTITUDE – a habit we’ve developed over the years. • Word ATTITUDE: ~ comes from the same Latin Root as the word aptitude. ~ the root word, APTUS, meant FITNESS to the Romans. Our attitudes have a lot to do with physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual fitness. >>What do you want, but not have? Allow possibilities: do not put a lid on your hopes and desires.
How I Can Earn My SUA Degree S _____________ U _____________ A _____________ This is the way I believe people experience interacting with me: Pleasurable/ Fun/ Gratifying/ Undesirable Taxing Miserable ________ _______ _________
Become your OWN Best Friend Imagine that you have stepped out of your body, and you are now standing next to yourself. >What can you say that is comforting and helpful? >>How can you encourage this person to feel more comfortable/confident about him or herself? >>>Establish a relationship; provide constructive feedback.
COURAGE • French origin: “corage”, or “of heart” • Original meaning: “ACTING WITH HEART” • The kind of courage we all need to recognize, honour, and celebrate ~ authentic acts of the heart • What is more COURAGEOUS than CHOOSING to do something OUT OF LOVE, from a place of knowing it’s the RIGHT THING TO DO, or simply BECAUSE YOU WANT TO?
Albert Schweitzer said: “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.” • Someone who has rejuvenated my inner light: • I could reawaken the inner light of: ~It is the hearts you touch that will determine your true success in life~
Reflective Writing: Mini-Project Reflecting on your own life experience: • List negative hurts on left side of page. • List positive experiences on right side of page. “You have to feel it to heal it.” Alan D. Wolfelt
Give “AIRTIME”: • Be There • Be Sensitive • Be Silent “The only way to get to the other side is to go through the door.”Helen Keller
Not About Fixing: • Companion others as they face their hardships. • Can’t make it better. • Not give advice; possibly add perspective. • Not suggested to take on everyone else’s problems. • Healthier and more helpful to be supportive, but not feel responsible.
OVERWHELM • How am I going to get all this done? • Change to perspective of: An abundant gift • Recognize our inborn gifts and our ability to manifest and create abundance: Helps us to be grateful for everything the universe has delivered to us. • Changing our perspective: quickly shift from overwhelm into ACTION.
GOAL Setting • Specific – what exactly do you want to accomplish? • Measureable – and have a date attached. • Accountable – useful to partner with someone. • Resonant – something a person truly desires, finds meaning in, and is passionate about. • Thrilling – really anxious to get started! Helpful to have goals to stretch yourself to.
Values & Life Purpose • What is important to me? ~In accordance with how live life and principles live by~ • What are my greatest gifts?
A PURPOSEFUL LIFE • What is my life purpose? • What am I meant to do here? • What do I want to do with my life? ….keeping in mind….. Making a “living” is not the same thing as “making a life”…
Self-Care Strategies • Self-care strategies in the areas of physical, mental, and emotional health:
References & Suggested Readings Covey, S.R., The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1990. Frankl, V., Man’s Search For Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, nd. Jeffers, S., Feel The Fear….And Do It Anyway. New York: Ballantine Books, 2007. McCarthy, K.W., The On-Purpose Person: Making Your Life Make Sense. Winter Park, FL: On-Purpose Publishing, 2009. Wolfelt, A.D., Living In The Shadow Of The Ghosts Of Grief: Step Into The Light. Fort Collins, CO: Companion Press, 2007.
Roots & Wings Professional Life Coaching & Bereavement Support Sonia McMahon-Comartin 12525 Lakeshore Road 302 Complete Chiropractic Centre R. R. #1 4100 Tecumseh Road East Stoney Point, ON Windsor, ON N0R 1N0 N8W 1J8 519-798-5800 519-252-1001 Sonia@rootswings.ca www.rootswings.ca