Parenting

1. Parenting Styles and Stats

2. Parent • One who gives birth to a child • One who nurtures and cares for a child • A guardian or protector

3. Activity • On a sheet of paper please list some GOOD traits of parents • In a second column, list some BAD traits of parents

4. The choice to be a Parent • Parenting is a full time job • Many parents choose to have children for the many rewards it brings • Love • New experiences • Children bring enthusiasm to life

5. Responsibilities • How does having a child change a couple’s life? • What areas of their life have to be in order before they should consider having a child?

6. Physical Needs • Providing food, shelter, clothing and medical care • This may involve taking classes or working extra hours • Meeting physical needs takes time as well • Grocery shopping, laundry, doctor’s appointments

7. Intellectual Needs • Parents need to help children learn • Parent should provide: • Educational tools like toys • Challenged to develop intellect • Help and tutoring during the school years

8. Social Needs • Parents teach children to communicate, share, and get along with others • What social etiquette did your parents teach you?

9. Emotional Needs • Parents guide children in developing healthy emotions • Parents need to teach children that emotions are not a negative thing, but that they can affect decision making • A parent’s love should be constant and UNCONDITIONAL • Parents need to show love openly, so that children understand how to show others that they love them

10. Values • You learn values from your parents • Values are standards that guide your actions • What values have you learned from your parents?

11. Self-Esteem • Self esteem is liking yourself and feeling that you are good and worthwhile • Parents teach children to love themselves no matter what, and help them build their self esteem • Parents should make children feel important by treating them as much as possible like they would their peers • Not interrupting, asking their opinions and allowing them to make choices

12. Self Esteem • Have you ever felt like someone did not treat you the way you wanted to be treated? • Did it affect your self esteem?

13. Factors to Consider • Before becoming a parent, adults should consider these factors: • Are they socially ready? • Are they financially ready? • Are they in good health? • Are they ready for the responsibility?

14. Guidance • The greatest role a parent will play is a guide for the child • Guidance includes all words and actions that a parent uses that may affect the child’s behavior • This could be positive or negative

15. Discipline • Discipline includes all methods parent use to teach acceptable behavior • The main concern of discipline is teaching • Discipline should teach the child self control, teaching limits, and enforcing the limits

16. Punishment • Punishment differs from discipline in one major way: • Punishment is a consequence for unwanted behavior that isn’t motivated by teaching, but by fear, humiliation, or power • Punishment is not an effective way to parent because it lacks the key factor in guiding children: • It does not teach them to learn self control or make their own choices

17. Example • A Child is told many times to keep their glass away from the edge of the table. The child continues to put their glass on the edge and knocks it over with their arm. • To discipline this action, a parent could tell the child they must clean it up themselves so that they learn that their choice led to them having to clean it up • To punish this action, the parent might pull the child out of the chair and spank them or tell them they must leave the table and cannot have more dinner.

18. Example • A teenage that is able to drive takes their mom’s car without permission and gets into a minor fender bender. • To discipline this action, a parent might have the teenage pay for part or all of the repairs by getting a job or doing chores around the house so that they learn that their action had a financial consequence • To punish this action, a parent might make the teenager stand on the street with an embarrassing sign

19. Parenting Styles • There are three types of parenting styles • These styles are defined by the type of guidance given • They are: • Authoritarian • Authoritative • Permissive

20. Authoritarian • Authoritarian parenting is like a government run by a dictator- there is a person in charge and everyone else has to fall in line without asking questions • Authoritarian parents are extremely strict and unyielding • They will not allow for the children to have an opinion or say in how they will be raised

21. Example • A child tends to be a just a little messy. An Authoritarian parent would demand that the child’s room look a certain way with no exceptions. They would not allow personalization that fell outside of their preferences. If the parent came in to a messy room, they would yell and empty out all of the drawers and make the child refold everything until it was perfect.

22. Disadvantages • The disadvantage to Authoritarian parenting is that usually punishment, not discipline, is used • Children grow up being forced to everything according to their parent’s wishes and do not learn to express themselves or have healthy emotions • The parents will use fear and humiliation to keep children in line • Children will learn that they don’t have the right to their own opinion

23. Advantages • There are no real advantages since the children will only comply out of fear or threat of humiliation or punishment

24. Authoritative • Authoritative parents are similar to a government run by a democracy • Everyone has a say and even though some members of the family have more power than others, everyone has an opinion and is open to speaking it • Authoritative parents use discipline to teach and guide

25. Example • A teenager is getting older and thinks that their curfew is too early. They would be able to talk to their parents about it, and would not be punished for wanted to change the rules. The parents would consider and come to a decision that takes the teenagers opinion into account.

26. Advantages • Advantages of Authoritative parenting include: • The child learns self esteem from having a voice • There is still structure and guidance since the parents have the final say • Discipline is used instead of punishment • Children learn early on how to resolve conflict effectively

27. Disadvantages • None

28. Permissive Parenting • Permissive parenting is similar to anarchy • There is no structure, no rules, and very little guidance from parents • Parents appear more like friends than adults in charge • Children will make all of their own decisions and parents will not argue with it

29. Example • Teenager wants to get her nose pierced even though it’s against school rules. The parent would allow the piercing and then when the teenager got in trouble at school, the parent would talk to the teenager about how unfair it all is and attempt to be their friend instead of teaching them how to follow rules.

30. Disadvantages • Children thrive from structure, and will feel insecure in this environment • Children are not capable of making adult decisions and will suffer more natural consequences • When the parent attempts to be a friend, they are not there when the child needs actual guidance • Children may put themselves into dangerous situations

31. Advantages • Children will have some sense of their own importance, although it will be skewed due to no structure

32. Activity • Which parenting style would you use and why?