Effective Parenting: Preventing and Understanding Mental Health Issues in Children

1. Effective Parenting, Preventing and Understanding Mental Health Issues in Children

2. Parenting styles

3. Outcome of parenting styles

4. Pillars of Parenting Four pillars build a good roof for the child to grow up under: • Communication (spelt: L – I – S – T – E – N) • Be role model. Do what you expect the child to do • Be consistent and clear in laying down rules • Build the child’s self-esteem: Praise more than scold

5. Listening • Learn to listen actively, not passively. Give full attention • Never dismiss what the child is saying as “childish” • Encourage the child to talk on any topic – nothing is taboo • Do not interrupt when he is speaking • Teach the child to express his emotions: “I am …… happy, angry, jealous, excited, frustrated, confused …….” • Do not bring in studies or results when the child is talking on some other topic • Accept even wrong actions ….. for the moment. You can correct him later. Quality time

6. Be a role model “Children are very poor at listening to their parents, but they are very good at mimicking them” • Be aware of your words and actions when the child is around • Don’t make commitments you can’t live up to • Accept your mistakes when you do something wrong • Discuss your actions, and ask your child his opinion about them

7. Consistency • Same rules at all time, do not keep changing • Make rules before a crisis or argument takes place • Explain why rule is being made, and take child’s opinion • Mother and father should follow same rules, and never push the child to each other • Describe punishment in advance, and let it be on an increasing scale for repeated acts Discuss rules of YOUR family, and explain why you do not follow others’ norms

8. Respect and Trust • How you treat your spouse decides how your child will treat you • If you want him to respect you, give him respect • Trust the child – even if he’s let you down earlier • Show your commitment to the family at all times. Do not tell outsiders • Be open and frank, never do anything behind the child’s back If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.- - - - Bette Davis

9. Mental Health Mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community

10. Causes of Mental health issues There is combination of factors that are believed to cause mental health problems, including: • Biological factors – for example genetics, whether someone in your family has a mental health issue • Negative early life experiences – for example abuse, neglect, death of a family member or close friend • Individual factors – for example self-esteem or way of thinking about yourself and others • Current social circumstances – for example school, work, relationship or family stress, or negative life events

11. Facts on Mental Health • 1 in 10 kids struggles with their mental health. • If you are feeling depressed or angry or anxious, you are not alone. • Mental health problems can happen to any young person, regardless of age or circumstance. • They can affect a child or youth as easily as cancer or a physical disability. • There’s no one to blame for it and there should be no shame in it. • When parents are addiction to alcohol or drugs chances of developing mental health is four time The good news is, mental health issues can be an managed and overcome

12. Mental health issues Disability Learning disability Dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia Disorder • Anxiety Disorders • Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) • Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) • Behaviour Disorders (including Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Conduct Disorder (CD)) • Mood Disorders (including Depression, Bipolar Disorder (Manic-Depression))  • Eating Disorders • Schizophrenia • Substance Abuse • Tourette Syndrome • Trichotillomania

13. Warning Signs The following signs may indicate the need for professional assistance or evaluation: • Decline in school performance • Poor grades despite strong efforts • Regular worry or anxiety • Repeated refusal to go to school or take part in normal children’s activities • Hyperactivity or fidgeting • Persistent nightmares • Persistent disobedience or aggression • Frequent temper tantrums • Depression, sadness or irritability

14. Nurture children’s confidence and self-esteem • Praise Them • Set Realistic Goals • Be Honest • Avoid Sarcastic Remarks • Encourage children • Criticize the action, not the child • Do not compare the child with ANYONE else • Identify good qualities or actions of the child and repeat them • Give “non-material” rewards • Balance negative reinforcements and rewards • Never kill the dreams of a child – allow him to dream

15. Sexual Abuse • Sexual touching of any part of the body, clothed or unclothed; • Penetrative sex, including penetration of the mouth; • Encouraging a child to engage in sexual activity, including masturbation; • Intentionally engaging in sexual activity in front of a child; • Showing children pornography, or using children to create pornography; • Encouraging a child to engage in prostitution.

16. Signs of sexual abuse Physical warning signs • Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare.  If you see these signs, bring your child to a doctor.   Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases. • Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth • Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements • Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training

17. Contd…. Signs more typical of younger children • An older child behaving like a younger child (such as bed-wetting or thumb sucking) • Has new words for private body parts • Resists removing clothes when appropriate times (bath, bed, toileting, diapering) • Asks other children to behave sexually or play sexual games • Mimics adult-like sexual behaviors with toys or stuffed animal • Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training

19. Areas/skills that parents can focus • Observation skills • Emotional skills • Logical thinking • Reading skills • Communication skills • Stamina • Sitting tolerance • Creativity • Values

20. Activities to be done together • Gardening • Listen to music • Playing • Hobbies • Story Reading (Reading aloud) • Puzzles • Vocabulary building

21. Parenting is a job to be enjoyed.Learn to play the game of Parenting, and build a Team with your childWhether your child is 2 or 12 years old, the time to start is NOW. It just takes some common sense and patient efforts Thank you