Words matter

1. Words Matter!!! Words To Remove and Replace from Your Vocabulary THE POWER OF WORDS: Words have incredible power in our lives. For one, they provide us with a vehicle for expressing and sharing our experiences with others. Most of us don’t realize, however, that the words you habitually choose also affect what you experience. Transformational Vocabulary is about how you can take control of your habitual vocabulary to change the quality of your life. Simply by changing your habitual vocabulary—the words you consistently use to describe the emotions of your life— you can instantly change how you think, feel and how you live. I know it sounds odd but how people speak does reveal a lot about who they are. Most likely the guy cussing all over the place is also angry at other parts of his life and most likely not very successful in any area of his life. Since our language directly affects how we think and feel it’s imperative we don’t use dis-empowering words. So we go with some phrases and words to remove and replace from your vocabulary. Should… Please don't should on others. Please don't should on yourself. Please don't should on me. When you’re saying you should do something, you’re saying that you haven’t done something yet and you feel bad about yourself so you should do it. We live with a lot of shoulds. We should go to church, we should visit our sick relative in the hospital. We should do this, we should do that.

2. Get rid of that word and either do it or don't. Should can be replaced with "must". Telling others what they should or should not do is not well received. Can easily be replaced with "May I make a suggestion and I have some recommendations." Can’t… Saying you can’t do something is a sure way to ensure your failure to achieve such a task. Like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” Your mind will believe the words you say and the thoughts you think. Choose them wisely. I Hope or Hopefully… When you say I hope, you’re saying (without knowing it) that you have no control over the situation. You’re essentially giving up all your power to effect change. Hopefully we will sounds like we have no control or power. When you replace hope with the word “know” you’ll find from a linguistic perspective you start to feel like you’re in control again. Don’t hope for things to be a certain way, know that they will be. I Have To… Replace the phrase “I have to” with, "I am", “I will” or “I’m going to”. Have to implies you don’t have control and you’re a victim.

3. Try… Like Yoda says, “There is not try. There is do or don’t do, not try!” You either do things or you don’t do things. Trying is irrelevant. When you say you’re going to try to do something, you’re telling yourself it’s okay if I don’t do it. It’s okay to not do things and not be tied down to your schedule. Being a person of your word is challenging but when you remove the word “try” from your vocabulary, you’ll find that you feel much more empowered. Give it a do! not a try! But… When you use the word “but” it become a connector word that negates whatever was used before it. So for example, if you were to say: “I really like Jenny BUT she’s such a problem in my life that I can’t deal with her.” it nullifies the positive statement before it. It leaves the impression in the mind of the listener that you don’t like Jenny at all. It has the exact opposite effect. If you were to say “I really like Jenny andit’s challenging for me to deal with her.” Buts are only good for sitting on. (Butts). You can replace but with and ....it will have a better reaction. This phrase is much better tolerated not only by you but and by others listening as well. Honestly People use honestly to add emphasis. The problem is, the minute you tell your reader this particular statement is honest, you’ve implied the rest of your words were not.

4. Always and Never Absolutes locks you into a position, sound conceited and close-minded, and often open the door to criticism regarding inaccuracies. Alwaysis rarely true. Unless you’re giving written commands or instruction, find another word. If you can find just one exception it's not true. It's an excellent way to start an argument or fight. "You never take out the garbage" "You always forget me" Maybe This makes you sound uninformed, unsure of the facts you’re presenting. Regardless of the topic, do the legwork, be sure. The only thing you communicate when you include these words is uncertainty. Maybe can be easily replaced with quite possibly. Disempowering Empowering should choose, desire, want, will, MUST need to choose to have to Desire to or choose to can’t choose not to always, never sometimes, often, seldom must choose, desire but and

5. try intend, aim, will, can, commit to nah, nope, huh-uh No yeah, uh-huh Yes I AM just, only maybe quite possibly problem opportunity, challenge