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BECOMING PARENTS. Unit 4 – Chapter 10. When Couples Become Parents. The couple relationship changes after the birth of a child
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BECOMING PARENTS Unit 4 – Chapter 10
When Couples Become Parents • The couple relationship changes after the birth of a child • Stress results from interactions between individuals and their environment that they perceive as straining or exceeding their ability to adapt and threatening their well being
When Couples Become Parents • One of the contributing factors to stress is role overload, which occurs when individuals try to carry out multiple roles • Both men and women who are new parents experience some level of role overload
When Couples Become Parents • Many couples experience some decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of a child • One of the causes of change in the couple relationship is the lack of couple time • Along with lack of personal time, time with extended family, time with friends and time commitments at work
Planned vs. Unplanned Pregnancy • Couples who planned their pregnancies experience less significant decline in marital satisfaction than those who experienced unplanned parenthood • Men experience less stress during the transition when the pregnancy was planned • An individual’s ability to control role overload also reduces the level of stress
Planned vs. Unplanned Pregnancy • Unplanned pregnancy is more common in cohabiting relationships • When cohabiting couples become parents, there tends to be more stress during pregnancy than after the child is born • 66% of pregnancies are planned
Major Changes to Couple Relationships • Many couples revert to more traditional gender roles after the birth of a child • Decline in family income • Reduced frequency and quality of couple time • Less time for couple communication • Sexual intercourse is less frequent • Leaving the workforce for an extended period
Major Changes to Couple Relationships • The best predictor of marital satisfaction during the transition to parenthood is marital satisfaction before parenthood
Parent-Child Relationships • The relationship between parents and their children is one of the most significant relationships in life • According to Erik Erikson, for most individuals, the transition to adulthood is complete when the individual takes on a significant caring relationship with a child
Erik Erikson’s 8 Psychosocial Stages of Development Stage 7 Ages: Middle Adulthood (40 – 65 years) Basic Conflict: Generativity vs. Stagnation Important Event: Work and Parenthood Outcome: Adults need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by having children or creating a positive change that benefits other people. Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.
Parent-Child Relationships • Erikson described generativityas being concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation • It reflects an individual’s psychosocial need of needing to take care of someone • Having children is the usual means of achieving the strength of generativity rather than becoming self-absorbed • Generativity can be achieved by making an enduring contribution to society in other ways
Parenting Styles • Diana Baumrind described 3 basic styles of parenting that were identified based on beliefs about the reciprocal attitudes of parent and child, the sharing of power and the desirable degree of conformity to social norms
Parenting Styles • Authoritative Parenting • Characterized by warmth and acceptance • Authoritative parents exert indirect positive control of the children as they encourage them to control their own behaviour in accordance with norms • Authoritative parents see children as capable of making choices to conform to a fair society
Parenting Styles • Authoritarian Parenting • Distinguished by a more formal interaction • Expectation of obedience to norms • More parental control • Use of punishment • Authoritarian parents believe that children should obey authorities but are easily tempted to misbehave, so they need firm direction
Parenting Styles • Permissive Parenting • Typified by relaxed relationships between parents and children • Few rules • Children have a larger share of power in the family
Parenting Styles • Children raised by authoritative parents are better adjusted psychologically and have a better self-concept • Authoritarian parents use more physical punishment, which can create fear, children who experience this type of parenting may feel rejected by their parents • Children raised by authoritarian parents tend to have difficulty making their own decisions
Parenting Styles • Children raised by permissive parents who offer warmth and encouragement tend to be more irresponsible and impulsive • While children raised by permissive parents who are hostile and rejecting tend to be flighty, anxious and emotionally deprived • Permissive parenting does not teach children to become self-reliant and responsible for their actions