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“ Myths and Enchantment Tales ” Attraction and Disillusionment in Same-Sex Romantic Relationships

“ Myths and Enchantment Tales ” Attraction and Disillusionment in Same-Sex Romantic Relationships. Carmen Fortes Diane Felmlee, Ph.D. David Orzechowicz, Graduate Student Sociology Department University of California-Davis. Introduction.

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“ Myths and Enchantment Tales ” Attraction and Disillusionment in Same-Sex Romantic Relationships

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  1. “Myths and Enchantment Tales”Attraction and Disillusionment in Same-Sex Romantic Relationships Carmen Fortes Diane Felmlee, Ph.D. David Orzechowicz, Graduate Student Sociology Department University of California-Davis

  2. Introduction “It begins with an attraction; two people are drawn inexorably to one another and an intimate relationship ensues.” “More often than not, however, it ends with disillusionment and heartbreak; the relationship does not work out…” “What happened? What went wrong?” (Felmlee, 1998)

  3. Introduction • Recent research explores the social process of fatal attraction,that is,thepropensity of individuals to become disillusioned with the qualities that initially attracted them to an intimate partner. • While the existence of fatal attraction is well documented, research almost exclusively uses data about heterosexually-identified individuals and couples.

  4. IntroductionDefinition of Fatal Attraction • Partner is seen as having “too much” of an attractive quality • Fatal does not mean deadly • Fatal as in “prophetic” or “foretelling a sequence” • This sequence begins with attraction to a partner quality and ends with a disillusionment to that quality.

  5. Illustrations of Fatal Attractions(Felmlee, 2001)

  6. Purposes of this Research • Expand sample to include lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered (LGBT) individuals • Examine illustrations of fatal attraction in LGBT responses to open-ended questions and compare them with previous research • Possibility of expanding theory to new types of fatal attraction • Give “voice” to an understudied population

  7. Hypothesis Fatal attractions will be found in same-sex relationships. This will support the idea that these relationships are comparable to heterosexual relationships, even though American culture constructs LGBT relationships as deviant, and assigns them different labels.

  8. Background Information • Research on same-sex romantic relationships has been limited • Homosexuality was seen as deviant behavior and listed as mental disorder by the APA until 1973 • In a recent Gallup Poll (2003), when asked whether same-sex relations between consenting adults should be legal, 46 % of respondents said “No” - USA Today http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2003-07-28-poll_x.htm

  9. Background Information • Close personal relationships provide meaning (Klinger, 1977) • Dyads are central to interpersonal relationships – A dyadic consciousness emerges as a relationship develops (Wilmot, 1999) • Over time, a couple may discover disturbing aspects of the other’s behavior or personality: Fatal Attraction(Felmlee, 2001)

  10. Theory • Virtues & Vices are one in the same“Her strengths are her weaknesses.” • Opposing Relationship Forces - Dialectical Theory (Baxter & Montgomery 1996) 1. Autonomy vs. connectedness 2. Openness vs. closedness 3. Novelty vs. predictability

  11. Materials & Methods • Questionnaire: “Attraction in Romantic Relationships” • Administered to adult volunteer participants at the June 2005 Sacramento Pride Fair, a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered (LGBT) public event • 112 Respondents • Open and close-ended questions

  12. Describe the specific qualities that first attracted you to that individual. What are (were) the specific qualities about that individual that you find (found) least attractive? Research Design Open-Ended Questions

  13. To what extent were you first attracted to the following quality in your partner? To what extent do you possess the following quality? To what extent does your partner possess too little or too much of the following quality? Research Design Closed-Ended Questions 1 = not at all 7 = extremely 1 = not at all 7 = extremely 1 = too little 4 = ideal 7 = too much

  14. Research Design Sample Sacramento Pride 2005

  15. Research Design Sample Sacramento Pride 2005

  16. Research Design Sample Sacramento Pride 2005 Mean Age: 34 years

  17. Research Design Sample

  18. Summary of Results Light Side Dark Side “Sensitive” “Moody” “Self-assured” “Need to control” “Kind manner” “Lack of life goals “Cute, physically attractive” “Clueless” “Shy” “A lone wolf” “Not stick-skinny” “Not very athletic” “Trying to better himself” “Focus on money” “Self-confidence” “Narcissism”

  19. Summary of Results In-depth Illustration of Fatal Attraction in Data Set First attracted: “His character, honesty, frankness, comfortable environment to be myself. Kindness, and last but not least his looks. He was very non-judgmental of me and always told me the truth, however bitter it was.” Least Attractive Qualities: “Nothing, he was perfect in my eyes, but at the same time he is homosexual… so I couldn't have any relationship with him, because the only relationship I could have is through marriage.”

  20. Summary of Preliminary Findings • Cases of fatal attraction in the open-ended comments of these respondents • Fatal attractions occur among both males and females in the data set • Evidence of contradicting forces

  21. Discussion • Fatal attraction is not limited to heterosexual couples • Fatal attractions in the LGBT population may have unique qualities.

  22. Next Steps • Quantitative Analysis, etc. • Analysis of unique LGBT fatal attractions

  23. References Baxter, Leslie A. and Barbara M. Montgomery. (1996). Relating: Dialogues and Dialectics. New York: Gifford Press. Felmlee, Diane H. (2001). “From Appealing to Appalling: Disenchantment with a Romantic Partner.” Sociological Perspectives. 44:263-280. Felmlee, D. (1998). “Fatal attraction.” In B. H. Spitzberg & W. R. Cupach (Eds.), The Dark Side of Close Relationships. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Klinger, E. (1977). Meaning and void: Inner experiences and the incentives in people’s lives. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press. Wilmot, W.W. (1999). Relational communication. New York: McGraw-Hill.

  24. Acknowledgements • Ronald E. McNair Scholars Research Program • Faculty Mentor: Diane Felmlee, Ph.D. • David Orzechowicz, Graduate Student • McNair Advisor: Ellen Robert, Ph.D. • The Staff and Students of UC Davis McNair Scholars Program

  25. “Myths and Enchantment Tales”Attraction and Disillusionment in Same-Sex Romantic Relationships Carmen Fortes Diane Felmlee, Ph.D. David Orzechowicz, Graduate Student Sociology Department University of California-Davis

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