David Mandel & Associates, LLC May 9, 2013

How do Domestic Violence Services and Advocates Help Children?: Closing the Gap in Understanding the Importance of Domestic Violence Services for Children David Mandel & Associates, LLC May 9, 2013

Survivors as Parents • Domestic violence survivors who have children may be experiencing varied and numerous challenges • Children who are angry or hurt about a separation or not being able to see the perpetrator • Children who act out or are disrespectful due to the perpetrators’ interference with the relationship between children and their mothers • Challenges in maintaining a routine or consistency in the face of a perpetrator’s unpredictability • Exhaustion, trauma, frustration, fear from abuse impact parenting • Children who are angry or believe the survivor isn’t doing enough to protect them • Changes in financial support, access to money, transportation, child care or resources impacts parenting • Facing evaluation, custody hearings, or other court proceedings impacts emotional well-being of survivors and children (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

Advocacy Supporting Survivors as Parents • Provide education about impact of DV on children • Information about how children may feel about abuse • Information about how children may respond to separation • Information about the relationship between the children and the perpetrator • Provide a place for survivors to discuss their feelings outside the presence of the children • Provide support for survivors who need guidance on maintaining consistency, boundaries and positive relationships with the children • Advocate within various systems for survivors in a way that supports positive outcomes for children (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

Domestic Violence Providers and Children Working with Adult Survivors Working with Child Survivors Supports good parenting that helps children Supports custody, financial orders and protection orders that support needs of children Supports survivors in helping children heal/ talk about their experiences Supports keeping children in care of survivors Provides safe place for children to talk about their feelings, fears, needs Help children regulate their anxieties Assess for trauma Children get to be heard Help develop healthy coping skills (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

Discussion Question How do DV services communicate to child welfare what it does for the safety and well-being of children? (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

What Children Exposed to Batterers Need • How does domestic violence advocacy contributing to the child’s safety, stability, nurturance and healing from trauma? • Do we distinguish between the different roles of perpetrator and non-offending parent when talking with Child Welfare? (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

DV Agencies and CPS • Share information about how DV providers help children when talking to CPS • Give a context for them that focuses on child safety and well-being • Communicate with CPS using their framework • If the concern is that they are revictimizing survivors, explain how that harms children • Focus on how perpetrators harm children and how survivors support healing and safety for children • Provide a context for children’s response to DV • If the child is angry at the survivor for leaving the perpetrator, help CPS understand the context of the perpetrator’s interference with the survivor’s relationship and authority in the home • If a child is having behavioral issues, give a context of their trauma and learning from the perpetrator (c)2013 David Mandel & Associates LLC Do not reproduce or distribute without permission

David Mandel & Associates, LLC May 9, 2013